Funny Things Police Officers Say - Page 2

Funny Things Police Officers Say

This is a discussion on Funny Things Police Officers Say within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; Originally Posted by noway2 I wouldn't want to try this, but a friend once ... got pulled over for speeding. The officer came up to ...

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  1. #16
    Member Array Bkrazy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by noway2 View Post
    I wouldn't want to try this, but a friend once ... got pulled over for speeding. The officer came up to her car and asked for license and registration. She played stupid, pretending to not understand, only speaking to him in her native dialect from Ethiopia. She kept shrugging her shoulders and holding up her empty hands in a "huh, what?" gesture, giving him quizzical looks, while talking in the foreign language. Finally, she said, "Ah, and handed him a magazine, acting all excited, like she finally understood what he wanted". She said you could see the line of red slowly creep up his face. Finally he threw up his hands, stormed off, got back in his car and took off. She said she got the inspiration after watching her cousin pull the same trick in MN.
    I wasnt going to reply, but after walking away from my computer I was still aggravated. This upsets me very much. If you come to America, you have an obligation to at least have a very minimal understanding of the language. When I moved to Germany recently, I learned the please and thank yous, hellos and goodbyes, as well as a few other words to help me along. If I was stopped by the Polizei, it would be in my best interest to try and figure out what they were saying or I would quickly find myself being beaten with their beater sticks and hauled off to jail. Shame on that Officer and shame on the other one in MN. Shame on your friend as well.
    Please take my posts with a grain of salt. I am frequently sleep deprived and always just on this side of "Krazy".

    When bad men combine, the good must associate; else they will fall one by one, an unpitied sacrifice in a contemptible struggle. Edmund Burke


  2. #17
    Distinguished Member Array noway2's Avatar
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    @Bkrazy: Didn't mean to upset you. I admit it wasn't a "nice" thing to do, but I do get a chuckle out of envisioning how it went down. I could just see her getting all excited over the magazine.

    She is actually a native born citizen (originally from Minnesota). Her parents and husband immigrated here. She fluently speaks four languages (unaccented English, Ethiopian, French, and Arabic) and has a degree in mechanical engineering. Her husband is the head of a math department at a university; not the type that one typically thinks of when discussing immigrants, especially the illegal kind. Her parents did get investigated / accused of being terrorists by the FBI once, though. They were installing a geothermal heating system in their house and the contractor ran the pipes through the yard and into the basement. What nobody knew was that there was a gas leak a few feet from the end of the pipe in the ground. Somehow it sucked the gas into the basement and blew the house up. The FBI accused them of trying to make bombs in the basement. Of course, when the gas leak was discovered as being the culprit, that ended.

  3. #18
    Member Array Bkrazy's Avatar
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    No need to defend. The officer is the one who really upsets me. How did the officer figure she got her license if she could not understand basic english? Whether it was Ethiopian, French, or Arabic; it was not Spanish and as much as I dislike that as well, it is the only other language I know that the DMV recognizes and provides tests in. Why would the Officer not pursue this? At least to see if she had a valid license? If I recall correctly NC used to be one of the easiest states to get false identification in. That is why we have an illegal problem (my home of record is NC and I will be retiring there one day). The Officer is turning his head. How many other Officers turn their heads?

    Sorry to turn this funny thread into a discussion. I digress. Please read my sig.....
    Please take my posts with a grain of salt. I am frequently sleep deprived and always just on this side of "Krazy".

    When bad men combine, the good must associate; else they will fall one by one, an unpitied sacrifice in a contemptible struggle. Edmund Burke

  4. #19
    VIP Member Array JoJoGunn's Avatar
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    Adding another "funny" thing LEO's say. I have a good friend in Florida who is a Police Officer. Went on a citizens ride with him once on a visit to his home.

    We went on a call of a potential suicide by hanging. Upon arriving at the apartment complex we entered the laundry/game room building. The Manager of the complex was there and my buddy asked "where the guy who hung himself" was.

    The manger pointed to a guy sitting down on a chair next to a doorway leading into the laundry room. My buddy looks at this guy and without hesitation said......


    "You don't look hung to me!"

    I lost it. I laugh everytime I tell that story.
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  5. #20
    VIP Member Array Guns and more's Avatar
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    Speeding lady driver, bats her eyes, shows some cleavage, and says, "But officer, I didn't think you gave tickets to beautiful women."

    LEO, hands her the ticket then adds, "I don't."
    Secret Spuk likes this.

  6. #21
    VIP Member Array paramedic70002's Avatar
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    Once I heard an LEO calling in a license plate check. "D as in David, M as in Mary, Q as in.... Cucumber...."
    Secret Spuk and jumpwing like this.
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  7. #22
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    VERY TRUE. I especially liked the ones that always placed their PBA or FOP Support stickers on the left corner of the rear window. When I approached the driver, he or she would point pack to the stickers and say, "Did you see my stickers?" I would say yes. (if it was a PBA sticker I would tell them I belonged to the FOP, if it was an FOP sticker I would say I belonged to the PBA) They never appreciated my sense of humor or the ticket!!!!

