"You May Live In Canada" according to Jeff Foxworthy

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Thread: "You May Live In Canada" according to Jeff Foxworthy

  1. #1
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    Smile "You May Live In Canada" according to Jeff Foxworthy

    Forget Rednecks...
    Here is what Jeff Foxworthy has to say about Canadians ; during a recent
    appearance at Ceaser's in Windsor:

    If your local Dairy Queen is closed from
    September through May,
    You may live in Canada .

    If someone in a Home Depot store offers you assistance and they don't work
    there,
    You may live in Canada ..

    If you've worn shorts and a parka at the same time,
    You may live in Canada .

    If you've had a lengthy telephone conversation
    With someone who dialed a wrong number,
    You may live in Canada .

    If 'Vacation' means going anywhere south of Detroit for the weekend,
    You may live in Canada .

    If you measure distance in hours,
    You may live in Canada .

    If you know several people who have hit a deer more than once,
    You may live in Canada .

    If you have switched from 'heat' to 'A/C' in the same day and back again,
    You may live in Canada .

    If you can drive 90 km/hr through two feet of snow
    during a raging blizzard without flinching,
    You may live in Canada .

    If you install security lights on your house and garage, But leave both
    unlocked,
    You may live in Canada .

    If you carry jumper cables in your car
    And your wife knows how to use them,
    You may live in Canada .

    If you design your kid's Halloween costume
    To fit over a snowsuit,
    You may live in Canada .

    If the speed limit on the highway is 80 km --
    You're going 95 and everybody is passing you,
    You may live in Canada .

    If driving is better in the winter
    Because the potholes are filled with snow,
    You may live in Canada .

    If you know all 4 seasons:
    Almost winter, winter, still winter, and road construction,
    You may live in Canada .

    (this is my favourite, because how true)

    If you have more miles
    On your snow blower than your car,
    You may live in Canada .

    If you find -2 degrees 'a little chilly',
    You may live in Canada .
    CCW permit holder for Idaho, Utah, Pennsylvania, Maine and New Hampshire. I can carry in your country but not my own.

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  3. #2
    VIP Member Array JoJoGunn's Avatar
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    Really good ones, eh?

    If you've had a lengthy telephone conversation
    With someone who dialed a wrong number,
    You may live in Canada .

    My son when he was just about 3 years old would play with an unplugged phone and pretend to call. One evening I heard him in a "conversation" and noticed the phone was not unplugged. I asked who he was talking to and he handed me the phone.

    Me : "Hello?"

    Answer : "Alo?!?

    Me : "Who is this?"

    Answer : (Thick French Accent) Mah name is Jean Pierre, and I am in Montreal, Quebec. I have been talking wit' chur leetle boy. You going to have big phone beel? No?"

    Me :" Yes, I probably will."

    Jean Pierre : "Well den, I think I better hang up den, eh?"

    Me : "Yes, I think that would be ok." "Goodbye"

    Jean : "Oui. Goodbye"

    My son had just started punching in numbers and got a guy in Montreal. It was hilarious.
    TheGiant likes this.
    "A Smith & Wesson always beats 4 aces!"

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    Distinguished Member Array bigmacque's Avatar
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    That is funny. What did it cost you?
    I'm in favor of gun control -- I think every citizen should have control of a gun.
    1 Thess. 5:16-18

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    VIP Member Array JoJoGunn's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bigmacque View Post
    That is funny. What did it cost you?
    It was in the '80's and I had A T & T Long Distance. I believe it was only like $10 or something like that. It was funny though and worth the extra dollars on the bill.
    "A Smith & Wesson always beats 4 aces!"

    The Man Prayer. "Im a man, I can change, if I have to.....I guess!" ~ Red Green

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    Senior Member Array The Fish's Avatar
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    Being a New Yorker originally and having lived in Winnipeg for 17 years,I can say "So very true" and funny.
    " Keep On Packin' On The Bimah"

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