Purina Diet

This is a discussion on Purina Diet within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; I used to have a Great Dane & I was buying a large bag of Purina at Wal-Mart and was in line to check out. ...

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Thread: Purina Diet

  1. #1
    VIP Member Array PatrioticRick's Avatar
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    Purina Diet

    I used to have a Great Dane & I was buying a large bag of Purina at
    Wal-Mart and was in line to check out. A woman behind me asked if I had a dog(?).

    On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting The Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

    I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry & that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.

    I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a tall guy who was behind her.

    Horrified, she asked if I'd been poisoned. I told her no; Id been sitting in the street licking my balls and a car hit me.

    I thought the tall guy was going to have to be carried out the door.
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    VIP Member Array ron8903's Avatar
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    He,He,He...........funny.
    "A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on."
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    Distinguished Member Array randytulsa2's Avatar
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    Oh, Man, you just made my day!!

    Thanks for the laugh.

    I may have to try that one myself!

    That poor lady needs a sign.....

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    VIP Member Array Old Chief's Avatar
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    There are dire consiquences to this diet. I do not think that I will try it. Oh by the way did you offer the lady a sign?

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    LMAO!!!!! That..... That was just awesome.
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    Distinguished Member Array dimmak's Avatar
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    Of course, when she asked if you'd been poisoned, you coulda said: "That's why I eat this stuff, the government poisons all the people food..."
    Great story....
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    VIP Member Array ELCruisr's Avatar
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    Now THAT is a classic piece of humor, did she laugh?
    If you stand up and be counted, from time to time you may get yourself knocked down. But remember this: A man flattened by an opponent can get up again. A man flattened by conformity stays down for good. ~ Thomas J. Watson, Jr.

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    tec
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    JD
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    This reminds of the time my wife (God bless her blonde headed heart)
    was at work and someone commented on how they hoped it wouldn't rain on memorial day seeing as how it rained that day for the last 3 years, and my wife not missing a beat says "All over the world?" Now I'm not defending the idiot at the Wal-Mart, but we do all have our moments....and I must say I applaude your wit and sarcasm in your response.

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    Curry

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    Funny.

    Now I'm going to interject a strange comment. Every so often someone says that they are going to ask a stupid question and we reply that there are no stupid questions. Of course we are parroting what we were taught in school. In a classroom if someone doesn't understand something and asks or in many other environments when there is a lack of understanding we all believe that the person should ask the question. It may sound stupid to us because we already understand, but to the instructor and the person asking it is a perfectly valid question and hence not stupid.

    However in the real world under these conditions:
    I used to have a Great Dane & I was buying a large bag of Purina at
    Wal-Mart and was in line to check out. A woman behind me asked if I had a dog(?).
    There most assuredly is a such thing as a stupid question.
    George

    Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe. Albert Einstein

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    Distinguished Member Array Doc Holliday's Avatar
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    Purina Diet

    Great story, thought I was going to fall out of my chair. LOL.
    Big Bubba
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    <gasping for breath>
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