Give uncle Benny a cigar for Christmas from me! :yup:
We've all had the one that got away. The fact that it continues to happen from the same girl shows some immaturity and probably low self esteem. You'll be far better off to be cordial but stop being the protector. You need to be happy just you or you won't ever be happy with someone. Once you figure out being ok with yourself then worry about a relationship. Probably won't even be interested in her anymore at that point. I second the gym for self esteem.
The writing is on the wall. Do you think her 38 yr. old boyfriend is sitting around his mom's house playing video games in his underwear?
She sounds like a super hot girl, she's shopping around for the best deal. Your not it.
Personally, I think we agree on far more things than not. I like to split hairs because it's good for MY thought processes. I respect everyone's opinion here, and appreciate the opportunity to thrash around our various persepctives.
Merry Christmas, everyone - even you Mr Kiddin' :smile:
MadMac is the man. The OP was painful to read. Your entire mindset has to change if you want to be with good looking women. Don't be the nice guy. Grow a pair.
Since I'm not getting paid for my "advice", it's simpler to just jump to the conclusion rather than go all Oprah-esque, and nibble around the edges of a problem.
You must first accept you will not be having sex with this woman.
This must be the bedrock foundation you use from this time onward.
No matter what you do for her, you will be doing nothing with or to her. Accept it, and move on.
Hope is a great thing, except when it becomes stagnant and corrosive to your mind.
She knows it on some level, and will use it. Maybe only when she has to...but she will use it.
And you will be the worse for it.
Best thing I can tell you...even if you aren't willing to cut her off, she needs to be, sexually, nothing more than an image to you.
Go have coffee with her or something if she calls. She wants to say thanks, say your welcome, and hang up when it's polite to do so.
If she decided to pursue you and something happens, let it shatter your assumptions and be all great & stuff...but you have no reason to pursue her.
Because you will not be having sex with her.
Well, Dr. Ruth, Dr. MadMac, Dr. Phil, Ophrah and Lee R. Ermey have all shared their thoughts. The GEICO Lizard IIRC. Even Uncle Benny. Dr. Lima too. Plus many others, wise and wiseacres. Even the Esteemed Barrister MitchellCT. All had valid and wise comments, some may have stung, but all in all, words of wisdom were spoken. I will now add mine, as a tax counselor:
You will never file a Joint Return with her.
Go work out, and let time works its magic, which it will, despite your concerns.
You're her anchor rock...complete with puppet string. Sounds like she just didn't want to get arrested for a dui. Smart decision...don't hold that against her. One thing I've never been judgmental about is if a friend "really" needs help in situation like that...Still might call her parents though!!! Talk to her or feel out her friend about how you really feel and let her know you are tired of being strung-along. BTDT... moved on. Some people are users of others, but they can only do this if you allow it yourself. You're a much better person than that. Look for the real person you need in your life (doubt you will find them playing video games) and get out-meet some friends for fun.
Some tough advice, I think what Lima and Speculator said fits this story most, its more of a confused state on where I stand with her, in my mind if we were friends we would still talk and hang out. However when she dosen't need something she avoids me like the plague. MadMac, there are no 24 hour gyms in my area, i work full time night shift, i could not sleep. Nothing wrong with a good video game every once in a while. Also, saving up for a house takes time and effort as well as financial planning. Most of my friends are doing the move out, move in game. They move out of mom's house, and in with a friend, then in a few months move back home, then a few months later move back out. I want to move out and stay out, so if it takes a little longer to be financially secure and able to do that, its fine. I have another year before the deadline I set for being in a house comes up, so we will see what this year entails. I was happy cutting ties with her, but she needs something and she calls. Ugh, gotta love women....lol