Post By GunnyBunny
October 19th, 2011 10:34 AM
Paraprosdokian (You'll like these)
A Paraprosdokian sentence consists of two parts where the first is a figure of speech and the second an intriguing variation of the first. They're used typically for humorous or dramatic effect.
- Never argue with an idiot. He'll drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
- Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
- The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.
- If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong.
- We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.
- Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
- The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
- How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
- Dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand at the edge of a pool and throw fish.
- I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
- **** Women will never be equal to men till they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut and still think they're sexy.****
- A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
- You don't need a parachute to skydive, but you do need one to skydive again.
- The voices in my head may be fake, but they have good ideas!
- Hospitality is making your guests feel like they're at home, even if you wish they were.
- I scream the same way whether I'm about to be eaten by a shark or seaweed touches my foot.
- Some cause happiness wherever they go, others whenever they go.
- There's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can't get away.
- You're never too old to learn something stupid.
CCW permit holder for Idaho, Utah, Pennsylvania, Maine and New Hampshire. I can carry in your country but not my own.
October 19th, 2011 11:02 AM
Those would make for some great signature lines. I might have to steal one if we unseat our POTUS in 2012.
'Clinging to my guns and religion
October 19th, 2011 11:32 AM
Oh I love these. Here are a few more:
I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak
War does not determine who is right - only who is left.
To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
October 19th, 2011 11:52 AM
You can educate ignorance, you can't fix stupid
Retired DE Trooper, SA XD40 SC, S&W 2" Airweight
dukalmighty & Pure Kustom Black Ops Pro "Trooper" Holsters, DE CCDW and LEOSA Permits, Vietnam Vet 68-69 Pleiku
October 19th, 2011 12:45 PM
Dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand at the edge of a pool and throw fish.
It is surely true that you can lead a horse to water but you can't make them drink. Nor can you make them grateful for your efforts.
October 19th, 2011 01:31 PM
I like this one!
The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.
"A Smith & Wesson always beats 4 aces!"
The Man Prayer. "Im a man, I can change, if I have to.....I guess!" ~ Red Green
October 19th, 2011 04:09 PM
There's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can't get away.
"Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country,"
--Mayor Marion Barry, Washington , DC .
October 19th, 2011 09:54 PM
October 20th, 2011 06:57 AM
I refuse to admit I saw myself in a few of those!!!
Freedom doesn't come free. It is bought and paid for by the lives and blood of our men and women in uniform.
NRA Life Member
October 22nd, 2011 11:42 PM
Money cannot buy happiness but it sure as hell will finance the search.
A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.
If I said you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me.
October 23rd, 2011 07:55 AM
I always cry during sex...I think its the Pepper Spray.
It is pardonable to be defeated but never surprised.
2 Ruger alaskan .454s
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