Best "Out of Office" Automatic Email Replies

[mstarn]

Best "Out of Office" Automatic Email Replies

1. I am currently out at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to
get the position. Be prepared for my attitude.

2. You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of the
office. If I was in, chances are good you wouldn't have received anything
at all. You're welcome.

3. I will be unable to delete all the unread, worthless emails you send me
until I return from holiday on 4 April. Please be patient and your email
will be deleted in the order it was received.

4. Thank you for your email. Your credit card has been charged $5.99 for
the first ten words and $1.99 for each additional word in your message.

5. The email server is unable to verify your server connection and is
unable to deliver this message. Please restart your computer and try
sending again. (The beauty of this is that when you return, you can see how
many in-duh-viduals did this over and over).

6. Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuing system.
You are currently in 352nd place, and can expect to receive a reply in
approximately 19 weeks.

7. I've run away to join a different circus.

AND, FINALLY, THIS ONE TAKES THE CAKE:

8. I will be out of the office for the next 2 weeks for medical reasons.
When I return, please refer to me as 'Margaret' instead of 'Norman.'

[DefensiveCarry.com]

[Lumberjack98]

Great. I cut and pasted and sent around the office.

[Old Chief]

These were good!

[LenS]

I will be out of the office for the next 2 weeks for medical reasons.
When I return, please refer to me as 'Margaret' instead of 'Norman.'

Damned if that didn't happen a few times in a company a long time ago!