Funny Things Police Officers Say - Page 3

Funny Things Police Officers Say

This is a discussion on Funny Things Police Officers Say within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; Old School: Are you sure of that sir? Yes sir. I am sure. My son had graduated from the academy just weeks before and this ...

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  1. #31
    Member Array CommonMan101's Avatar
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    Old School: Are you sure of that sir?

    Yes sir. I am sure.

    My son had graduated from the academy just weeks before and this was a fresh topic.

    Side note: In Texas we do not carry or hand over our registration - ever.

    I guess this would be better asked of a lawyer familiar with Texas law.

    I wasn't aware I had an obligation to talk to an officer outside of stated investigation purposes for a crime already committed or what looks like being committed. Just hand over my license, insurance and shut up. Do we have a right to remain silent without being under arrest?

    Back OT.. I never heard an officer say something funny at a stop but I knew a guy that told an officer he was waiting for a stop sign to turn green. Yeah, it was the 70's and he was one messed up guy.


  2. #32
    Senior Member Array kb2wji's Avatar
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    True story:

    Scene: Vehicle stopped for a traffic violation. Driver is a young-ish woman, fairly attractive, and quite proud of it. She may or may not have aggravated the LEO, who may or may not have been me.

    LEO: (who may or may not be me): Explained a citation, and asked for her signature...

    Driver: oh c'mon officer! I didnt think you guys wrote pretty girls tickets! (with the hair toss thrown in)

    LEO: we dont, sign here

  3. #33
    VIP Member Array Secret Spuk's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by HKinNY View Post
    My BIL NYPD pulls over female motorist. Ask for Lic,reg and Ins card. She hands him a non signed PBA card and says I know Pat Lynch. My BIL ask oh how do you know him? Great freinds. Do you where he works? No idea, but I know he is a Police officer I think Staten Island. Ok here is your ticket. You have PL call me and we will talk. She asks"Will PL have your number?" Oh, he will be able to find me.

    By the way he never called. Does anybody know who Pat Lynch is?
    IIRC he's a PBA guy...
    It's the PBA card with an officers shield # that carries whatever weight.

  4. #34
    VIP Member Array Secret Spuk's Avatar
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    I worked with a guy... Call him "O"... I was in the T.F. (Task force) and working a drug prone area in a great metropolitan city in the US. "O" was a pct. guy who was assigned to the same post. A call came up of a man sitting on a bench in the projects with a knife to his throat, threatening to kill himself. Although we werent responsible for answering any call's, my partner and I meander over... Did I mention that "O" wasnt the sharpest knife in the drawer? So anyway were talking to the guy in a relaxed way... trying to get him to put down the knife. This is summertime and by now we have a huge audience. But this guy insists he needs to be done with. Eventually "O" show's up. "O" pull's his piece, and points it at the sucide guy and screams. "DROP THE KNIFE OR I'LL BLOW YOUR HEAD OFF!!!" Us, the suicide guy, the crowd of about 30 went dead silent. For about three beats... then everyone busted out laughing even the suicide guy. ( who then put the knife down) I think to this day "O" dont get it...

  5. #35
    New Member Array ega29520's Avatar
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    New here but couldn't pass this one up... Heard this one a few years ago.

    A state trooper stops a guy on the interstate for speeding.

    The guy says, "but officer, I was just keeping up with the flow of traffic! Why are you stopping me and no one else?"

    The trooper says, "Sir, do you fish?"

    The guy says "Yes, sir, I do."

    The trooper says, "When you fish do you ever catch ALL of the fish in the pond?"

    Regards,
    Butch Armstrong

  6. #36
    VIP Member Array Gene83's Avatar
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    I was traveling through a small east Tennessee town when I came to a four-way stop. I stopped and to my right saw a police car approaching the intersection with lights flashing and siren blaring. As I waited for him to clear the intersection, he stopped at the stop sign, stuck his hand out the window and waved me through.

    "Dang, this is a friendly little town" I thought as I continued on my way.
    "The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come." ~ Confucius

  7. #37
    Senior Member Array Skygod's Avatar
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    Standing in line in an FFL.

    Three city police officers walk in and start admiring AR's and Nagants. One starts telling a story about an instructor pistol class he took and how the .40 Smith bullets where loaded "backwards" in the casing.

    To top things off he even admitted that he loaded those "backwards loaded bullets" and shot them for the class.

    He had never seen the "truncated cone" FMJ .40 Smith ammunition until I ask for a box and showed him.

    Epic fail. What a duech.
    U.S. Army retired
    18F4VW9

  8. #38
    VIP Member Array HKinNY's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Secret Spuk View Post
    IIRC he's a PBA guy...
    It's the PBA card with an officers shield # that carries whatever weight.
    Ding Ding you get the prize. Pat Lynch is the head of the PBA. Leo's here sign the back of the card and normally include cell # in case of any questions.

  9. #39
    VIP Member Array Hiram25's Avatar
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    Quota? Yes, we have a "quota", as soon as I'm done with you I can sit under a tree for the rest of the month!

    Quota? No, we don't have a "quota", they let me get as many as I want!
    Hiram25
    You can educate ignorance, you can't fix stupid
    Retired DE Trooper, SA XD40 SC, S&W 2" Airweight
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  10. #40
    VIP Member Array swiftyjuan's Avatar
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    When I was working in Saudi Arabia, I was stopped at a traffic inspection. The police were doing random stops to see if you had ID, driver's license, etc. I handed my ID card to the officer, and he studied it for 30 seconds, looking at me occasionally. Then he turned it over to the side with the picture, and realized he was holding it upside down. You do not have to be able to read to be a cop in S.A. He rapidly handed my card back and waived me through; I did NOT laugh for several yards.
    John
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    "Don't never take no shortcuts." Patty Reed, Donner Party

    Lifetime NRA member

  11. #41
    Senior Member Array Zsnake's Avatar
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    Entering Canada at Niagra Falls on a motorcycle with my little boy on the back. 1970's

    BIG MOUNTY.... Are you bringing any produce into Canada?
    Nope.
    Are you bringing in any Whiskey?
    Nope.
    Are you bringing in any cigarettes?
    Nope.
    Are you bringing in any firearms?
    Officer, would YOU go camping in the wilds of Canada without any way of protecting yourself?
    BIG MOUNTY....chuckeling....Laddie, you aren't supposed to be saying things like that. On your way with you.

    Now THAT don't happen everyday!!!!!

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