A cowboy named Bud

This is a discussion on A cowboy named Bud within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; A cowboy named Bud was overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous pasture in California when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced toward him out of ...

Results 1 to 6 of 6
Like Tree5Likes
  • 4 Post By OD*
  • 1 Post By paaiyan

Thread: A cowboy named Bud

  1. #1
    Moderator
    Array OD*'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Location
    Coopersville
    Posts
    10,757

    A cowboy named Bud

    A cowboy named Bud was overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous
    pasture in California when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced toward him
    out of a cloud of dust.

    The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, RayBan sunglasses
    and YSL tie, leaned out the window and asked the cowboy, "If I tell you
    exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, Will you give me
    a calf?"

    Bud looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully
    grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure, Why not?"

    The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects
    it to his Cingular RAZR V3 cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the
    Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite to get an exact fix on his
    location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the
    area in an ultra-high-resolution photo.

    The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and
    exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg , Germany ...

    Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image
    has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses an MS-SQL
    database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with email on his
    Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a response.

    Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech,
    miniaturized HP LaserJet printer, turns to the cowboy and says, "You
    have exactly 1,586 cows and calves."

    "That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves," says Bud..

    He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on with
    amusement as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.

    Then Bud says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what
    your business is, will you give me back my calf?"

    The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why
    not?"

    "You're a Congressman for the U.S. Government", says Bud..

    "Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"

    "No guessing required." answered the cowboy.. "You showed up here even
    though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already
    knew, to a question I never asked. You used millions of dollars worth of
    equipment trying to show me how much smarter than me you are; and
    you don't know a thing about how working people make a living - or about
    cows, for that matter. This is a herd of sheep. .....

    Now give me back my dog.
    "The pistol, learn it well, carry it always ..." ~ Jeff Cooper

    "Diligentia Vis Celeritas"

    "There is very little new, and the forgotten is constantly being rediscovered."
    ~ Tiger McKee

  2. Remove Ads

  3. #2
    Distinguished Member Array ArkhmAsylm's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    Location
    St. Paul, Minnesota
    Posts
    1,363
    -
    It was a long way to go, but worth it!
    "Historical examination of the right to bear arms, from English antecedents to the drafting of the Second Amendment, bears proof that the right to bear arms has consistently been, and should still be, construed as an individual right." -- U.S. District Judge Sam Cummings, Re: U.S. vs Emerson (1999)

  4. #3
    Senior Member Array CowboyColby's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Location
    COLORADO AMERICAN
    Posts
    715
    I didn't understand half the things in that joke that the government employee used lol

  5. #4
    VIP Member Array dukalmighty's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Location
    texas
    Posts
    15,177
    Cowboys herd Cattle...Sheepherders herd Sheep
    "Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country,"
    --Mayor Marion Barry, Washington , DC .

  6. #5
    VIP Member Array paaiyan's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    Location
    Oklahoma
    Posts
    2,071
    Quote Originally Posted by CowboyColby View Post
    I didn't understand half the things in that joke that the government employee used lol
    I understood them all... I'm a nerd.
    flagflyfish likes this.
    My blog

    WARNING: This post may contain material offensive to those who lack wit, humor, common sense and/or supporting factual or anecdotal evidence. All statements and assertions contained herein may be subject to literary devices not limited to: irony, metaphor, allusion and dripping sarcasm.

  7. #6
    Senior Member Array bbqgrill's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    Location
    In Delaware, East of the Mason Dixon Line.
    Posts
    797
    Quote Originally Posted by dukalmighty View Post
    Cowboys herd Cattle...Sheepherders herd Sheep
    You can tell the difference because cowboys wear boots and the sheepherds wear hip waders.
    "To believe that social reforms can eradicate evil altogether is to forget that evil is a protean creature, forever assuming a new shape when deprived of an old one." - SAT

    Never argue with an idiot - they'll bring you down to their level then beat you with experience.

Links

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  

Search tags for this page

a cowboy named bud
,

a cowboy named bud was overseeing his herd

,
a cowboy named bud was overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous pasture in california when suddenly a brand-new bmw a
,
a cowboy named bud was overseeing his herd in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand-new bmw advanced toward him out of
,
cowboy joke-in california overseeing his herd.
Click on a term to search for related topics.