Politicians

Politicians

This is a discussion on Politicians within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; This came from a very good friend of mine, Thanks Buzz Politicians While walking down the street one day a US senator is tragically hit ...

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  1. #1
    Senior Member Array .45acp's Avatar
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    Politicians

    This came from a very good friend of mine, Thanks Buzz

    Politicians

    While walking down the street one day a US senator is tragically hit by a truck and dies. His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance. "Welcome to heaven," says St. Peter. "Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a high official around these parts, you see, so we're not sure what to do with you."

    "No problem, just let me in," says the Senator. "Well, I'd like to, but I have orders from higher up. What we'll do is have you spend one day in hell and one in heaven. Then you can choose where to spend eternity." "Really, I've made up my mind. I want to be in heaven," says the senator. "I'm sorry, but we have our rules."

    And with that, St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell. The doors open and he finds himself in the middle of a green golf course. In the distance is a clubhouse and standing in front of it are all his friends and other politicians who had worked with him.

    Everyone is very happy and in evening dress. They run to greet him, shake his hand, and reminisce about the good times they had while getting rich at the expense of the people. They play a friendly game of golf and then dine on lobster, caviar, and champagne.

    Also present is the devil, who really is a very friendly guy who has a good time dancing and telling jokes. They are having such a good time that before he realizes it, it is time to go. Everyone gives him a hearty farewell and waves while the elevator rises...

    The elevator goes up, up, up and the door reopens on heaven where St. Peter is waiting for him. "Now it's time to visit heaven." So, 24 hours pass with the senator joining a group of contented souls moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing. They have a good time and, before he realizes it, the 24 hours have gone by and St. Peter returns. "Well, then, you've spent a day in hell and another in heaven. Now choose your eternity."

    The senator reflects for a minute, then he answers: "Well, I would never have said it before, I mean heaven has been delightful, but I think I would be better off in hell." So St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell.

    Now the doors of the elevator open and he's in the middle of a barren land covered with waste and garbage. He sees all his friends, dressed in rags, picking up the trash and putting it in black bags as more trash falls from above. The devil comes over to him and puts his arm around his shoulder. "I don't understand," stammers the senator. "Yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and clubhouse, and we ate lobster and caviar, drank champagne, and danced and had a great time. Now there's just a wasteland full of garbage and my friends look miserable. What happened?"

    The devil looks at him, smiles, and says, "Yesterday we were campaigning...... Today you voted."


  2. #2
    Distinguished Member Array 4my sons's Avatar
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    Funny stuff,

    Aaaaaah Politicians,

    Can't live with them,

    Can't shoot them.
    "fundamental principle of American law that a government and its agents are under no general duty to provide public services, such as police protection, to any individual citizen." [Warren v. District of Columbia,(D.C. Ct. of Ap., 1981)]
    If I have to explain it, you wouldn't understand

  3. #3
    VIP Member Array ELCruisr's Avatar
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    Now THAT one hits close to the mark!
    If you stand up and be counted, from time to time you may get yourself knocked down. But remember this: A man flattened by an opponent can get up again. A man flattened by conformity stays down for good. ~ Thomas J. Watson, Jr.

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    The Truth?

    Sure enough! It is a sad state of affairs...they live high and mighty from our money...spend it like drunken sailors...don't ever have to worry about Social Security...you see...6 years and and the same $$$ rolls in for the rest of his or her life!
    To add insult to injury, they seldom have to live by any of the rules they spell out for the rest of us...a bunch of crooks!

    Hey, don't forget to vote for the candidate who promises the LEAST, then you won't be so disappointed!

    Not a bad deal...what's not to like?

    I don't MEAN to sound negative!

    ret
    The last Blood Moon Tetrad for this millennium starts in April 2014 and ends in September 2015...according to NASA.

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  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by retsupt99 View Post
    ..spend it like drunken sailors...don't ever have to worry about Social Security...

    ret

    Hey, even when I was drunk I didn't spend money like they do. They are more like crack addicts!

    This is a good reason there should be.............

    TERM LIMITS!!!!!!!!!!
    Quemadmodum gladius neminem occidit, occidentis telum est.-Seneca

    "If you carry a gun, people will call you paranoid. If I have a gun, what do I have to be paranoid about?" -Clint Smith

    "An unarmed man can only flee from evil, and evil is not overcome by fleeing from it." -Jeff Cooper

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    Ex Member Array one eyed fatman's Avatar
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    TERM LIMITS!!!!!!!!!! Yes!

  7. #7
    VIP Member Array ELCruisr's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by retsupt99 View Post
    Sure enough! It is a sad state of affairs...they live high and mighty from our money...spend it like drunken sailors...don't ever have to worry about Social Security...you see...6 years and and the same $$$ rolls in for the rest of his or her life!
    To add insult to injury, they seldom have to live by any of the rules they spell out for the rest of us...a bunch of crooks!

    Hey, don't forget to vote for the candidate who promises the LEAST, then you won't be so disappointed!

    Not a bad deal...what's not to like?

    I don't MEAN to sound negative!

    ret


    I always said I wanted to see some politicians run on a platform of "Well we've pretty well screwed everything up. So my policy is to do absolutely nothing!" You know, that sounds safer than alot of the rotten tripe I hear otherwise.

    You know that in Russia there is actually a "None of the above" selection on a ballot? If that is the majority then none of the current candidates can run again and the election has to be redone. In some local level elections this has happened several times. Wouldn't you love that choice here? Would sure terrify many a politician!
    If you stand up and be counted, from time to time you may get yourself knocked down. But remember this: A man flattened by an opponent can get up again. A man flattened by conformity stays down for good. ~ Thomas J. Watson, Jr.

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