Sometimes, life can be good and complicated and bad at the same time.....*sigh*

[TN_Mike]

So, as most of you may remember, we moved to Indiana last year and have pretty much hated every second of our time here. We all (me, wife and 5 kids) wanted to move back to West Tennessee, and I have been looking for open jobs in my career field the whole time with really no luck at all.

Now, in the last month there have been some very interesting developments. I got a response to a job opening I sent a resume in for. I was flown down and had an interview and it went very well. It is at one of the TV stations there in Memphis where a friend I used to work with at one of the other stations works now at the RF Engineer. In the process of the interview I mentioned that the job I would love to have would be the one that Don (my friend) currently has of course it isn't open. The job here sounds good but the problem is the medical insurance wouldn't start until the first of the month after a full 30 days of employment, and with my sons medical condition this is essentially a deal killer. This was 2 weeks ago.

This Tuesday, the 5th, I get a call from another station there in Memphis, out of the blue in fact, and they have gotten my name from another friend who I worked with there and I find out they are interested in me for the top job at their small station in town. As I listen to the job description, it sounds amazing and i find myself really excited and wanting this job. The medical insurance would start at this job from day one. The station is much closer to the town we would live in (same town we used to live in) and the job also comes with a company provided truck that they pay for the gas. There are several other people they want to speak to but I am told I am near the top of the list.

Then today, i get a call from the first station telling me that Don, my friend with he RF job, has put in his 2 weeks notice and is going to retire. The job I told them i would much rather have is going to be open! They want to know if I am still interested in it. I tell them i must discuss this with my wife and I will tell them our decision early next week.

Now my dilemma is this:
All these jobs are where we want to live. However, our daughter now has a boyfriend (a very good kid who I like a lot by the way) and she does not want to move back to TN at all. (She is the one kid who did NOT want to move away from TN in the first place by the way. it seems that daughters are put on Earth to give fathers headaches) All the jobs are good. Two of them I really want. I honestly am not sure which one I'd rather have. I'm not sure I will in fact be offered any of them as of yet. And just to make things that much more complicated, because of the move last year I'm not even sure i can afford to move back!

I have a headache and nothing I have taken helps so far. My life seems to be getting more complicated by the day......I'm apprehensive about what tomorrow might bring.

[DefensiveCarry.com]

[atctimmy]

Take some time to pray about it. Then talk to the wife and see if her feelings match yours.

[cmycek]

Don't listen to your kids, follow your heart. Kids will forgive, and where you live is one of the most important decisions in life. But, having three teens, I know your pain.

[LeftofMars]

Well my kids are grown, but in this situation your talking about I would be moving south. Your daughter is a teen I take it. I can see where she's coming from, but a teenage romance would not keep me away from the state and area I missed as much as you appear to miss Tennesse and the south. She will likely rant and rave then pout for a while, but she will get over it.

[Black Knight]

Mike, I can't tell you which way to go but I'll pray that the good Lord points you in the right direction. Take care of yourself and your family.

[HKinNY]

I think you have to do what is in the best intrest of the family. I think you should at least sit down with the kids . How old is your daughter?

I would tell the first jon you would love to take the position but you have another offer on the table for better pay, company vehicle and paid gas and health ins starting day one and they are picking up the tab on a self move back. I would be willing to bet the first company meets the deal.

[gasmitty]

Addressing one of your concerns, the insurance... Almost EVERYTHING is negotiable with HR if you're on the outside coming in. HR loves to wield their power and act like they run the business. But if your hiring manager has faith in you and wants you, they can 'fix' that insurance 30-day waiting period (which, is completely counter to way major companies work, and which leaves me a little suspicious). Ask if a hiring bonus is feasible if they don't offer relocation.

As for your daughter's love life... that's what email and text messaging are for. Into each life some rain must fall. One family member under the age of majority who doesn't contribute to the family support in any meaningful way doesn't get a vote equal to the parents who do. It won't do any good, but you could remind of of her reluctance to move from Tennessee in the first place. ANd if her BF is a good kid, you could also tell her he's welcome to visit your home (but study up on "bundling" from Colonial times).

[Inspector71]

Just my .02 cents, but I would never, ever let a teenage romance interfere with a career decision. Besides, those romances can go sour at any minute. Your daughter may be out of your house in a few years anyway and you will still be stuck in Indiana. Good luck to you.

[jwhite75]

It ssound slike everything you have wanted minus the daughter and her beau. I definitely would negotiate with the first station. If they want you they will compromise. With electronics and technology, your daughter can keep close touch with her BF and if its meant to be it will be.

[TN_Mike]

Don't get me wrong guys, the daughters BF situation isn't making me hesitate at all. It's just something that will need to be dealt with when the time comes. She's 16 by the way.

[gunthorp]

Through thoughtfulness and prayer, the way will be opened to you and your family. Best of luck. You'll get into great shape via the move. (Spin Off)

[JOHNSMITH]

I'm sure she will be heartbroken, but in time, I am sure she will be fine. I'm sure this job and the move itself will be better for your family according to what you describe, so you're doing the best thing for the family as a whole. Your daughter will meet other boys, although that sort of thing is difficult to see when you're only 16.

Jobs these days are very difficult to come by. I say snap it up if everything else is in place!

[Inspector71]

I really hope you can get back to Tennessee. I love this place

[canav844]

Well if you paid for the lifetime permit in IN..... You've got to do what you got to do to take care of your family, at 16 I'm sure your daughter can grasp that, between skype cell phones facebook and getting to drivers license age a relationship can span distance much easier that 10 years ago, and you can remind her there was something keeping her there before, teenagers tend to be adaptable. Moving is expensive and it's also exhausting.


To a certain extent the grass is always greener on the other side. I get to make the same type of decision this weekend in terms of pursing an interview with a place I just moved away from, they waited until the week after I moved to IN to post the job, I'd been watching for the opening every week for 2 years leading up to that. You've got to decide if there is stability in what makes you happy and how that weighs against the cost of changing what you've got setup now. There's a lot of intangibles and that's something only you and your family can decide on, in the meantime I suggest buying stock in Advil once the kids hit the double digits, I'm yet to see parents including my own not make it through the teen years without their share of headaches.

[Rock and Glock]

Mike, I am so pleased matters are taking this turn for you. You of all people deserve this opportunity. Look at the long run, and decide what is best for your family. You have some complicated considerations with the son, so really think about all of those alternatives.

We made a move the summer before our daughter's senior year in HS. We had some tears and such, but she came through it more confident, more open-minded, and less enthralled with "cliques". Ask her now, 14 years later, and she'd tell you it was in the top 20 events that had a positive impact on her life.

Best of luck, friend.