What's the most redneck thing you've ever done?

[tactilame]

Or should I say, "y'all" have ever done? I'm kind of a mutt, my mother was from a small town in Texas, and my father is from a small town in Michigan. Regardless, I've had my fair share of good ol' fashioned country fun. I don't think I could pick one to beat them all, so I'll give you guys a couple examples of "redneck" things I've done. Just to be clear, I use the phrase "redneck" with love, and I think all of us have a little bit of redneck in us. Heck, I'll even go as far as to say it's an American Tradition. Look at Benjamin Franklin, he tied a key to a kite and flew it in a storm. If that's not redneck, I don't know what is.

1. Several years ago, I heard a noise in the garage around 4:30 AM. I opened the door and found a raccoon digging through the trash, and cursed at myself for forgetting to close the garage door. I went chasing after him, and before I knew it, there were 3 (yes THREE) other raccoons that came out of the trash. They started growling at me (not really a growl, but they certainly made some awful sounds to let me know they didn't like my presence). Shirtless, in just my boxers, I ran after them stomping and yelling into the street, and a woman walking her dog (lots of early risers in my old neighborhood) stopped walking and stared at me with her jaw dropped. I said "mornin'" and went back inside and back to bed.

2. On the 4th of July a few years back, me and my friends decided the best way to celebrate our great nation's birth would be with some old fashioned fireworks. But heavy duty fireworks were illegal, so we came up with an idea. We got out this big rusty metal pot, and spent two hours shaving off the dust of sparklers into the pot. We got it about 3/4 full, poured half a bottle of lighter fluid in there, and everyone was too afraid to light it, so I took the liberty. I lit a match, tossed it in there and ran like hell. The pot burned bright white pretty menacingly and quickly, and a piece of some sort of shrapnel caught me in the back of the knee. Still have a scar. But oh was it a sight!



So, what's the most redneck thing ya'll have ever done?

[DefensiveCarry.com]

[suntzu]

Married one

[FPW823]

I live in a trailer park with a closet safe full of guns....I win

[FPW823]

Married one

Wasn't your cousin was it?

[Yoda]

Jumped over the same train tracks as in the movie sugarland express. Did it with a pickup and several people in the bed.


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[msgt/ret]

We used to use an old piece of linoleum as a sled to slide down the hill. Spent many a night gigging suckers using a carbide lantern and frog gig. Even ran a trapline for a while mostly caught muskrats but sometimes got a mink.

[buckeye .45]

Drove a 1993 Mercury Villager mini-van in a demo derby.

[Badey]

Made a redneck fishing pole out of part of a roof truss, some rope, a 3 oz. lead sinker, and a turtle hook... never caught a blessed thing with it, but I'm sure I looked AWESOME casting it...

[IronMike]

When I was 16,I stood up a FINE young lady to go coon hunting!

[Mike1956]

I used to get hammered at the house before going to the tavern for the evening to cut drinking costs.

[suntzu]

Wasn't your cousin was it?

That would be a hill billy thing, not red neck

[Treadmillman]

A friend and I went all over town collecting old furniture people had put out to be picked up by the trash. We then took it, carpet and all and set up a living room in a coworkers front yard.

[Bubbiesdad]

[DMan]

Cooked my dinner in the engine compartment of my truck!

[DMan]

When I was 16,I stood up a FINE young lady to go coon hunting!

As a geek who has been stood up by several ladies, shame on you! May the wrath of all ghosts of the coons you hunted haunt you for this!