"Universal Laws"

"Universal Laws"

This is a discussion on "Universal Laws" within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; "Universal Laws"........I think I've experienced all of these multiple times, or at least it seems that way. Law of Mechanical Repair - After your hands ...

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Thread: "Universal Laws"

  1. #1
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    "Universal Laws"

    "Universal Laws"........I think I've experienced all of these multiple times, or at least it seems that way.



    Law of Mechanical Repair - After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee.



    Law of Gravity - Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.



    Law of Probability - The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act



    Law of Random Numbers - If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal and someone always answers.



    Law of the Alibi - If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.



    Variation Law - If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now (works every time).



    Law of the Bath - When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.



    Law of Close Encounters - The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.



    Law of the Result - When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.



    The Coffee Law - As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.



    Law of Physical Surfaces - The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor, are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet or rug.



    Wilson's Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy - As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.



    Doctors' Law - If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there you'll feel better. But don't make an appointment, and you'll stay sick.
    OD* likes this.
    Turn the election's in 2014 to a "2A Revolution". It will serve as a 1994 refresher not to "infringe" on our Second Amendment. We know who they are now.........SEND 'EM HOME. Our success in this will be proportional to how hard we work to make it happen.


  2. #2
    VIP Member Array Hiram25's Avatar
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    Yep, been there, done those!
    Hiram25
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    Retired DE Trooper, SA XD40 SC, S&W 2" Airweight
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    Very good.

    10 minutes ago, I was up to my elbows in deer blood, my face itched, my son wanted me to enter my passcode into his iTouch so he could download an app, the cell phone in my pocket was ringing, and my wife walked in wanting help with the groceries that were melting...
    __________________________________
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    ha, a good read, and so true.

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    This is awesome!

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    Wilson's Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy - As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.
    FACT!
    It is surely true that you can lead a horse to water but you can't make them drink. Nor can you make them grateful for your efforts.

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