Southern Home Security

Southern Home Security

This is a discussion on Southern Home Security within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; 1. Go to a secondhand store and buy a pair of men's used size 14-16 work boots. 2. Place them on your front porch, along ...

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  • 6 Post By OD*

Thread: Southern Home Security

  1. #1
    Distinguished Member Array Dragman's Avatar
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    Southern Home Security

    1. Go to a secondhand store and buy a pair of men's used size 14-16 work boots.


    2. Place them on your front porch, along with a copy of Guns & Ammo Magazine.

    3. Put four giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazines.

    4. Leave a note on your door that reads:




    "Bubba,

    Bertha, Duke, Slim, & I went for more ammo and beer. Be back in an hour.
    Don't mess with the pit bulls. They attacked the mailman this morning and messed him up pretty bad. I don't think Killer was in on it, but it was hard to tell from all the blood. Anyway, I locked all four of 'em in the house.


    Better wait outside. Be right back.

    “Cooter"
    OD*, oneshot, garyacman and 2 others like this.
    To crush your enemies, to see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentations of their women


  2. #2
    OD*
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    A burglar broke into a home and was looking around. He heard a soft voice say, "Jesus is watching you".

    Thinking it was just his imagination, he continued his search.

    Again the voice said "Jesus is watching you". He turned his flashlight around and saw a parrot in a cage.

    He asked the parrot if he was the one talking and the parrot said, "yes."

    He asked the parrot what his name was and the parrot said, "Moses."

    The burglar asked, "what kind of people would name a parrot Moses?"

    The parrot said, "the same kind of people who would name their Pit Bull Jesus".
    "The pistol, learn it well, carry it always ..." ~ Jeff Cooper

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    VIP Member Array JDE101's Avatar
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    Both are good!
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    As has been said befor, It's all good.........
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    Quote Originally Posted by OD* View Post
    A burglar broke into a home and was looking around. He heard a soft voice say, "Jesus is watching you".

    Thinking it was just his imagination, he continued his search.

    Again the voice said "Jesus is watching you". He turned his flashlight around and saw a parrot in a cage.

    He asked the parrot if he was the one talking and the parrot said, "yes."

    He asked the parrot what his name was and the parrot said, "Moses."

    The burglar asked, "what kind of people would name a parrot Moses?"

    The parrot said, "the same kind of people who would name their Pit Bull Jesus".



    Heard this one as the dog being a rotweiller, but its still hilarious!!!!!!!

    Op's joke was actually funny , and thought provoking in the sense that, as long as the thugs could read, it might just work!!












    Sometimes I wonder whether the world is being run by smart people who are putting us on or by imbeciles who really mean it. Mark Twain
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  7. #7
    Member Array Carrie's Avatar
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    Both of these were great and I will be passing them on along come Monday morning in my email. Everybody needs a good laugh on Monday! ;)
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