Late night drunk

Late night drunk

This is a discussion on Late night drunk within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; A man and his wife were awakened at 3:00 am by a loud pounding on the door. The man gets up and goes to the ...

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Thread: Late night drunk

  1. #1
    Distinguished Member Array Floyd D. Barber's Avatar
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    Dec 2009
    Between the Moon and New York City

    Late night drunk

    A man and his wife were awakened at 3:00 am

    by a loud pounding on the door.

    The man gets up and goes to the door

    where a drunken stranger,

    standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push.

    "Not a chance," says the husband,

    "it is 3:00 in the morning!"

    He slams the door and returns to bed.

    "Who was that?" asked his wife.

    "Just some drunk guy asking for a push," he answers.

    "Did you help him?" she asks.

    "No, I did not, it is 3:00 in the morning

    and it is pouring rain out there!"

    "Well, you have a short memory," says his wife.

    "Can't you remember about three months ago

    when we broke down, and those two guys helped us?

    I think you should help him,
    and you should be ashamed of yourself!
    God loves drunk people too.

    The man does as he is told, gets dressed,
    and goes out into the pounding rain.

    He calls out into the dark,
    "Hello, are you still there?"

    "Yes," comes back the answer.

    "Do you still need a push?"
    calls out the husband.
    "Yes, please!"
    comes the reply from the dark.

    "Where are you?" asks the husband.

    "Over here on the swing set,"
    replied the drunk
    Always remember that others may hate you but those who hate you don't win unless you hate them. And then you destroy yourself.
    Richard M Nixon
    Owning a handgun doesn't make you armed any more than owning a guitar makes you a musician.”
    Jeff Cooper

  2. #2
    VIP Member Array JoJoGunn's Avatar
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    Mar 2009
    West Virginia

    Oh brother. LOL!
    oneshot likes this.
    "A Smith & Wesson always beats 4 aces!"

    The Man Prayer. "Im a man, I can change, if I have to.....I guess!" ~ Red Green

  3. #3
    VIP Member
    Array GunnyBunny's Avatar
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    Apr 2007
    Victoria, B.C.
    Insert groan here!
    CCW permit holder for Idaho, Utah, Pennsylvania, Maine and New Hampshire. I can carry in your country but not my own.

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  5. #4
    VIP Member Array 357and40's Avatar
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    Jun 2011
    St. Charles, Missouri
    THATS GREAT!!!! thank you, I needed that.
    "I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched c-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhäuser Gate. All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain."
    - Roy Batty

  6. #5
    VIP Member Array claude clay's Avatar
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    Dec 2007
    ---> needed that also.....LOL
    You plug 'em, I plant 'em
    ...kid can't read at 17 (Garcia/Hunter 1985)
    Lack of preparation on your part does not necessarily constitute an emergency on mine

  7. #6
    Member Array Siddhartha's Avatar
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    Oct 2009
    Keizer, Or
    And he still pushed me on his swing
    INccwchris likes this.
    “Hokey religions and ancient weapons are no match for a good blaster at your side, kid.” Han Solo

  8. #7
    VIP Member Array HKinNY's Avatar
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    Dec 2007
    Nassau, NY(Long Island)
    Anybody see 20 seconds of my life aroun here. I just lost it.

  9. #8
    VIP Member
    Array oneshot's Avatar
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    Jul 2009
    +42.893612,-082.710236 , Mi.
    A man was walking through a rather seedy section of town, when a bum walked up to him and asked the man for two dollars.
    The man asked, "Will you buy booze?"

    The bum replied, "No."

    Then the man asked, "Will you gamble it away?"

    The bum said, "No."

    Then the man asked the bum, "Will you come home with me so my wife can see what happens to a man who doesn't drink or gamble?"
    INccwchris and Spidey2011 like this.
    I would rather die with good men than hide with cowards
    If you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans
    Don't ever think that the reason I'm peaceful is because I don't know how to be violent

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