The difference between the North and the South - clearly explained...at last

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Thread: The difference between the North and the South - clearly explained...at last

  1. #1
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    The difference between the North and the South - clearly explained...at last

    The difference between the North and the South - clearly explained...at last


    The North has Bloomingdale's , the South has Dollar General.

    The North has coffee houses, the South has Waffle Houses.

    The North has dating services, the South has family reunions.

    The North has switchblade knives, the South has .45's.

    The North has double last names, the South has double first names.

    The North has Indy car races, the South has stock car races.

    North has Cream of Wheat, the South has grits.

    The North has green salads, the South has collard greens.

    The North has lobsters, the South has crawfish.

    The North has the rust belt, the South has the Bible Belt.

    FOR NORTHERNERS MOVING SOUTH

    If you run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Four men in a four-wheel drive pickup truck with a tow chain will be along shortly. Don't try to help them, just stay out of their way. This is what they live for.

    Don't be surprised to find movie rentals and bait in the same store. Do NOT buy food at this store.

    Remember, 'Y'all' is singular, 'all y'all' is plural, and 'all y'all's' is plural possessive

    Get used to hearing 'You ain't from round here, are ya?'

    Save all manner of bacon grease. You will be instructed later on how to use it.

    Don't be worried at not understanding what people are saying. They can't understand you either.

    The first Southern statement to creep into a transplanted Northerner's vocabulary is the adjective 'big'ol,' truck or 'big'ol' boy. Most Northerners begin their Southern-influenced dialect this way. All of them are in denial about it.

    The proper pronunciation you learned in school is no longer proper.

    Be advised that 'He needed killin.' is a valid defense here.

    If you hear a Southerner exclaim, 'Hey, y'all watch this,' you should stay out of the way. These are likely to be the last words he'll ever say.

    If there is the prediction of the slightest chance of even the smallest accumulation of snow, your presence is required at the local grocery store. It doesn't matter whether you need anything or not. You just have to go there and buy bread and milk.

    Do not be surprised to find that 10-year olds own their own shotguns, they are proficient marksmen, and their mammas taught them how to aim.

    In the South, we have found that the best way to grow a lush green lawn is to pour gravel on it and call it a driveway.

    AND REMEMBER: If you do settle in the South and bear children, don't think we will accept them as Southerners. After all, if the cat had kittens in the oven, we ain't gonna call 'em biscuits.
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    LOL. 'So much truth in that. There's a can of bacon grease in my freezer as I type this.
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    LOL guilty as well. Although some of us were born in the wrong area to start. So glad to get the hell out of the north. I feel much more at home down south and fit in much better.
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    Distinguished Member Array Stubborn's Avatar
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    Bacon grease is the "bomb"...and I'll bet it's in a coffee can with a plastic lid on it, thats how mine is. I used to try to keep it in "cool-whip" bowls,
    but if it's too hot when you pour it in, it just melts the bowl. What a waste of a good "salad bowl"
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    Senior Member Array tubadude's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by babarock View Post
    FOR NORTHERNERS MOVING SOUTH

    If you run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Four men in a four-wheel drive pickup truck with a tow chain will be along shortly. Don't try to help them, just stay out of their way. This is what they live for.
    I'm from the North and I can relate to that.

    I loved Texas and Louisiana during the trips I've taken, but Pennsylvania is still a very nice place.

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    Cool whip bowls are my best salad bowls.
    Coffee cans have amazing uses (store bacon grease, nuts, bolts, drain the oil on your lawnmower, keep creatures you caught in, etc.) Almost as universal as bailing twine and duct tape
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    Quote Originally Posted by Maverick9110 View Post
    LOL guilty as well. Although some of us were born in the wrong area to start. So glad to get the hell out of the north. I feel much more at home down south and fit in much better.
    oh how true. took me 34 years to get here and i ain't going back.

  9. #8
    Senior Member Array Inspector71's Avatar
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    Growing up in the south I remember a term I heard years ago about people from the north. "They're like hemmoroids, they come down but they don't want to go back up."
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    Never could understand New York Citys thinkin. They told me I couldn't eat the squirrels in Central Park. All that land and ya caint use it.
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    Distinguished Member Array Stubborn's Avatar
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    If you fixed them some squirrel gravy and biscuits, and gave it a fancy French name...they'd love it.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Stubborn View Post
    If you fixed them some squirrel gravy and biscuits, and gave it a fancy French name...they'd love it.
    Ragu Treeratus, there, all done.
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    Quote Originally Posted by CowboyColby View Post
    .....Coffee cans have amazing uses (store bacon grease, nuts, bolts, drain the oil on your lawnmower, keep creatures you caught in, etc.) Almost as universal as bailing twine and duct tape
    I use a coffee can to store and transport duct tape bailing wire and twine. :-)
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    Took awhile, but I finally got the accent. Fad own beet awl.
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    If you come down here, don't, DON'T, tell us how it should be done, how you do it, etc. We won't change and you'll just get more frustrated.
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