More Jokes

[.45acp]

1. Two guys were discussing popular family trends on sex, marriage, and
values. Stu said, "I didn't sleep with my wife before we got married, did
you?"
Leroy replied, "I'm not sure, what was her maiden name.?"
__________________________________________________ ________

2. A little boy went up to his father and asked: "Dad, where did all of my
intelligence come from?" The father replied. "Well son, you must have got it
from your mother, because I still have mine"

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3. "Mr. Clark, I have reviewed this case very carefully," the divorce court
Judge said, "And I've decided to give your wife $775 a week," "That's very
fair,
your honour," the husband said. "And every now and then I'll try to send
her
a few bucks myself."

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4. A doctor examined a woman,took the husband aside, and said,"I don't like
the
looks of your wife at all." "Me neither doc," said the husband. "But she's a
great cook and really good with the kids."

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5. An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a curse he has
been
living with for the last 40 years. The Wizard says, "Maybe, but you will have
to
tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on you. The old man
says
without hesitation, "I now pronounce you man and wife."
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8. Two Mexican detectives were investigating the murder of Juan Gonzalez.
"How
was he killed?" asked one detective. "With a golf gun," the other detective
replied. "A golf gun? What is a golf gun?" "I don't know. But, it sure made a
hole in Juan."
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9. The piloring of Martha Stewart continues. Her recipe for chicken
casserole
is quite efficient. First you boil the chicken in water and then you dump the
stock.
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10. This guy has been sitting in a bar all night, staring at a woman wearing
the tightest pants he's ever seen. Finally his curiosity gets the best of him,
so he walks over and asks, "How do you get into those pants?" The young woman
looks him over and replies, "Well,you could start by buying me a drink."
__________________________________________________ ______

11. Moe: "My wife got me to believe in religion." Joe: "Really?" Moe:
"Yeah.
Until I married her I didn't believe in hell."
__________________________________________________ ______

12. A man is recovering from surgery when a nurse asks him how he is
feeling.
"I'm O K. but I didn't like the four-letter-word the doctor used in surgery,"
he
answered. "What did he say?" asked the nurse.
"OOPS!"

[DefensiveCarry.com]

[Packman73]

LOL. I need to remember these.

[Old Chief]

Good ones!

[Bud White]

Very good

[CopperKnight]

Funny. Wish I had more of a memory for one liners.