Last trip to Costco

This is a discussion on Last trip to Costco within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; Yesterday I was at my local COSTCO buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet, Jake, the Wonder Dog and was ...

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    VIP Member Array dukalmighty's Avatar
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    Last trip to Costco

    Yesterday I was at my local COSTCO buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet, Jake, the Wonder Dog and was in the check-out line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

    What did she think I had, an elephant? So since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened
    in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

    I told her that it was essentially a Perfect Diet and that the way that it works is, to load your pants pockets with Purina Nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it
    works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.)

    Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care, because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff a poodle's ass and a car hit me.

    I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was Laughing so hard.

    Costco won't let me shop there anymore.
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    Distinguished Member Array ErnieNWillis's Avatar
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    Now thats funny. Would be even funnier if it were true!

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    VIP Member Array rammerjammer's Avatar
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    Costco has a no weapons policy so I stopped shopping there.
    "Was there no end to the conspiracy of irrational prejudice against Red Ryder and his peacemaker?"

    Revolvers, “more elegant weapons for a more civilized age.”

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    Hey Duke...

    Ya' made me laugh out loud!
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    Quote Originally Posted by ErnieNWillis View Post
    Now thats funny. Would be even funnier if it were true!
    And not all over the internet foe years.
    Rick

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    Distinguished Member Array noway2's Avatar
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    I haven't had a laugh that good in a long time. Thank you for sharing!

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    Distinguished Member Array Hoganbeg's Avatar
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    You rascal! You forgot to tell them it is good for you teeth and gums too.
    shooterX likes this.

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    Senior Member Array tubadude's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hoganbeg View Post
    You rascal! You forgot to tell them it is good for you teeth and gums too.
    And hair.

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    Distinguished Member Array Black Knight's Avatar
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    Could you imagine something like this being done on a show like "Candid Camera"? It would be hilarious to watch the reactions.

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    Senior Member Array jblives2ride's Avatar
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    heard it before and it's funnier everytime, thanks....
    Spade115 likes this.
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    Member Array JoeFriday's Avatar
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    That was worth an audible chuckle. Pretty funny. Thanks for sharing a laugh!

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    VIP Member Array Spirit51's Avatar
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    My husband has a sense of humor like that one. It can be funny, but at times he should give it a rest. Now I just hope he doesn't do this one at Walmart.
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    VIP Member Array Crowman's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ErnieNWillis View Post
    Now thats funny. Would be even funnier if it were true!
    Huh???? Really its not true??????
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    Distinguished Member Array tiwee's Avatar
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    Thanks for the good start to the day. I always look both ways before I sniff a poodles ass.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Crowman View Post
    Huh???? Really its not true??????
    Well it was dukalmighty after all
    ron8903 likes this.
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yesterday i was at my local costco buying a large bag of purina dog chow for my loyal pet jake the wonder dog, and was i

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