My Boss Called

This is a discussion on My Boss Called within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; My Boss phoned me today. He said, "Is everything okay at the office?" I said, "Yes, it's all under control. It's been a very busy ...

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 15 of 17
Like Tree16Likes

Thread: My Boss Called

  1. #1
    VIP Member Array dukalmighty's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Location
    texas
    Posts
    15,173

    My Boss Called

    My Boss phoned me today.

    He said, "Is everything okay at the office?"
    I said, "Yes, it's all under control. It's been a very busy day, I
    haven't stopped for a minute."

    "Can you do me a favour?" he asked.
    I said, "Of course, anything, what is it?"

    He said, "Hurry up & take your shot, I'm right behind you on the 7th
    hole."
    "Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country,"
    --Mayor Marion Barry, Washington , DC .

  2. Remove Ads

  3. #2
    VIP Member Array miklcolt45's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    @ Wits' End
    Posts
    2,800
    Okay, duk, that is funny!
    He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose. - Jim Elliott

    The world is a dangerous place to live; not because of the people who are evil, but because of the people who don't do anything about it.
    Albert Einstein

  4. #3
    Distinguished Member Array 4my son's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Location
    Out side of Richmond, VA
    Posts
    1,631
    LOL, a couple big Golf people here in the office, they will get a kick out of that one.
    "fundamental principle of American law that a government and its agents are under no general duty to provide public services, such as police protection, to any individual citizen." [Warren v. District of Columbia,(D.C. Ct. of Ap., 1981)]
    If I have to explain it, you wouldn't understand

  5. #4
    VIP Member Array suntzu's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Location
    TX/NH
    Posts
    5,797
    A know a guy that got caught by his boss saying he was just leaving a job site but was golfing. He had a company phone and told him to take a picture of himself sitting in the van and send it. BUSTED.

  6. #5
    Distinguished Member Array DontTreadOnI's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2011
    Location
    Ohio
    Posts
    1,442
    Ba dump shhhh!
    If ye love wealth better than liberty, the tranquility of servitude than the animated contest of freedom, go from us in peace. We ask not your counsels or arms. Crouch down and lick the hands which feed you. May your chains sit lightly upon you, and may posterity forget that you were our countrymen.

  7. #6
    VIP Member Array rammerjammer's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    Location
    Omaha, Nebraska
    Posts
    3,340
    What's funny about getting caught lying to you boss?
    "Was there no end to the conspiracy of irrational prejudice against Red Ryder and his peacemaker?"

    Revolvers, “more elegant weapons for a more civilized age.”

  8. #7
    Distinguished Member Array DontTreadOnI's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2011
    Location
    Ohio
    Posts
    1,442
    Off Topic & Humor Discussion
    Quote Originally Posted by rammerjammer View Post
    What's funny about getting caught lying to you boss?
    Hmm
    If ye love wealth better than liberty, the tranquility of servitude than the animated contest of freedom, go from us in peace. We ask not your counsels or arms. Crouch down and lick the hands which feed you. May your chains sit lightly upon you, and may posterity forget that you were our countrymen.

  9. #8
    VIP Member Array suntzu's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Location
    TX/NH
    Posts
    5,797
    Quote Originally Posted by rammerjammer View Post
    What's funny about getting caught lying to you boss?
    It is not funny when YOU get caught lying to your boss.
    But it is hilarious when SOMEONE else gets caught lying to their boss
    Crescentstar likes this.

  10. #9
    VIP Member Array goldshellback's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    OKC; by way of St. Mayberry, GA
    Posts
    4,750
    OOOWWwwooooo........c.r.i.n.g..........*face-palm*

    It wouldn't hurt as much reading that if it haden't happened to me before............
    "Just getting a concealed carry permit means you haven't commited a crime yet. CCP holders commit crimes." Daniel Vice, senior attorney for the Brady Campaign to Prevent Gun Violence, quoted on Fox & Friends, 8 Jul, 2008

    (Sometimes) "a fight avioded is a fight won." ... claude clay

  11. #10
    Ex Member Array Doodle's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    Location
    Tomball TX
    Posts
    948
    humor is lost once someone has to have the joke explained...
    Crescentstar and swiftyjuan like this.

  12. #11
    Member Array IronMike's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Location
    Eastern NC
    Posts
    276
    lots of that here.
    It is pardonable to be defeated but never surprised.
    2 Ruger alaskan .454s
    Ruger P95
    Rem 870
    Barrett .50BMG

  13. #12
    VIP Member
    Array oneshot's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    Location
    +42.893612,-082.710236 , Mi.
    Posts
    7,876
    The golfer had lost his ball and was a little annoyed with his caddy. "Why the hell didn't you watch where it went" he asked.

    "Well sir," said the boy, "it don't usually go anywhere, so when you did hit the ball, it sort of caught me by surprise!"
    If you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans.

    Washington didn't use his freedom of speech to defeat the British, He shot them!

    Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it whether it exists or not, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedy." -- Ernest Benn

  14. #13
    Administrator
    Array QKShooter's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2004
    Location
    Off Of The X
    Posts
    35,064
    Quote Originally Posted by rammerjammer View Post
    What's funny about getting caught lying to you boss?
    There are these things that have been around for a really long time in human history.
    They are called JOKES. They are intended to be taken lightly.
    When other people have this other thing called a "Sense Of Humor" ~ they read or hear a JOKE and they think it's kinda funny.
    Usually they laugh. Either to themselves or out loud.
    I hope explanation helps to clear things up a bit.

  15. #14
    Distinguished Member Array morintp's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Location
    Vermont
    Posts
    1,233
    Quote Originally Posted by Doodle View Post
    humor is lost once someone has to have the joke explained...
    A guy walks into a bar and orders a drink. He tells the bartender "I have a great Polish joke to share."

    The bartender replied "Hold it right there. Our bouncer is right behind you and he's Polish. He's 6'4" 300lbs with a nasty streak You have a couple of big guys sitting on either side of you and they're both Polish. Plus I'm Polish too and I'm not a small guy. Are you sure you still want to tell that joke?"

    The guy slumps his shoulders and puts his head down. "No. Not if I'll have to explain it 4 times."

    I've heard that as a Polish and as a blonde joke. But as a blonde joke, the guy is blind.
    64,999,987 firearms owners killed no one yesterday.

  16. #15
    Senior Member Array Okemo's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Location
    Vermont
    Posts
    531
    Quote Originally Posted by morintp View Post
    A guy walks into a bar and orders a drink. He tells the bartender "I have a great Polish joke to share."

    The bartender replied "Hold it right there. Our bouncer is right behind you and he's Polish. He's 6'4" 300lbs with a nasty streak You have a couple of big guys sitting on either side of you and they're both Polish. Plus I'm Polish too and I'm not a small guy. Are you sure you still want to tell that joke?"

    The guy slumps his shoulders and puts his head down. "No. Not if I'll have to explain it 4 times."

    I've heard that as a Polish and as a blonde joke. But as a blonde joke, the guy is blind.

    Ok....that's funny right there. Luckily I get jokes
    And you know I could have me a million more friends, and all I'd have to lose is my point of view. -- John Prine (A Good Time)

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast

Links

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  

Search tags for this page

my boss phoned me today. he said, is everything okay at the office?

Click on a term to search for related topics.