Post By JoJoGunn
Post By Siddhartha
Post By oneshot
June 29th, 2011 04:11 PM
Late night drunk
A man and his wife were awakened at 3:00 am
by a loud pounding on the door.
The man gets up and goes to the door
where a drunken stranger,
standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push.
"Not a chance," says the husband,
"it is 3:00 in the morning!"
He slams the door and returns to bed.
"Who was that?" asked his wife.
"Just some drunk guy asking for a push," he answers.
"Did you help him?" she asks.
"No, I did not, it is 3:00 in the morning
and it is pouring rain out there!"
"Well, you have a short memory," says his wife.
"Can't you remember about three months ago
when we broke down, and those two guys helped us?
I think you should help him,
and you should be ashamed of yourself!
God loves drunk people too.
The man does as he is told, gets dressed,
and goes out into the pounding rain.
He calls out into the dark,
"Hello, are you still there?"
"Yes," comes back the answer.
"Do you still need a push?"
calls out the husband.
comes the reply from the dark.
"Where are you?" asks the husband.
"Over here on the swing set,"
replied the drunk.
Always remember that others may hate you but those who hate you don't win unless you hate them. And then you destroy yourself.
Richard M Nixon
Owning a handgun doesn't make you armed any more than owning a guitar makes you a musician.”
June 29th, 2011 04:25 PM
Oh brother. LOL!
"A Smith & Wesson always beats 4 aces!"
The Man Prayer. "Im a man, I can change, if I have to.....I guess!" ~ Red Green
June 29th, 2011 05:23 PM
CCW permit holder for Idaho, Utah, Pennsylvania, Maine and New Hampshire. I can carry in your country but not my own.
June 29th, 2011 05:29 PM
THATS GREAT!!!! thank you, I needed that.
"I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched c-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhäuser Gate. All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain."
- Roy Batty
June 29th, 2011 05:40 PM
---> needed that also.....LOL
Arthritis sucks big-big
Why do those elected to positions of power than work so hard
to deny those same opportunities to the same people who empowered them
June 29th, 2011 08:12 PM
And he still pushed me on his swing
“Hokey religions and ancient weapons are no match for a good blaster at your side, kid.” Han Solo
June 29th, 2011 08:58 PM
Anybody see 20 seconds of my life aroun here. I just lost it.
June 29th, 2011 09:08 PM
A man was walking through a rather seedy section of town, when a bum walked up to him and asked the man for two dollars.
The man asked, "Will you buy booze?"
The bum replied, "No."
Then the man asked, "Will you gamble it away?"
The bum said, "No."
Then the man asked the bum, "Will you come home with me so my wife can see what happens to a man who doesn't drink or gamble?"
If you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans.
Washington didn't use his freedom of speech to defeat the British, He shot them!
Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it whether it exists or not, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedy." -- Ernest Benn
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