This is a discussion on Talking Dog For Sale!! within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; A guy is driving around the back woods of Montana and he sees a sign in front of a broken down shanty-style house: 'Talking Dog ...
A guy is driving around the back woods of Montana and he sees a sign in front of a broken down shanty-style house: 'Talking Dog For Sale ' He rings the bell and the owner appears and tells him the dog is in the backyard.
The guy goes into the backyard and sees a nice looking Labrador retriever sitting there.
'You talk?' he asks.
'Yep,' the Lab replies.
After the guy recovers from the shock of hearing a dog talk, he says 'So, what's your story?'
The Lab looks up and says, 'Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA. In no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping.'
'I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running. But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger so I decided to settle down.'
'I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security, wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals.'
'I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired.'
The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog.
'Ten dollars,' the guy says.
'Ten dollars? This dog is amazing! Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?'
'Because he's a liar. He never did any of that stuff!'
CCW permit holder for Idaho, Utah, Pennsylvania, Maine and New Hampshire. I can carry in your country but not my own.
"Obviously you're not a golfer." -The Dude
A good one Gunny! Saw it before but still good. Kind of like this one though.
An elementary teacher tells the story of the Three Little Pigs.
When the story comes around for one of the pigs to ask the farmer for straw to build the house the teacher stops and asks the class what the farmer thought about it.
The kids raised their hands and teacher called on one little boy who stood up and said,
"The farmer probably said "holy s**t....A TALKING PIG!"
"A Smith & Wesson always beats 4 aces!"
The Man Prayer. "Im a man, I can change, if I have to.....I guess!" ~ Red Green