A good Abbott and Costello

This is a discussion on A good Abbott and Costello within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; If you've seen their skits, put your mind into that frame of reference and read away. ------------------------------------------------------ Abbott and Costello Buy a Computer If Bud ...

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Thread: A good Abbott and Costello

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    A good Abbott and Costello

    If you've seen their skits, put your mind into that frame of reference and read away.
    ------------------------------------------------------
    Abbott and Costello Buy a Computer

    If Bud Abbott and Lou Costello were alive today, their infamous sketch, "Who's on first?" might have turned out something like this:

    COSTELLO CALLS TO BUY A COMPUTER FROM ABBOTT

    ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?

    COSTELLO: Thanks. I'm setting up an office in my den and I'm thinking about buying a computer.

    ABBOTT: Mac?

    COSTELLO: No, the name's Lou.

    ABBOTT: Your computer?

    COSTELLO: I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.

    ABBOTT: Mac?

    COSTELLO: I told you, my name's Lou.

    ABBOTT: What about Windows?

    COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?

    ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with Windows?

    COSTELLO: I don't know. What will I see when I look at the windows?

    ABBOTT: Wallpaper.

    COSTELLO: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.

    ABBOTT: Software for Windows?

    COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write proposals, track expenses and run my business. What do you have?

    ABBOTT: Office.

    COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?

    ABBOTT: I just did.

    COSTELLO: You just did what?

    ABBOTT: Recommend something.

    COSTELLO: You recommended something?

    ABBOTT: Yes.

    COSTELLO: For my office?

    ABBOTT: Yes.

    COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office?

    ABBOTT: Office.

    COSTELLO: Yes, for my office!

    ABBOTT: I recommend Office with Windows.

    COSTELLO: I already have an office with windows! OK, let's just say I'm sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need?

    ABBOTT: Word.

    COSTELLO: What word?

    ABBOTT: Word in Office.

    COSTELLO: The only word in office is office.

    ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.

    COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows?

    ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click the blue "W".

    COSTELLO: I'm going to click your blue "w" if you don't start with some straight answers! OK, forget that. Can I watch movies on the Internet?

    ABBOTT: Yes, you want Real One.

    COSTELLO: Maybe a real one, maybe a cartoon. What I watch is none of your business. Just tell me what I need!

    ABBOTT: Real One.

    COSTELLO: If it's a long movie, I also want to watch reels 2, 3 and 4. Can I watch them?

    ABBOTT: Of course.

    COSTELLO: Great! With what?

    ABBOTT: Real One.

    COSTELLO: OK, I'm at my computer and I want to watch a movie. What do I do?

    ABBOTT: You click the blue "1".

    COSTELLO: I click the blue one what?

    ABBOTT: The blue "1".

    COSTELLO: Is that different from the blue "w"?

    ABBOTT: The blue "1" is Real One and the blue "W" is Word.

    COSTELLO: What word?

    ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.

    COSTELLO: But there are three words in "office for windows"!

    ABBOTT: No, just one. But it's the most popular Word in the world.

    COSTELLO: It is?

    ABBOTT: Yes, but to be fair, there aren't many other Words left. It pretty much wiped out all the other Words out there.

    COSTELLO: And that word is real one?

    ABBOTT: Real One has nothing to do with Word. Real One isn't even part of Office.

    COSTELLO: STOP! Don't start that again. What about financial bookkeeping? You have anything I can track my money with?

    ABBOTT: Money.

    COSTELLO: That's right. What do you have?

    ABBOTT: Money.

    COSTELLO: I need money to track my money?

    ABBOTT: It comes bundled with your computer.

    COSTELLO: What's bundled with my computer?

    ABBOTT: Money.

    COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer?

    ABBOTT: Yes. No extra charge.

    COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?

    ABBOTT: One copy.

    COSTELLO: Isn't it illegal to copy money?

    ABBOTT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.

    COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money?

    ABBOTT: Why not? THEY OWN IT!

    (A few days later)...

    ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. May I help you?

    COSTELLO: How do I turn my computer off?

    ABBOTT: Click on "START"...
    eschew obfuscation

    The only thing that stops bad guys with guns is good guys with guns. SgtD

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    Hahaha - that is fresh to me and - darned funny John LOL!

    I can well remember those guys and this has a definite ''feel'' to it
    Chris - P95
    NRA Certified Instructor & NRA Life Member.

    "To own a gun and assume that you are armed
    is like owning a piano and assuming that you are a musician!."


    http://www.rkba-2a.com/ - a portal for 2A links, articles and some videos.

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    VIP Member Array Old Chief's Avatar
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    It has the right flavor for Abbot and Costello.

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    Quote Originally Posted by CopperKnight
    (A few days later)...

    ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. May I help you?

    COSTELLO: How do I turn my computer off?

    ABBOTT: Click on "START"...
    As a Mac person I have to admit, I've wondered about the logic in that for years!!
    Rick

    EOD - Initial success or total failure

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    Senior Member Array sjones's Avatar
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    good one

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    Lol....

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    I just hope he is wearing his seat belt when he crashes.
    "The sword dose not cause the murder, and the maker of the sword dose not bear sin" Rabbi Solomon ben Isaac 11th century

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    Thank you
    "Hell of a thing, killin' a man. Take away all he's got and all he's ever gonna have."
    - William Munny (Clint Eastwood in the Unfrogivin)

    “The graveyards are full of indispensable men.” – Napoleon Bonaparte

    “My Idea of a fair fight is beating baby seals with a club”

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    Funny!

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    And so very true!

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