Dealing with custody

This is a discussion on Dealing with custody within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; My wife and I have been separated since October. My current custody with my son is every other weekend from Friday evening until Monday morning ...

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  • My 7 days includes my regular weekend.

    1 14.29%
  • My regular weekend has no bearing on my 7 day period.

    6 85.71%
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Thread: Dealing with custody

  1. #1
    Distinguished Member Array Pro2A's Avatar
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    Question Dealing with custody

    My wife and I have been separated since October. My current custody with my son is every other weekend from Friday evening until Monday morning when I drop him off at daycare or his mothers. And then again every Wednesday overnight. In addition I get 2 non consecutive 7 day period with him each year for vacation time.

    I am not getting into the details of what has transpired, but in two weeks I am traveling. I have given his mother notice that I am taking my 7 days to travel and told her the dates. I have my son this weekend and then again two weekends from now starting the 12th of Aug - 15th of Aug. We are flying to California on the 13th and flying back on the 20th. I am taking him for 8 days.

    Just from the above scenario would you assume that my 7 day period would include my regular weekend visitation, or do you think it would begin on Monday after my regular weekend visitation. I don't see how it would be any different if I got him on my regular Friday-Mon... then picked him up on Tuesday for my 7 day period. None of this is clarified in the court order, it just says 7 consecutive days.

    How would you interpret it. And yes I will be contacting my lawyer, but it is Sunday.

    Edit: I'm not asking for legal advise, just how you would interpret this.

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  3. #2
    Senior Member Array tubadude's Avatar
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    I wouldn't count time you already get with him as part of the seven days. Then again, I am a single 21 year old with no knowledge of any of this type of workings.

    The best answer will be from your attorney.
    Last edited by tubadude; July 31st, 2011 at 08:35 PM.

  4. #3
    VIP Member Array wmhawth's Avatar
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    I don't quite understand the scenario but is it really something the 2 of you can't work out without contacting a lawyer??

  5. #4
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    If it says seven consecutive days that's what it means. The seven consecutive days may or may not include your normal weekend for a total of seven days. If you take him for eight then you are over your limit. I suggest planning you seven days away from one of your normal weekends.
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  6. #5
    Distinguished Member Array Pro2A's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by wmhawth View Post
    I don't quite understand the scenario but is it really something the 2 of you can't work out without contacting a lawyer??
    No because if it were up to her, I'd never see him. It's her way or the highway.

  7. #6
    Member Array MoMike's Avatar
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    With no disrespect intended to any of the replies posted, this is nothing you want answered here. This is something you surely don't want messed up with the ex.
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  8. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pro2A View Post
    No because if it were up to her, I'd never see him. It's her way or the highway.
    I didn't vote, because my vote doesn't matter...only the judge's vote will count.

    Then I guess you have a choice to make...is it going to be HER way, or the highway? At least you are being allowed to see him.
    If you start playing games with days, you are not going to win. I would rather lose a couple of battles...then end up losing the 'war'.OMO
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  9. #8
    Senior Member Array DaRedneck's Avatar
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    Is Mom pitching a fit about it? If not I'd carry on with your plan. If she is, then I'd talk to her to make sure she was okay with your plan. Tons of divorced parents work together to the benefit of the child regardless of what the court ordered. Hopefully she is not vindictive and out for revenge or trying to prove a point. Best of luck and hope it works out and y'all have a great vacation.
    "He who does not punish evil commands it to be done." - Leonardo da Vinci

  10. #9
    Distinguished Member Array Pro2A's Avatar
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    This really isn't answering my first question though...

  11. #10
    VIP Member Array dukalmighty's Avatar
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    I would think it should be added on and you would end up with 9 days in a row,I will never understand how people can be so rigid over visitation when it's obvious they don't have the kids best interest at heart,If I was dating somebody and they handled custody like this I would dump them on their ass.
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  12. #11
    Senior Member Array DaRedneck's Avatar
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    Well then the way I understand it is your 7 consecutive days have nothing to do with your weekends so you are good to go but that is just my opinion.
    "He who does not punish evil commands it to be done." - Leonardo da Vinci

  13. #12
    Member Array BubbaDX's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pro2A View Post
    I have given his mother notice that I am taking my 7 days to travel and told her the dates.
    I think the contents of this is key and is what the judge will base his decision on. Did you put your request in writing and did you make it clear the vacation would begin after your normal weekend visitation? But you also have to keep in mind, will you be able to get a judge to rule on this before you are wanting to take your son on vacation? If not, I would try to work it out with his mom or have him back when she is expecting him. I have been there so I do understand where you are coming from. But you may be stuck with the 7 days starting when you pick up your son, not the monday morning after your weekend visitation.

  14. #13
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    Well I posted once but didn't get any response so I'll post again. I work for the Government. I have never been involved with a custody agreement but I read many, many documents like this pertaining to my work. If your custody agreement say a "7 day period" it means 7 days. It does not mean 8 or 7 plus your regular weekends. They also added in the "non consecutive" wording lest a person think a two week vacation is possible.

    I have been involved in too many labor disputes to count. I've worked with grievances and arbitrators involving settlements between the National Air Traffic Controllers Association and the FAA. What I have learned is that any agreement or arbitrated settlement between two parties is in BLACK AND WHITE. If it says 7 days it means 7 days.

    My advice to you is to work it out with your wife some other way. Make her a deal and get her to agree with the one time extended time line. You might have to give up a weekend in order to get the extended time with your son. Work it out!

    If you take it to court you are going to pay a bunch of money to your lawyer to hear what I just told you. Mind you, there is always a chance you could win but that chance is very, very slim.

    ETA: The other option is to just do it and let her complain about it after the fact. Just do it and make her prove that you are wrong. This way you would get your time with your son and deal with the fall out after the fact. Many times it is easier to ask for forgiveness from the court than it is to get permission.
    Last edited by atctimmy; August 1st, 2011 at 12:58 AM.
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  15. #14
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    I deal with this stuff a lot. My take is your 7 days are just that-7 days. Notice the period after the phrase "7 days". Good call on getting clarification. You want to follow the schedule to the letter. Do not fall into the trap of making side deals with the ex, it will always come back to bite you.
    "Just blame Sixto"

  16. #15
    VIP Member Array rammerjammer's Avatar
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    I will respect your not wanting to share all the details of your current situation with your wife and son.

    Short and to the point.

    As a child of divorce,

    Do not, just what you think is right for your child, and your relationship with them.

    Do what is right to for the child and minimize any problems between you and his mother.

    I can't give any solid direction to your query as to what is right or wrong. Just make sure your son is not hurt in the process.
    "Was there no end to the conspiracy of irrational prejudice against Red Ryder and his peacemaker?"

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