August 1st, 2006 07:31 PM
Watch out for that witness.
Lawyers should never ask a Southern Grandma a question if they aren't
prepared for the answer.
In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first
witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand.
He approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"
She responded, "Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since
you were a young boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me!
You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about
them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the
brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit
paper pusher. Yes, I know you."
The lawyer was stunned! Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the
room and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?"
She again replied, "Why, yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a
youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can't
build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the
worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three
different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him."
The defense attorney almost died. The judge asked both counselors to
approach the bench and, in a very quiet voice, said, "If either of you
idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll send you to the electric chair."
""If I shoot all the ammo I am carrying, I either won't need more or, more won't help me.""
August 1st, 2006 07:34 PM
ROFLMAO , in my experiance that is just too true on so many levels thanks for the laff .
Make sure you get full value out of today , Do something worthwhile, because what you do today will cost you one day off the rest of your life .
We only begin to understand folks after we stop and think .
Criminals are looking for victims, not opponents.
August 1st, 2006 09:10 PM
thanks. my first good laugh today. I needed it.
August 1st, 2006 09:12 PM
August 1st, 2006 10:47 PM
OK that was good
USN 78-82/USAF 82-93 Medically Retired
Desert Shield/Desert Storm
DAV Life Member
NRA Life Member
August 1st, 2006 11:32 PM
August 2nd, 2006 01:00 AM
That was good!
August 2nd, 2006 03:51 AM
This one has been around forever but it is always good for a laugh.
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