More "Word-Play"

More "Word-Play"

This is a discussion on More "Word-Play" within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; Not sure of the source, but I just got these via email. Loved them! If this a repeat of something already posted, hopefully a Mod ...

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Thread: More "Word-Play"

  1. #1
    Senior Member Array madmike's Avatar
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    Dec 2005
    Spring Hill, FL

    Talking More "Word-Play"

    Not sure of the source, but I just got these via email. Loved them! If this a repeat of something already posted, hopefully a Mod will delete the post.


    Here are a few things to think about...

    Can you cry under water?

    How important does a person have to be
    before they are considered assassinated
    instead of just murdered?

    Why do you have to "put your two cents in"...
    but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"?
    Where's that extra penny going to?

    Once you're in heaven,
    do you get stuck wearing the clothes
    you were buried in for eternity?

    Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

    What disease did cured ham actually have?

    How is it that we put man on the moon
    before we figured out it would be a good idea
    to put wheels on luggage?

    Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby"
    when babies wake up like every two hours?

    If a deaf person has to go to court,
    is it still called a hearing?

    Why are you IN a movie,
    but you're ON TV?

    Why do people pay to go up tall buildings
    and then put money in binoculars
    to look at things on the ground?

    Why do doctors leave the room while you change?
    They're going to see you naked anyway.

    Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?

    Why do toasters always have a setting
    that burns the toast to a horrible crisp,
    which no decent human being would eat?

    If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares,
    why is there a stupid song about him?

    Can a hearse carrying a corpse
    drive in the carpool lane?

    If the professor on Gilligan's Island
    can make a radio out of a coconut,
    why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

    Why does Goofy stand erect
    while Pluto remains on all fours?
    They're both dogs!

    If Wiley E. Coyote had enough money
    to buy all that ACME crap,
    why didn't he just buy dinner?

    If corn oil is made from corn,
    and vegetable oil is made from vegetables,
    what is baby oil made from?

    If electricity comes from electrons,
    does morality come from morons?

    Do the Alphabet song and
    Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star
    have the same tune?

    Why did you just try singing
    the two songs above?

    Why do they call it an asteroid
    when it's outside the hemisphere,
    but call it a hemorrhoid
    when it's in your butt?

    Did you ever notice that
    when you blow in a dog's face,
    he gets mad at you,
    but when you take him for a car ride;
    he sticks his head out the window?

    Do you ever wonder
    why you gave me your
    e-mail address in the first place?

    Political Correctness has now "evolved" into Political Cowardice.

  2. #2
    VIP Member
    Array Team American's Avatar
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    Jan 2005
    LOL! All good ones

    "I surrounded 'em"- Alvin York

    "They're ain't many troubles that a man can't fix with seven hundred dollars and a thirty ought six"- Jeff Cooper

  3. #3
    VIP Member (Retired Staff) Array P95Carry's Avatar
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    Mar 2005
    South West PA
    I have seen them I am sure but so hard to remember that re-reading they all seem fresh again.

    Love em all
    Chris - P95
    NRA Certified Instructor & NRA Life Member.

    "To own a gun and assume that you are armed
    is like owning a piano and assuming that you are a musician!." - a portal for 2A links, articles and some videos.

  4. #4
    Member Array longtooth's Avatar
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    Jan 2006
    Lufkin, Texas
    A really good chuckle. Thank you.
    Carry 24-7 or guess right.
    NRA Life Member/TSRA Life Member
    Texas CHL Instructor.

  5. #5
    Distinguished Member Array BCurry1's Avatar
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    Jan 2006
    I really like these things!

  6. #6
    VIP Member
    Array CopperKnight's Avatar
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    Mar 2006
    Spokane area, WA
    That's funny stuff.
    eschew obfuscation

    The only thing that stops bad guys with guns is good guys with guns. SgtD

  7. #7
    VIP Member Array PatrioticRick's Avatar
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    Jan 2006
    Rigby, Idaho
    Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star. damn it's stuck in my head.
    Μολὼν λαβέ

    USN 78-82/USAF 82-93 Medically Retired
    Desert Shield/Desert Storm
    DAV Life Member
    NRA Life Member

  8. #8
    VIP Member
    Array srfl's Avatar
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    Sep 2005
    ...I always wondered about that wascally professor and his frigging inventions.
    USAF: Loving Our Obscene Amenities Since 1947

  9. #9
    Lead Moderator
    Array rstickle's Avatar
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    Dec 2004
    Laurel, MD
    I've seen some of those, but there were some new winners mixed in.

    EOD - Initial success or total failure

  10. #10
    VIP Member Array Old Chief's Avatar
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    Southwest Tennessee
    Thanks for my morning laugh.

  11. #11
    Senior Member Array Wayne's Avatar
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    Aug 2005
    Eugene, OR
    Do the Alphabet song and
    Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star
    have the same tune?

    Why did you just try singing
    the two songs above?
    Damn, busted


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