Airborne Stories (MFF or Static Line)

This is a discussion on Airborne Stories (MFF or Static Line) within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; Thought this would be a good place for any airborne operation stories, good, bad, or funny. Tell us your experience and if MFF or static. ...

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Thread: Airborne Stories (MFF or Static Line)

  1. #1
    VIP Member Array suntzu's Avatar
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    Airborne Stories (MFF or Static Line)

    Thought this would be a good place for any airborne operation stories, good, bad, or funny. Tell us your experience and if MFF or static.
    Me: MFF JM (master Wings)
    Static JM (Master Wings)
    MFF:1200+ counting civilian
    Static: 412 (All MC-1 and MC-6 except jump school)

    What was to be my last jump turned into a disaster. MC-130 tailgate at 1000 AGL, MC-1 chutes, tail gate exit, Hollywood. We had 5 jumpers and were going out one per pass. The AF had 5 crews on board so they could get their annual cert for throwing folks out of planes. Winds on ground were gusting to 12 MPH. (I bet they were more LOL). All very experienced jumpers. The first four jumpers went on four passes and the told me that the winds were bad. I exit ACFT, good chute and look for wind sock. The thing looked like it was going around in circles. I normally do a stand up landing (yeah, I know, not suppose to do that) but this time I thought a good PLF was in order. I turned into what I thought was the wind and did a PLF. I got up to collapse my chute but wind knocked me down. Finally pulled a riser and chute collapse. My butt and right leg were on fire. I got dragged a bit so I thought it was like a rug burn. Then I saw cactus needle sticking out of my flight suit. I start pulling the needles out but too many. I get back to the DZSO and him and everybody else started to laugh. I had at least a hundered stickers in me. I unzip my flight suit and had to kneel in the truck the whole way back to base (about twenty minute). Then the stupid Air Force SP at the gate wanted to give me and the driver a ticket because I didn't have a seat belt on! I got dropped off at my house where my wife thought it was funny also. She took me to the ER and left to get our son. I sign in and after about ten minutes they say SGM.........come here. I felt like a turd, there were guys like from WWII there waiting longer than me and some had there O2 carts with them. Then they see a relatively young and in shape person go before them. Well, my blood pressure and HR had spiked because of all the toxins. They took out over 180 stickers. Needless to say I had to do one more jump. Did MFF at 12500 AGL for my last.

    Funny thing, about 17 years before that I was a crew member on an OV-1D Mohawk (Recon plane) before I change MOS's. My last flight in Korea the pilot was going to do a pitch out (go over the runway at 300 knots real low), well, I yelled BIRDS! We had a huge bird strike that hit the 3 inch vent on my side and bird guts got all over me and my O2 mask and helmet!

    Looking forward to hearing your stories. I have a bout three more.

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  3. #2
    Distinguished Member Array claude clay's Avatar
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    these stories go aways in explaining some of your posts

    im gonna guess you stay closer to the ground these days...
    Be aware, be deliberate in your actions and be accurate.
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    VIP Member Array suntzu's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by claude clay View Post
    these stories go aways in explaining some of your posts

    im gonna guess you stay closer to the ground these days...
    I am not sure how to take that

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    Distinguished Member Array claude clay's Avatar
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    ...kindly, of course
    Be aware, be deliberate in your actions and be accurate.
    -------------------
    Why do those elected to positions of power than work so hard
    to deny those same opportunities to the same people who empowered them

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    VIP Member Array suntzu's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by claude clay View Post
    ...kindly, of course
    Actually, when I first retired and moved to NH I was bored so I climbe communication towers for about a year. And as far as jumping, only hit my head bad once, 2 jump in jump school

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    Mostly equipment but some good bloopers. Great LAPES where the vehicle come off the ADS pallet and keeps on going.

    Military Air Drop Bloopers - YouTube
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    As a puddle pirate, the closest I ever came to a 'jump' was training as a rescue swimmer out of a HH-52. Uneventful, and sharks never jumped up in the air to get me...

    The best story I have is second hand; I worked with a guy out of the 101st, who somehow got his boot laces tangled with another guy's on the way out/down. They got free in time so that the chutes didn't tangle, but the event inspired a nice fist fight when they hit the ground. I always suspected that you airborne types weren't all there . Disclaimer: This was told over a beer - I claim no authenticity.
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    VIP Member Array suntzu's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by WHEC724 View Post
    As a puddle pirate, the closest I ever came to a 'jump' was training as a rescue swimmer out of a HH-52. Uneventful, and sharks never jumped up in the air to get me...

