Advice for New Babies, from some recent babies.

Advice for New Babies, from some recent babies.

This is a discussion on Advice for New Babies, from some recent babies. within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; My brother in law had a new baby (thier first) a couple of days ago. So Mrz Jamz had the kids dictate a letter to ...

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  1. #1
    Member Array jamz's Avatar
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    Advice for New Babies, from some recent babies.

    My brother in law had a new baby (thier first) a couple of days ago. So Mrz Jamz had the kids dictate a letter to the new baby while she wrote it all down. The Jamz kid's letters are as follows. It's better if you read them in authoritative small kid voices.

    Nate's letter: (Age 6)

    Dear Baby,

    So, how's it going? We hope you're having a good time. We really hope you like it at Auntie Sally and Uncle Tom's house. Here are some things you need to know:

    Your parents need to teach you how to be a good little kid.

    You should eat properly with a spoon or a fork. And when you're a big kid you would need to learn how to eat with a knife.

    You need to sleep in your own crib So when you sleep you need to not make so much noise. And you need to be real quiet when you're sleeping so you don't wake your parents up and get in trouble.

    When you are friends with other people you need to be nice to them, you can't be mean because then they will hate you and you should tell mom.

    Little baby, you should understand about toys.
    Some toys are very delicate and some aren't delicate at all! Some are medium delicate, and medium-not-delicate.

    And there is a special time called Christmas. And someone named Santa comes to your house at night pulling a sleigh with magical reindeer- he puts a train around your tree, then when you go downstairs in the morning there will be presents wrapped in wrapping paper!

    When you are playing, you should be careful- if you play too rough, you might get really hurt... You might need stitches.

    When you go to the doctor you might need shots.
    You might get stitches, shots, pricks in your back, or a checkup. Or, you might just have a checkup, it is fine, they listen to your heart and weigh you and measure you.

    Dear Baby, this is my biggest hope for you. I hope you stay calm and very brave when you go to the Doctor.

    Love, Nate


    Tess' letter: (Age 3)

    Dear Baby,

    I really love you on your first birthday.

    I really want you to sleep in your bed, don't ever wake your parents up, and when you're thirsty just get some water.

    You have to be patient with friends.

    And when you are at the doctor's you have to be really still. And he puts things in the holes and it makes silly sounds. [editors note: what the ****?]

    You have to swallow when you are eating.

    You have to play with toys so you might like to choke on one.

    You have to peek carefully so don't wake up Mommy and Daddy and get in trouble. [editors note: I'm noticing a trend with the waking of the parents...]

    Love, Tess


  2. #2
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    James - one word - charming! Thx for a broad smile induction.

    You have to play with toys so you might like to choke on one.
    I just love the way kids come out with such wonderful thoughts!
    Chris - P95
    NRA Certified Instructor & NRA Life Member.

    "To own a gun and assume that you are armed
    is like owning a piano and assuming that you are a musician!."


    http://www.rkba-2a.com/ - a portal for 2A links, articles and some videos.

  3. #3
    Member Array fhqwhgads's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jamz
    And when you are at the doctor's you have to be really still. And he puts things in the holes and it makes silly sounds. [editors note: what the ****?]

    That has to be the funniest thing I've read in a long time...

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    Distinguished Member Array BCurry1's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by fhqwhgads

    That has to be the funniest thing I've read in a long time...
    +1 LMAO
    Curry

  5. #5
    VIP Member Array Old Chief's Avatar
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    The wisdom of children is amazing. Just do not wake the parents!!

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