This is a discussion on What's the most redneck thing you've ever done? within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; Or should I say, "y'all" have ever done? I'm kind of a mutt, my mother was from a small town in Texas, and my father ...
Or should I say, "y'all" have ever done? I'm kind of a mutt, my mother was from a small town in Texas, and my father is from a small town in Michigan. Regardless, I've had my fair share of good ol' fashioned country fun. I don't think I could pick one to beat them all, so I'll give you guys a couple examples of "redneck" things I've done. Just to be clear, I use the phrase "redneck" with love, and I think all of us have a little bit of redneck in us. Heck, I'll even go as far as to say it's an American Tradition. Look at Benjamin Franklin, he tied a key to a kite and flew it in a storm. If that's not redneck, I don't know what is.
1. Several years ago, I heard a noise in the garage around 4:30 AM. I opened the door and found a raccoon digging through the trash, and cursed at myself for forgetting to close the garage door. I went chasing after him, and before I knew it, there were 3 (yes THREE) other raccoons that came out of the trash. They started growling at me (not really a growl, but they certainly made some awful sounds to let me know they didn't like my presence). Shirtless, in just my boxers, I ran after them stomping and yelling into the street, and a woman walking her dog (lots of early risers in my old neighborhood) stopped walking and stared at me with her jaw dropped. I said "mornin'" and went back inside and back to bed.
2. On the 4th of July a few years back, me and my friends decided the best way to celebrate our great nation's birth would be with some old fashioned fireworks. But heavy duty fireworks were illegal, so we came up with an idea. We got out this big rusty metal pot, and spent two hours shaving off the dust of sparklers into the pot. We got it about 3/4 full, poured half a bottle of lighter fluid in there, and everyone was too afraid to light it, so I took the liberty. I lit a match, tossed it in there and ran like hell. The pot burned bright white pretty menacingly and quickly, and a piece of some sort of shrapnel caught me in the back of the knee. Still have a scar. But oh was it a sight!
So, what's the most redneck thing ya'll have ever done?
"Shoot low boys, they're riding Shetland ponies." -Lewis Grizzard
I live in a trailer park with a closet safe full of guns....I win
DPMS A.R 15
Mossberg Maverick 88
Taurus Ultra-Lite .38
Jumped over the same train tracks as in the movie sugarland express. Did it with a pickup and several people in the bed.
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Yoda, I am, yes.
We used to use an old piece of linoleum as a sled to slide down the hill. Spent many a night gigging suckers using a carbide lantern and frog gig. Even ran a trapline for a while mostly caught muskrats but sometimes got a mink.
When you have to shoot, shoot. Don't talk.
"Don't forget, incoming fire has the right of way."
Hóka-héy! Crazy Horse
Drove a 1993 Mercury Villager mini-van in a demo derby.
Fortes Fortuna Juvat
Former, USMC 0311, OIF/OEF vet
NRA Pistol/Rifle/Shotgun/Reloading Instructor, RSO, Ohio CHL Instructor
Made a redneck fishing pole out of part of a roof truss, some rope, a 3 oz. lead sinker, and a turtle hook... never caught a blessed thing with it, but I'm sure I looked AWESOME casting it...
"... advice is a dangerous gift, even from the wise to the wise, and all courses may run ill." -J.R.R. Tolkien
When I was 16,I stood up a FINE young lady to go coon hunting!
It is pardonable to be defeated but never surprised.
2 Ruger alaskan .454s
I used to get hammered at the house before going to the tavern for the evening to cut drinking costs.
"Ideals are peaceful. History is violent."
Don Collier, Fury
A friend and I went all over town collecting old furniture people had put out to be picked up by the trash. We then took it, carpet and all and set up a living room in a coworkers front yard.
Always remember that others may hate you but those who hate you don't win unless you hate them. And then you destroy yourself.
Richard M Nixon
Owning a handgun doesn't make you armed any more than owning a guitar makes you a musician.”
Cooked my dinner in the engine compartment of my truck!
"Gun Free Zones" is where only criminals carry guns.