Breaking News:

This is a discussion on Breaking News: within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; A public school teacher was arrested today at John F. Kennedy International airport as he attempted to board a flight while in possession of a ...

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Thread: Breaking News:

  1. #1
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    Breaking News:

    A public school teacher was arrested today at John F. Kennedy International airport as he attempted to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a compass, a slide-rule and a calculator. At a morning press conference, Attorney General Eric Holder said he believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-Gebra movement.

    He did not identify the man, who has been charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction. "Al-Gebra is a problem for us", the Attorney General said. "They derive solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in search of absolute values. They use secret code names like X and Y and refer to themselves as unknowns, but we have determined that they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country. As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, 'There are 3 sides to every triangle'."

    When asked to comment on the arrest, President Obama said, "If God had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, he would have given us more fingers and toes." White House aides told reporters they could not recall a more intelligent or profound statement by the President - It is believed that another Nobel Prize will follow.
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    Distinguished Member Array Stubborn's Avatar
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    I love it...another Nobel for sure...after all he's earned it
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    Member Array whodog's Avatar
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    How "noble" of the POTUS to be so concerned!!!

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    VIP Member Array glockman10mm's Avatar
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    Now that there is a good one!
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    All this does not add up...
    The last Blood Moon Tetrad for this millennium starts in April 2014 and ends in September 2015...according to NASA.

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    Anthony Wiener announces that he will run for Pres,he has picked Eric Holder as his running mate.

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    Member Array Randy W's Avatar
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    It's all this new math.
    What is the world comming too.

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    Distinguished Member Array ArkhmAsylm's Avatar
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    It just doesn't figure!

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    The latest is that the white house may be considering sending in the Geek Squad to flush out suspected Al-Gebra strongholds.
    If you understand, things are just as they are... If you do not understand, things are just as they are....
    - Zen Saying

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