This is a discussion on I'm 44 years old today.......when did I get old? within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; Happy Birthday, Mike! My grandfather lived 96 years, and often said, "it's mind over matter. If you don't mind, then it doesn't matter." It all ...
Happy Birthday, Mike! My grandfather lived 96 years, and often said, "it's mind over matter. If you don't mind, then it doesn't matter." It all came full-circle for me when my grand-daughter walked up to my son and asked him, "Daddy, what was it like in THE OLDEN DAYS?"
And thank you for serving our country.
"A man's got to know his limitations." Inspector Harry Callahan
Happy Birthday ...is it ....or
Somewhere in between. I totally get your problem about time going quickly. I look at elderly people much differently now. They are just like us only older (duh) (Ten years ago I would have called them old people)
Happy birthday, man; but you have not yet begun to see "old." I'm in my eighth decade and I think I'm starting to get old. Check and see if your hair is thinning out on top and starting to poke out in your ears and your nose. See if it is a lot harder getting out of a chair than into one. do you notice that you are spenind more time in the bathroom using your equipment for watering the bowel than in the bedroom for fun? do you recall things like black and white television and "I love Lucy?" That's what happens when you get old. You are just middle aged and have Social Security, Mdicare and retirement to look forward to-- plenty of time to grow old...
'Guerir quelquefois, soulager souvent, consoler toujours.'
"Socialism never took root in America because the poor see themselves not as an exploited proletariat but as temporarily embarrassed millionaires." (John Steinbeck)
Good health actually just means dying at the slowest possible rate.
1. Everything hurts and what doesn't hurt doesn't work.
2. The gleam in your eyes is from the sun hitting your bifocals.
3. You feel like the morning after and you haven't been anywhere.
4. Your little black book contains only names that end in M.D.
5. Your children begin to look middle aged.
6. You finally reach the top of the ladder and find it leaning against the wrong wall.
7. Your mind makes contracts your body can't meet.
8. You look forward to a dull evening.
9. Your favorite part of the newspaper is "20 Years Ago Today."
10. You turn out the lights for economic rather than romantic reasons.
11. You sit in a rocking chair and can't get it going.
12. Your knees buckle, and your belt won't.
14. You're 17 around the neck, 42 around the waist, and 95 around the golf course.
15. Your back goes out more than you do.
17. Your Pacemaker makes the garage doors go up when you see a pretty girl.
18. The little old gray haired lady you helped across the street is your wife.
19. You sink your teeth into a steak, and they stay there.
20. You have too much room in the house and not enough in the medicine cabinet.
21. You get your exercise acting as a pallbearer for your friends who exercise.
22. You know all the answers, but nobody asks you the questions.
23. You're asleep, but others worry that you're dead.
24. You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room.
25. You buy a compass for the dash of your car.
26. You are proud of your lawn mower.
27. Your best friend is dating someone half his age...and isn't breaking any laws.
28. You call Olan Mills before they call you.
29. Your arms are almost too short to read the newspaper.
30. You sing along with the elevator music.
31. You would rather go to work than stay home sick.
32. You constantly talk about the price of gasoline.
33. You enjoy hearing about other people's operations.
34. You consider coffee one of the most important things in life.
35. You make an appointment to see the dentist.
36. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.
37. Neighbors borrow your tools.
38. People call at 9 p.m. and ask, "Did I wake you?"
39. You have a dream about prunes.
40. You answer a question with, "because I said so."
41. You send money to PBS.
42. The end of your tie doesn't come anywhere near the top of your pants.
43. You take a metal detector to the beach.
44. You wear black socks with sandals.
45. You know what the word "equity" means.
46. You can't remember the last time you lay on the floor to watch TV.
47. Your ears are hairier than your head.
48. You get into a heated argument about pension plans.
49. You got cable for the weather channel (sometimes referred to as "Old Folks MTV").
50. You have a party and the neighbors don't even realize it.
51. When you bend over, you look for something else to do while you're down there.
***************** BONUS *********************
You know you are suffering from "Empty Nest Syndrome" if.....
You have thrown out the better part of the last several one-gallon jugs of milk, but still can't bring yourself to buy the one-quart cartons.
You called the power company and asked them to check your meter, because the hot-water bill has been way too low.
You suddenly realize that you no longer need to include video late fees as part of the monthly budget.
You are shocked when you notice you can push the buttons on the car radio and KNOW what station you will get.
The bottle of shampoo has been in the shower so long you are starting to think it might be a mystical experience - kind of a loaves-and-fishes thing.
They've been gone three years and you still cook enough for your husband to have seconds and thirds. . .and fourths.
You still walk through the living room in the crouched position with your picking-up hand brushing the floor, even though it encounters no dirty socks.
You ask the garage to check why your car is costing so little to run.
Your cupboards overflow with uneaten school lunch treats.
You still hide your best make-up.
CCW permit holder for Idaho, Utah, Pennsylvania, Maine and New Hampshire. I can carry in your country but not my own.
Happy birthday, And party like it was 1999
My wife bought me a t-shirt that says, "Growing old is mandatory, but growing up is optional". It's a bit cliched, but I still like it.
“They who can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety, deserve neither liberty nor safety.” - Ben Franklin
Let's put it this way, if you think the last 20 went fast, watch out for the next 20.... they will go at the blink of an eye.
So, do all you can while you can.... and all the things you want to.... before you get to the point you can't do any of them anymore.
I lost several friends ... between 45 & 55, and you could never have guessed it based upon how good of shape they were, who smoked or didn't, etc. 16 of them to be exact. Amazing to me, how many people die between 45 - 55 and think they are going to hit their 60's or 70's, and never do.
Don't take squat for granted.
I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts. --- Will Rogers ---
Chief Justice John Roberts : "I don't see how you can read Heller and not take away from it the notion that the Second Amendment...was extremely important to the framers in their view of what liberty meant."
When I was 44 I broke my neck,now it's 9 years later and I still feel like I'm 80,but a young 80
"Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country,"
--Mayor Marion Barry, Washington , DC .
44? You haven't seen anything yet!!
EOD - Initial success or total failure
Happy Birthday and many more. I'm celebrating today (11/15) myself, it's my 56th.
Any day above ground is a good one !
NRA RSO & Certified Basic Pistol Instructor
Happy Birthday, and many more to you!
The warranty runs out at 30. That's when the "old" begins... lol
Chill there dude........I'm DIRECTLY behind ya!
Yeah, it was just a couple deployments ago I was lobbing T-LAMS at Sadam's Iraq........ Now I'm 'transistioning' (i.e....retiring) next month.
Exactly HOW did this 'growing-up' thing happen anyway???
"Just getting a concealed carry permit means you haven't commited a crime yet. CCP holders commit crimes." Daniel Vice, senior attorney for the Brady Campaign to Prevent Gun Violence, quoted on Fox & Friends, 8 Jul, 2008
"Sometimes when you're making gumbo, people just show up.", Leah Chase