    The best story I have is second hand; I worked with a guy out of the 101st, who somehow got his boot laces tangled with another guy's on the way out/down. They got free in time so that the chutes didn't tangle, but the event inspired a nice fist fight when they hit the ground. I always suspected that you airborne types weren't all there . Disclaimer: This was told over a beer - I claim no authenticity.
    The sad thing is it is probably true. My wife was in the army for 5 years (crewmember on RC-12 and EH-60's) and we tell our son stories all the time. He says are they really true. And we are like Yup, don't need to embelish stupid

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    When I was in the USAF stationed in England I took private skydiving lessons,we started out jumping static line double L chutes,one fellow Security Policeman also skydived at the same club,Reilly screwed up one day and instead of holding into the wind got screwed up and was running with the wind,he left the airfield and crashed thru the roof of a 2 story house,lady went upstairs to see what the noise was,Reilly was hanging in her hallway in his harness,the Schools insurance covered the damages,but Reilly never lived that situation down.
    I observed another guy one day that we had about a 15 mph wind blowing,the double L chutes had a forward speed of 10 mph,if you were holding into a 15mph wind you were going backwards at 5mph,this guy was running with the wind so
    15 +10 = 25 mph,he landed about 200 yards out but I could here the sound of his jump boots when he initially made contact with the ground,after that it looked like a train wreck,he didn't break anything,but he had some pretty good bruises and grass burn
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    I had several unhappy jumps, but the worst one happened when I had to turn run with a 7-to-13 knot wind (translation: very, very windy) under a dash-one to avoid some heavy drops we followed in, and hit the ground so hard that my knees were driven into my chin, knocking me out on the first bounce. Witnesses said I bounced two more times before being drug about twenty meters, stopping only when my LT jumped on my canopy.

  12. #11
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    Clark Air Force base. Somewhere around 1979.

    Myself and a dozen or so others were scheduled for a few jumps. It'd had been several months, and we needed to stay sharp due to some potentially ugly scenarios going on elsewhere in the world.

    Some Airborne Aussies were there and we decided to all jump together. I remember they were a hard partying bunch.

    A C-131 rolled out and everyone got on the plane. The plane went over to the strip, reved up the engines to take off, throttled them back down, and cruised over the where we just came from. I don't know why, but we had to unload and wait around. And wait. And wait. And wait some more for another plane to pick up position.

    As it was most of the time I was in the Philippines, it was hot and it was humid. I was jumping with a T-35 most of use were laying on the tarmac just waiting around. Most of you know that to properly tension a chute, we could barely even stand up straight when we were strapped in. Because I got tired of feeling that I been stuffed in a sardine can, I reached down to loosed my crotch straps so at least I could stand up comfortably.

    One of the Aussies whipped out a HackySack and the next thing we knew we were all in a circle trying to keep that thing alive. I reached down to loosed my crotch straps even more so that I could get kick even higher. We were having a great time and the next thing I knew were on another plane and up in the air. I knew that I needed to tighten my straps up nice and snug like but I figured I'd wait till I went out the door.

    I got to taking to one of the Aussies and found out that he was familiar with the U.S and had been there many times. We got into a good conversation and it was time to go.

    I stood up, was about the 4th or 5th guy out and went sailing on down. It was all good until I pulled my chute. It became immediately evident that I forget to tighten up my crotch straps and they of course went where they needed to go. I felt a hot searing pain that made me grit my teeth and beg for mercy all the way down to the ground. In fact, I hurt so much that I literally hoisted myself off of the straps and basically hung on the toggles. Of course, doing that, I became unconcerned with flying my chute and I landed a good half mile off course. At that point, I was not sure I would ever be capably of having children, in fact, I wasn't even sure that my manhood was still intact, as it really felt like it had been ripped completely off. I was sweating profusely,and the pain was almost unbearable for the few minutes that it took me to hit the ground.

