A Grasshopper Walks Into a Bar...

A Grasshopper Walks Into a Bar...

This is a discussion on A Grasshopper Walks Into a Bar... within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; and the bartender said, "Hey, we have a drink named after you!" The grasshopper replies, "You have a drink named Frank?" ret Yeah, it's dumb, ...

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  1. #1
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    A Grasshopper Walks Into a Bar...

    and the bartender said, "Hey, we have a drink named after you!"
    The grasshopper replies, "You have a drink named Frank?"

    ret

    Yeah, it's dumb, but I laughed the first time!


  2. #2
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    I have to follow that with this one - (prepare for a groan!)

    Sandwich goes into a bar and orders a drink - barman says -

    ''Sorry fella, we don't serve food in here''

    Now you may groan
    Chris - P95
    NRA Certified Instructor & NRA Life Member.

    "To own a gun and assume that you are armed
    is like owning a piano and assuming that you are a musician!."


    http://www.rkba-2a.com/ - a portal for 2A links, articles and some videos.

  3. #3
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    GROAN
    eschew obfuscation

    The only thing that stops bad guys with guns is good guys with guns. SgtD

  4. #4
    Senior Member Array Arkie's Avatar
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    Groan jokes,,, I love them.

    Two pieces of string walk into a bar and the bartender looks at them suspiciously. He says "Sorry, boys, we don't serve your kind here." So the pieces of string walk out again.


    They're sitting in the gutter outside and feeling really thirsty when one piece of string says "Hey! I've got an idea to get me into the bar."


    So he starts twisting and turning, wriggling this way and that, pulling out a few threads here and there. His mate's looking at him and thinks he's gone completely nuts.


    Then the piece of string walks back into the bar. The bartender looks at him a little suspiciously again and says "Here, you're not a bit of string, are you?"

    The piece of string replies "No, I'm a frayed knot."

  5. #5
    Distinguished Member Array Dakotaranger's Avatar
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    I don't care who you are that just funny right there
    "[T]he people are not to be disarmed of their weapons.
    They are left in full possession of them."

    Zacharia Johnson (speech in the Virginia Ratifying Convention,25 June 1778)"The best we can hope for concerning the people at large is that they be properly armed." ~Alexander Hamilton

  6. #6
    Member Array LTPhoon's Avatar
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    A guy and a dog walk into a bar.
    The bartender says "What'll yez have?"
    The guy says "If this dog can talk, wiill ya buy me a drink?"
    The bartender considers this and says "OK, you're on."
    The guy turns to the dog and says "What's on top of a building?"
    The dog says "Roof!"
    "What's the opposite of smooth?"
    "Ruff!"
    "Who was the greatest ball player in the world?"
    "Rooth!"
    The bartender says "Get outta here!" and throws them out. They're sitting there on the sidewalk and the dog turns to the guy and says "D'ya think I shoulda said DiMaggio?"

  7. #7
    Distinguished Member Array USPnTX's Avatar
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    I think I'll leave all the groan jokes to you guys
    "Do not fear those who disagree with you; fear those that do and are too cowardly to admit it" - Napoleon

  8. #8
    Senior Member Array GoodSamaritan's Avatar
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    Ok, I can't pass this one up.

    Two guys walk into a bar... the third one ducks.






    The door to the bar opens, and a Rabbi, a Priest, and a Televangelist, walk in. They are Immediately followed, by a pirate with a parrot in his shoulder, a guy with a pet monkey,
    a horse, a moose, a duck, a grasshopper and finally two pieces of string.

    The bartender just stares at them stunned for a moment, then looks around suspiciously, and asks...





    "What is this? some kind of a joke?"

  9. #9
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    A naked giraffe walks into the bar & sez:
    "Hey Everybody...The Highballs Are On Me!"

  10. #10
    VIP Member Array ELCruisr's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by QKShooter View Post
    A naked giraffe walks into the bar & sez:
    "Hey Everybody...The Highballs Are On Me!"
    AAAAUUUUUGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH.....................
    If you stand up and be counted, from time to time you may get yourself knocked down. But remember this: A man flattened by an opponent can get up again. A man flattened by conformity stays down for good. ~ Thomas J. Watson, Jr.

  11. #11
    VIP Member Array sixgun's Avatar
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    HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA Thems all funny I dont care who ya are dems funny right there. I think Ill just get another beer.

  12. #12
    New Member Array Parrotdog's Avatar
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    A guy walks into the bar with a large chunk of asphalt under his aorm and orders a drink for himself...and one for the road

  13. #13
    Senior Member Array tanksoldier's Avatar
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    Guy says to bartender "Bet you $500 I can stand on the bar and pee in a shot glass, without getting a drop anywhere else."

    Bartender says "Deal"

    Guy stands on the bar and proceeds to pee everywhere BUT the shot glass... on the bar, on the floor, even on the bartender.

    Bartender laughs and says "You owe me $500"

    Guy says "That's ok, I bet that guy over there $1000 that I could pee on you and you'd laugh about it"
    "I am a Soldier. I fight where I am told, and I win where I fight." GEN George S. Patton, Jr.

  14. #14
    Senior Member Array palmgopher's Avatar
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    love that joke tank!...lol

  15. #15
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    Hahaha - ''ashphalt'' - LOL
    Chris - P95
    NRA Certified Instructor & NRA Life Member.

    "To own a gun and assume that you are armed
    is like owning a piano and assuming that you are a musician!."


    http://www.rkba-2a.com/ - a portal for 2A links, articles and some videos.

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