This is a discussion on Childhood Punishments within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; Originally Posted by Cold Shot
Spanking kids can cause long-term harm: Canada study
I'll start off with I don't think beating a child is ...
February 15th, 2012 12:08 AM
I'll start off with I don't think beating a child is right nor should corporal punishment be done in the heat of anger.
Originally Posted by Cold Shot
That having been said, I've heard about the studies that talk about how spanking causes everything on earth except good behavior. Sorry don't buy it. Personal experience both receiving and in one case giving leads me to not agree. Add to that the big UN stamp and they loose a huge amount of credibility.
I really don't think a swat on the butt applied when deserved is going to "predict aggression consistently, it also predicts internalizing kinds of difficulties, like depression and substance use,".
I do wonder what these learned folks would suggest when the carrot or the carrot approach just doesn't get the job done?
NRA RSO & Certified Basic Pistol Instructor
February 15th, 2012 12:36 AM
I was raised in the days of corporal punishment at home and at school if you acted like most kids do today - which is probably why I didn't act like most kids and many "adults" do today. To be honest, I thank my parents and teachers for getting my attitude, manners, and respect for others adjusted early on instead of it coming later in life with considerably more dire consequences.
Usually got dad's belt across my butt a few times when I was kinda bad. He never spanked me when he was angry and waited until later for my punishment; and since the belt was always folded double, the "slapstick" sound effect made it sound a lot worse than it really was. Mom's weapon of choice was to send me out to cut my own willow switch, and if it wasn't good enough, I'd get switched all the way back out to cut a better one.
When I was really bad, I had to give the cat a bath in a 5-gallon bucket - pretty much like baptizing a running chainsaw - very effective.
If I did something totally despicable, I had to give the cat a bath the way the cat does it - wow, spit cat hair all day and some areas were really disgusting
February 15th, 2012 02:53 AM
Sadly my dad was allot like Lima's. When I got in trouble he beat me with a bed slat and he beat me bad. The only things I learned from his method of punishment to be smarter and meaner. By smarter I mean I learned not to get caught and what his hot buttons were so that I could avoid them.
Originally Posted by limatunes
As I got older (about my sophomore year) I stopped caring and just did what I wanted to do. When he would beat me with the board I just snarled right back at him and took it. He would say things like "Had enough?" and I'd just snarl back at him like an animal in a trap. Then he'd hit me some more until he got tired of it.
We had a few run ins with child protective services (or whatever they were called then) when teachers at school would see the marks and bruises that I had. For some reason, and to this day I don't really know why, I would lie like crazy to keep my dad from getting in trouble. They knew what was going on but I would stick to "the story" and my brother and I were never taken out of our home.
The down side of all this was that since crap roles down hill I went to school and took it out on other students. My grades also suffered and it probably cost me a scholarship for athletics. (<-- Being as mean and nasty as I was I excelled at wrestling but lacked in the rule following and homework departments.)
The real down side, though I didn't understand till years later, was that all of those beatings made me just like him. Deep down inside where most people have feelings all I have is rage. I am always fighting against the rage-aholic burried deep within me and I dare not let him loose in my home.
I live for others and I answer to God and sometimes to my wife too.
February 15th, 2012 05:27 AM
My Dad was Career USAF and I grew up on Military Bases all over the USA and a few Foreign Countries.I know what a miltary web pants belt feels like at about 2000 ft per second.I can honestly say the only times I ever got whipped,and then grounded were the times that we more than likely did something that got my Dad a visit to hi Squadron CO.And when your the Squadron NCOIC it's not looking good.
I remember one situation where I got caught by my Mom with a stolen item from the BX,when my Dad got home he took me back and made me give it back and apologize,My Dad hated liars and thiefs since they weren't trustworthy.On the drive home he went off on a screaming rant,then he said something that changed me forever,He yelled what the "F" is wrong with you.It wasn't so much the Question,but the fact I had never in my entire life ever heard him use the "F" word before or since that day.I never stole anything again and can understand my Dads frustrations with me.
"Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country,"
--Mayor Marion Barry, Washington , DC .
February 15th, 2012 08:07 AM
What ever a parent does with there child is there business to a point. I am sure we all agree putting a kids hand in boiling water is not good parenting. So there are limits to what a parent can do. Growing up I had done stuff like folks have said in this forum and they think it was a good thing they got hit (spanked if you like that word better). Well, I never got hit but got heck of a grounding. I got into mischief because my dad was working all the time and I was bored. My sister and I turned out OK. I never hit my son doing what others had done on this forum. He is turning out OK. Going to Wake Forest this fall. Growing up to be a nice young man.
I am just curious to why beating a kid (sorry, compassionate spanking) makes them less violent and less prone to getting into trouble when they are older. In a court of law they always bring up how the kid was abused (spanked) as a child and that is why they are like they are.
If it works for you that is cool but a lot of the responses I saw imply that getting hit was a fear thing and it motivated them to not getting caught. My 2 cents.
February 15th, 2012 08:49 AM
I caught 3 beating in my life can not remember the details but I am sure I deserved them all. One time I opened my mouth to my father and I went from one side of the room to the another without my feet touching the foot.
My father used to have us (my younger brother) sit on our knees outside on the pavement and write 100 times I will not fight with my brother. I will behave or sometihing to fit the bill. It was terrible on hot summer days. We finally smartened up and placed extra sheets of paper under the knee caps.
After making my kids write something a hundred times at the kitchen table they know when I ask "Do you want to write?" it is time to knock off whatever they are doing wrong.
February 15th, 2012 12:03 PM
In my opinion every kid is different just a like training a horse or dog, everyone is different and repsond differently to punishment. Some kids just knowing they let their parents down is punishment enough as they punish themselves in feeling like they aren't living up to parents expectations, (which must be reasonable by the way).
Other kids respond to grounding or losing their phone or game box or computer or tv. I was not one of these kids. We grew up with 3 channels on TV none of which I cared to watch, I was grounded one time and my parents realized that didn't serve any punishment towards me because I had nothing they could take away. I spent my time outdoors riding my bike, three wheeler, horses, shooting bb guns, bows, slingshots. Take all those away I'd still just wonder off to the creek with my dog and enjoy the day. I'd wittle things with a pocket Knife just explore. No matter where I was I could quitely entertain myself.
I did however respond to getting a spanking and hard work. In the summer time mustard weeds grow very well with very little rain. I recall my sisters and getting in trouble and getting a spanking then being told to go pull weeds. That to me was the ultimate punishment. But I also think it provided me with a strong work ethic and respect for my parents. (Until later when I thought I was grown up and tested my parents authority)
You must punish each kid differently as they may not be the same. Find out what works don't over do it and live and learn. Love your children and respect your parents.
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