  8. #23
    VIP Member Array HKinNY's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by NRAMAN View Post
    VERY TRUE. I especially liked the ones that always placed their PBA or FOP Support stickers on the left corner of the rear window. When I approached the driver, he or she would point pack to the stickers and say, "Did you see my stickers?" I would say yes. (if it was a PBA sticker I would tell them I belonged to the FOP, if it was an FOP sticker I would say I belonged to the PBA) They never appreciated my sense of humor or the ticket!!!!
    My BIL NYPD pulls over female motorist. Ask for Lic,reg and Ins card. She hands him a non signed PBA card and says I know Pat Lynch. My BIL ask oh how do you know him? Great freinds. Do you where he works? No idea, but I know he is a Police officer I think Staten Island. Ok here is your ticket. You have PL call me and we will talk. She asks"Will PL have your number?" Oh, he will be able to find me.

    By the way he never called. Does anybody know who Pat Lynch is?

  9. #24
    VIP Member Array HKinNY's Avatar
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    I am also in the rental business, my uncle a sargent in the NYPD takes one of my cargo vans with commerical plates and lettered up National Car Rental on the side to use for a few hours . (Here in NY you can not drive on a parkway with commerical plates).

    So my uncle is driving on meadowbrook parkway and get pulled over by State trooper.

    Good day sir may I gt you dl,reg and ins.

    What did I do?

    Driving on a parkway with commerical plates.

    Not commerical, National

    No sir, you have commerical paltes.

    No I rented it from National car rental

    This goes on and on and the red line is rising on this guys far head.

    The ST asks him to step out of the van and walks him to the rear of the van.
    Points to the plate And Starts to spell out C O M M E R I C A L getting louder with each letter.

    Uncle walks to the side of the van and starts spelling out N A T I O N A L C A R R E N T A L.

    Sir, may I get your license!!!! at breaking point.

    I do not have a license, I have my id card would you like to see it.

    Ok. Uncle opens wallet and goes to hands him his NYPD police id card.

    ST walks back to car without saying another word and leaves.

  10. #25
    Member Array Metalman's Avatar
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    Coming back into the USA from Mexico I handed the Border Guard my passport. He then asked for my drivers license, which is unusual. I have a Michigan license with the Mackinac Bridge across the top. He say: "What's the name of that bridge?". I respond that it's the Mackinac. "No it isn't, it the golden gate and this license is forged." So, I went through the full blown drug dog search only to have a supervisor finally come over and realize the error. He then called the officer over to explain where the Mackinac Bridge is.

  11. #26
    Member Array CommonMan101's Avatar
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    My son is a rookie officer in a Dallas suburb. He says he can't do a thing about someone keeping their window up and placing their license and ins. card against the window facing him. He says he doesn't get to ask any questions that might lead to other charges - he can only deal with the infraction he witnessed and issue a ticket. Assuming it's a non-felonious stop in the first place.

    How is that different than pretending not to speak english? Are we obligated to interrogation? I'm guessing this differs by state.

  12. #27
    VIP Member Array Old School's Avatar
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    Cool

    Quote Originally Posted by CommonMan101 View Post
    My son is a rookie officer in a Dallas suburb. He says he can't do a thing about someone keeping their window up and placing their license and ins. card against the window facing him. He says he doesn't get to ask any questions that might lead to other charges - he can only deal with the infraction he witnessed and issue a ticket. Assuming it's a non-felonious stop in the first place.

    How is that different than pretending not to speak english? Are we obligated to interrogation? I'm guessing this differs by state.
    Are you sure of that sir?

    Not meaning to get off the original subject of the post but :

    This is the first time I have ever heard of not handing your license , registration and insurance card to the officer.

    So if I am going to issue a citation I have to stand outside the vehicle on the roadway and copy the information through the window.

    Nah. Not happening.

    Most often I would approch from the passenger side for my safety anyway.

    Here in Florida with the tinting of most vehicle windows I would often ask the driver (sometimes over the PA if need be) to lower the side windows so that I could better see into the vehicle day or night.

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  13. #28
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    Quote Originally Posted by Metalman View Post
    Coming back into the USA from Mexico I handed the Border Guard my passport. He then asked for my drivers license, which is unusual. I have a Michigan license with the Mackinac Bridge across the top. He say: "What's the name of that bridge?". I respond that it's the Mackinac. "No it isn't, it the golden gate and this license is forged." So, I went through the full blown drug dog search only to have a supervisor finally come over and realize the error. He then called the officer over to explain where the Mackinac Bridge is.
    Erica: You American?
    Col. Andy Tanner: Red-blooded.
    Erica: Yeah, well, what's the capital of Texas?
    Col. Andy Tanner: Austin.
    Erica: Wrong, commie! It's Houston!
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  14. #29
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    Section 8 welfare sucking leach; "I pay your salary!"
    Officer; "If thats the case, I not only pay your salary, but I pay for your rent, heat, and food."
    Bkrazy likes this.
    "Just blame Sixto"

  15. #30
    VIP Member Array joker1's Avatar
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    Help me out here people of New Jersey, but didn't they pass a law there that basically says if you get pulled over and forget the little bit of english that you picked up they have to wait for an interpreter before doing sobriety testing basically giving you time to sober up. I'm not sure if this is how the law reads, but it's how I interpret it.
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