Watch out for that witness.

Watch out for that witness.

This is a discussion on Watch out for that witness. within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; Lawyers should never ask a Southern Grandma a question if they aren't prepared for the answer. In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called ...

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  1. #1
    Member Array amlevin's Avatar
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    Watch out for that witness.

    Lawyers should never ask a Southern Grandma a question if they aren't
    prepared for the answer.

    In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first
    witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand.

    He approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"

    She responded, "Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since
    you were a young boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me!
    You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about
    them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the
    brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit
    paper pusher. Yes, I know you."

    The lawyer was stunned! Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the
    room and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?"

    She again replied, "Why, yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a
    youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can't
    build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the
    worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three
    different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him."

    The defense attorney almost died. The judge asked both counselors to
    approach the bench and, in a very quiet voice, said, "If either of you
    idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll send you to the electric chair."
    ""If I shoot all the ammo I am carrying, I either won't need more or, more won't help me.""


  2. #2
    VIP Member Array Redneck Repairs's Avatar
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    ROFLMAO , in my experiance that is just too true on so many levels thanks for the laff .
    Make sure you get full value out of today , Do something worthwhile, because what you do today will cost you one day off the rest of your life .
    We only begin to understand folks after we stop and think .

    Criminals are looking for victims, not opponents.

  3. #3
    Member Array steve_db's Avatar
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    thanks. my first good laugh today. I needed it.

  4. #4
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    Very good!!!!!!

  5. #5
    VIP Member Array PatrioticRick's Avatar
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    OK that was good
    Μολὼν λαβέ

    USN 78-82/USAF 82-93 Medically Retired
    Desert Shield/Desert Storm
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  6. #6
    Member Array Slider's Avatar
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    funnieeeee and maybe not to far fetched

  7. #7
    Member Array Go Glock's Avatar
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    That was good!

  8. #8
    VIP Member Array Old Chief's Avatar
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    This one has been around forever but it is always good for a laugh.

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