More Jokes

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Thread: More Jokes

  1. #1
    Senior Member Array .45acp's Avatar
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    More Jokes

    1. Two guys were discussing popular family trends on sex, marriage, and
    values. Stu said, "I didn't sleep with my wife before we got married, did
    you?"
    Leroy replied, "I'm not sure, what was her maiden name.?"
    __________________________________________________ ________

    2. A little boy went up to his father and asked: "Dad, where did all of my
    intelligence come from?" The father replied. "Well son, you must have got it
    from your mother, because I still have mine"

    __________________________________________________ _____________

    3. "Mr. Clark, I have reviewed this case very carefully," the divorce court
    Judge said, "And I've decided to give your wife $775 a week," "That's very
    fair,
    your honour," the husband said. "And every now and then I'll try to send
    her
    a few bucks myself."

    __________________________________________________ _____________


    4. A doctor examined a woman,took the husband aside, and said,"I don't like
    the
    looks of your wife at all." "Me neither doc," said the husband. "But she's a
    great cook and really good with the kids."

    __________________________________________________ ______________


    5. An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a curse he has
    been
    living with for the last 40 years. The Wizard says, "Maybe, but you will have
    to
    tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on you. The old man
    says
    without hesitation, "I now pronounce you man and wife."
    __________________________________________________ ______




    8. Two Mexican detectives were investigating the murder of Juan Gonzalez.
    "How
    was he killed?" asked one detective. "With a golf gun," the other detective
    replied. "A golf gun? What is a golf gun?" "I don't know. But, it sure made a
    hole in Juan."
    __________________________________________________ ______

    9. The piloring of Martha Stewart continues. Her recipe for chicken
    casserole
    is quite efficient. First you boil the chicken in water and then you dump the
    stock.
    __________________________________________________ ______

    10. This guy has been sitting in a bar all night, staring at a woman wearing
    the tightest pants he's ever seen. Finally his curiosity gets the best of him,
    so he walks over and asks, "How do you get into those pants?" The young woman
    looks him over and replies, "Well,you could start by buying me a drink."
    __________________________________________________ ______

    11. Moe: "My wife got me to believe in religion." Joe: "Really?" Moe:
    "Yeah.
    Until I married her I didn't believe in hell."
    __________________________________________________ ______

    12. A man is recovering from surgery when a nurse asks him how he is
    feeling.
    "I'm O K. but I didn't like the four-letter-word the doctor used in surgery,"
    he
    answered. "What did he say?" asked the nurse.
    "OOPS!"

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  3. #2
    Senior Member Array Packman73's Avatar
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    LOL. I need to remember these.

  4. #3
    VIP Member Array Old Chief's Avatar
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    Good ones!

  5. #4
    VIP Member Array Bud White's Avatar
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    Very good

  6. #5
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    Funny. Wish I had more of a memory for one liners.
    eschew obfuscation

    The only thing that stops bad guys with guns is good guys with guns. SgtD

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