Southern Home Security
This is a discussion on Southern Home Security within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; 1. Go to a secondhand store and buy a pair of men's used size 14-16 work boots.
2. Place them on your front porch, along ...
Post By Dragman
Post By OD*
March 25th, 2011 08:59 AM
Southern Home Security
1. Go to a secondhand store and buy a pair of men's used size 14-16 work boots.
2. Place them on your front porch, along with a copy of Guns & Ammo Magazine.
3. Put four giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazines.
4. Leave a note on your door that reads:
Bertha, Duke, Slim, & I went for more ammo and beer. Be back in an hour.
Don't mess with the pit bulls. They attacked the mailman this morning and messed him up pretty bad. I don't think Killer was in on it, but it was hard to tell from all the blood. Anyway, I locked all four of 'em in the house.
Better wait outside. Be right back.
To crush your enemies, to see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentations of their women
March 25th, 2011 09:14 AM
A burglar broke into a home and was looking around. He heard a soft voice say, "Jesus is watching you".
Thinking it was just his imagination, he continued his search.
Again the voice said "Jesus is watching you". He turned his flashlight around and saw a parrot in a cage.
He asked the parrot if he was the one talking and the parrot said, "yes."
He asked the parrot what his name was and the parrot said, "Moses."
The burglar asked, "what kind of people would name a parrot Moses?"
The parrot said, "the same kind of people who would name their Pit Bull Jesus".
"The pistol, learn it well, carry it always ..." ~ Jeff Cooper "Terrorists: They hated you yesterday, they hate you today, and they will hate you tomorrow.
End the cycle of hatred, don’t give them a tomorrow."
March 25th, 2011 11:26 AM
Live to ride, ride to live. Harley Road King
And keep a .45 handy
Kimber Custom TLE II
March 25th, 2011 02:00 PM
You can educate ignorance, you can't fix stupid
Retired DE Trooper, SA XD40 SC, S&W 2" Airweight
dukalmighty & Pure Kustom Black Ops Pro "Trooper" Holsters, DE CCDW and LEOSA Permits, Vietnam Vet 68-69 Pleiku
March 25th, 2011 08:46 PM
As has been said befor, It's all good.........
US ARMY Veteran 1965-1967 Vietnam 1966-1967
WELCOME HOME TO ALL WHO SERVED, AND FOR THOSE STILL SERVING,
A BIG THANK YOU FOR YOUR SERVICE. FOR THOSE OF YOU DOWN RANGE
WATCH YOUR 6, AND KEEP YOUR HEAD DOWN.
A PATRIOT BELIEVES IN IT....A VETERAN LIVED IT
March 25th, 2011 10:08 PM
Originally Posted by OD*
Heard this one as the dog being a rotweiller, but its still hilarious!!!!!!!
Op's joke was actually funny , and thought provoking in the sense that, as long as the thugs could read, it might just work!!
Sometimes I wonder whether the world is being run by smart people who are putting us on or by imbeciles who really mean it. Mark Twain
I would rather die with good men than hide with cowards
If you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans
Don't ever think that the reason I'm peaceful is because I don't know how to be violent
M&Pc .357SIG, 2340Sigpro .357SIG
March 26th, 2011 03:14 PM
Both of these were great and I will be passing them on along come Monday morning in my email. Everybody needs a good laugh on Monday! ;)