    I hit the ground...standing up. Yeah its a big no-no and yeah, you were supposed to roll it out but at that point I could care less. The first thing I did was to get out of harness and pull down my britches to asses the damage. Before I could even do that, I started to vomit. I don't mean a little bit either. I mean a power puke that nearly propelled my off the ground.
    So, I pull em down to have a look. My stuff was still there, the hair on my right side had been stripped off, and the right side of my family jewels was already the size of a grapefruit. It was ugly, it was scary and it hurt. As luck would have it, I gathered up my chute, got out of the harness and started stepping ever so tenderly when a jeep pulled up to me. One of the guys knew I was hurt and sent someone to get me. I still thank the Lord for small miracles.

    They took me to base hospital and the Doctor on duty and his staff had been alerted that there was an airborne injury. I got out of the jeep very slowly, and some of the prettiest nurses I ever say wanted to know what the problem was. Yeah, it was embarrassing but at that point I didn't worry about it. I got to an exam room and showed the Doc what the issue was. He laughed at me. "Let me guess" he said. " You didn't tighten your crotch straps enough did you?" "No Sir, apparently not" I said. He had seen plenty of injuries like that before and he told me of some of them while he was addressing my concerns. He actually said that mine was minor compared to some that he had seen, with things ripped and parts sticking out everywhere. He gave me some medicine for the swelling and some pain pills and told me to come back in the morning so he could have another look see.

    I lived through it and eventually had two kids, so it didn't damage things as it could have.

    Thats one of two other stories that I have. Sometimes I can believe that I actually lived through some of that stuff back in the day.
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    I'm not sure statute of limitations has past on mine, but I used to enjoy tagging along on cargo runs on mostly C130's. I got to be good pals with some crew members, so I'd hop on and go for rides...They were almost always short day trips here and there- until one day they were diverted to another airbase way far away from where I needed to be the next morning.Its a long drawn out story that I will not post here, but I was able to sneak and or sweet talk my way back on another AF flight (C5) that got be a little closer to where I was supposed to be, then picked up a bus that ran over night back to Bragg. I made it to formation with only a few minutes to spare. The entire day I thought I'd been caught and would be spending the rest of my days a prison in Kansas, but I was to tired to care anyway.

    Another "good" time was in the choppers when they decided to see who pays attention on how to stay in the cabin. I still do not know how nobody ever fell out, and I always felt sorry for the poor SOB who puked. I always had a lot of respect for the helo pilots; When I was in, there still were some Vietnam vets flying. I always appreciated them, and you sure could tell the difference with their experience level. They did the craziest stuff that would scare the crap out of normal people when goofing off, but when it counted they where the guys I wanted at the controls.
    "Just blame Sixto"

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    VIP Member Array suntzu's Avatar
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    I know I will never be cold again. January jump, temp about 10 degrees on ground. MC-6 chutes, jump from UH-1, 1300 AGL. I was on the first lift second pass. Normally the first lift sucks. You do a pass and JM throws a streamer, 2nd pass check where streamer went, 3rd pass only port side jumps (wind dummies LOL), 4th pass starboard side jumps. The whole time sitting on floor with legs hanging out. Wind chill must have been like -30 or more. Just had a flight suit on and thermal underwear. I was frozen solid by the time we were suppose to go. The the JM gave us winds..gust over 13 knots! 10 minute hold. The after ten minutes we were lined up to jump again. Another 10 minute hold! I was so cold I swore if we held one more time I was jumping. I would have blamed it on hypothermia. Finally winds were good. If you never did static line from a UH-1, you sit on the floor with legs hanging out and push off, just need to clear the skids. Well, I was so cold when they said GO I fell onto the skids and had to push my way off! flipped over, went through my risers,don't know how I didn't have a total malfunction or become a towed jumper. Well, that day I knew that in a span of 2-3 seconds I could pray and go through emergencey procedures at the same time. Landed on the runway but didn't care. 10 degrees on the ground never felt so warm. The chaplain was the jumper ahead of me so I thought maybe he put in a good word for me

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    Senior Member Array Herknav's Avatar
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    Some guys in our squadron were dropping guys on Malmsheim DZ near Stuttgart, Germany. If you've never been there, it's a postage stamp with about 7 seconds of Green Light time. The DZ called back and informed him that one jumper did not land on the drop zone, so the crew is called back to face a bad bomb board. The weird part is that it was the #5 (of 7) jumpers who missed the zone. None of us could figure it out because you would expect either the first (too early) or last (too late) jumper to be the problem.

    Turns out, 6 dudes were pretty heavy to begin with, and they were jumping with full combat loads. #5 was a 110# female Lt jumping hollywood. I think she might have landed in Austria.
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