Southen Grandma

This is a discussion on Southen Grandma within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; Another funny e-mail, Been around a couple of times, but still funny, Enjoy, on a fine TGIF Southern Grandma Lawyers should never ask a Southern ...

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Thread: Southen Grandma

  1. #1
    Distinguished Member Array 4my sons's Avatar
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    Southen Grandma

    Another funny e-mail, Been around a couple of times, but still funny,

    Enjoy, on a fine TGIF



    Southern Grandma
    Lawyers should never ask a Southern grandma a question if they aren't prepared for the answer. In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"

    She responded, "Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a young boy, and frankly, you've been a big
    disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you
    manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think
    you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you never
    will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you."

    The lawyer was stunned! Not knowing what else to do, he pointed
    across the room and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense
    attorney?" She again replied, "Why, yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley
    since he was a youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a
    drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to
    mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him." The defense attorney almost died.

    The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench and, in a very quiet voice, said, "If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll send you to the electric chair."
    "fundamental principle of American law that a government and its agents are under no general duty to provide public services, such as police protection, to any individual citizen." [Warren v. District of Columbia,(D.C. Ct. of Ap., 1981)]
    If I have to explain it, you wouldn't understand

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  3. #2
    VIP Member Array swiftyjuan's Avatar
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    I work with a bunch of lawyers; they are all getting this!

  4. #3
    Senior Member Array mark555's Avatar
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    Got to love grandma.
    "Hell of a thing, killin' a man. Take away all he's got and all he's ever gonna have."
    - William Munny (Clint Eastwood in the Unfrogivin)

    “The graveyards are full of indispensable men.” – Napoleon Bonaparte

    “My Idea of a fair fight is beating baby seals with a club”

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    VIP Member Array KenpoTex's Avatar
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    Nice!

    unfortunately, in small towns that's the way it is. If you don't want everyone knowing about it...don't do it.
    "Being a predator isn't always comfortable but the only other option is to be prey. That is not an acceptable option." ~Phil Messina

    If you carry in Condition 3, you have two empty chambers. One in the weapon...the other between your ears.

    Matt K.

  6. #5
    Distinguished Member Array dimmak's Avatar
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    got this from my aunt coupla weeks ago....
    "Ray Nagin is a colossal disappointment" - NRA/ILA Executive Director Chris W. Cox.


    "...be water, my friend."

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