Garden Snakes Can Be Dangerous

Garden Snakes Can Be Dangerous

This is a discussion on Garden Snakes Can Be Dangerous within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; GARDEN SNAKES CAN BE DANGEROUS... Snakes also known as Garter Snakes (Thamnophissirtalis) can be dangerous. Yes, grass snakes, not rattlesnakes. Here's why. A couple in ...

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 15 of 16
Like Tree8Likes

Thread: Garden Snakes Can Be Dangerous

  1. #1
    VIP Member
    Array msgt/ret's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    North Carolina
    Posts
    7,546

    Garden Snakes Can Be Dangerous

    GARDEN SNAKES CAN BE DANGEROUS...

    Snakes also known as Garter Snakes (Thamnophissirtalis) can be dangerous. Yes, grass snakes, not rattlesnakes. Here's why.

    A couple in Sweetwater, Texas had a lot of potted plants. During a recent cold spell, the wife was bringing a lot of them indoors to protect them from a possible freeze.

    It turned out that a little green garden grass snake was hidden in one of the plants. When it had warmed up, it slithered out and the wife saw it go under the sofa.

    She let out a very loud scream.

    The husband (who was taking a shower) ran out into the living room naked to see what the problem was. She told him there was a snake under the sofa.

    He got down on the floor on his hands and knees to look for it. About that time the family dog came and cold-nosed him on the behind. He thought the snake had bitten him, so he screamed and fell over on the floor.

    His wife thought he had had a heart attack, so she covered him up, told him to lie still and called an ambulance.

    The attendants rushed in, would not listen to his protests, loaded him on the stretcher, and started carrying him out.

    About that time, the snake came out from under the sofa and the Emergency Medical Technician saw it and dropped his end of the stretcher. That's when the man broke his leg and why he is still in the hospital.

    The wife still had the problem of the snake in the house, so she called on a neighbor who volunteered to capture the snake. He armed himself with a rolled-up newspaper and began poking under the couch.. Soon he decided it was gone and told the woman, who sat down on the sofa in relief.

    But while relaxing, her hand dangled in between the cushions, where she felt the snake wriggling around. She screamed and fainted, the snake rushed back under the sofa.

    The neighbor man, seeing her lying there passed out, tried to use CPR to revive her.

    The neighbor's wife, who had just returned from shopping at the grocery store, saw her husband's mouth on the woman's mouth and slammed her husband in the back of the head with a bag of canned goods, knocking him out and cutting his scalp to a point where it needed stitches.

    The noise woke the woman from her dead faint and she saw her neighbor lying on the floor with his wife bending over him, so she assumed that the snake had bitten him. She went to the kitchen and got a small bottle of whiskey, and began pouring it down the man's throat.

    By now, the police had arrived.

    Breathe here...

    They saw the unconscious man, smelled the whiskey, and assumed that a drunken fight had occurred. They were about to arrest them all, when the women tried to explain how it all happened over a little garden snake!

    The police called an ambulance, which took away the neighbor and his sobbing wife.

    Now, the little snake again crawled out from under the sofa and one of the policemen drew his gun and fired at it. He missed the snake and hit the leg of the end table. The table fell over, the lamp on it shattered and, as the bulb broke, it started a fire in the drapes.

    The other policeman tried to beat out the flames, and fell through the window into the yard on top of the family dog who, startled, jumped out and raced into the street, where an oncoming car swerved to avoid it and smashed into the parked police car.

    Meanwhile, neighbors saw the burning drapes and called in the fire department. The firemen had started raising the fire ladder when they were halfway down the street. The rising ladder tore out the overhead wires, put out the power, and disconnected the telephones in a ten-square city block area (but they did get the house fire out).

    Time passed! Both men were discharged from the hospital, the house was repaired, the dog came home, the police acquired a new car and all was right with their world.

    A while later they were watching TV and the weatherman announced a cold snap for that night. The wife asked her husband if he thought they should bring in their plants for the night.

    That's when he shot her.
    When you have to shoot, shoot. Don't talk.
    "Don't forget, incoming fire has the right of way."


  2. #2
    Ex Member Array Doodle's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    Location
    Tomball TX
    Posts
    948
    Wow just wow

  3. #3
    VIP Member
    Array tacman605's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2010
    Location
    Arkansas/On the X in Afghanistan
    Posts
    3,053
    Thank you for that.
    "A first rate man with a third rate gun is far better than the other way around". The gun is a tool, you are the craftsman that makes it work. There are those who say "if I had to do it, I could" yet they never go out and train to do it. Don't let stupid be your mindset. Harryball 2013

  4. #4
    VIP Member Array shooterX's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    South Carolina
    Posts
    2,848
    That was good!
    "Don't start none, won't be none!"

  5. #5
    Guest Array Guest1's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Location
    home-astan(FINALLY)
    Posts
    1,125
    Great,but,somebody needs a hobby.

  6. #6
    VIP Member Array paaiyan's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    Location
    Oklahoma
    Posts
    2,101
    *facepalm*

    But I laughed.
    My blog

    WARNING: This post may contain material offensive to those who lack wit, humor, common sense and/or supporting factual or anecdotal evidence. All statements and assertions contained herein may be subject to literary devices not limited to: irony, metaphor, allusion and dripping sarcasm.

  7. #7
    Senior Member
    Array babarock's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2010
    Location
    Dacula, GA
    Posts
    576
    I remember from many years aho Richard Prior talking about how a snake will cause you to do things like run into trees and hurt yourself. Great story, we've had a couple get in the house over the years.
    GCO Member
    NRA Member
    NRA RSO & Certified Basic Pistol Instructor

  8. #8
    Ex Member Array Yoda's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    Location
    East Texas
    Posts
    2,782
    "I looked at my Mother in Law and turned the car into the ditch"

    "I don't like 'Ol Sneaky Snake" <some here will recognize this song.

  9. #9
    Senior Member Array txron's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Location
    Houston, TX
    Posts
    896
    Quote Originally Posted by babarock View Post
    I remember from many years aho Richard Prior talking about how a snake will cause you to do things like run into trees and hurt yourself. Great story, we've had a couple get in the house over the years.
    Had a snake in the garage two nights ago. My wife, 2 daughters and I were heading to dinner when I saw the our cat hunkered down and concentrating on something in the corner of the garage next to my car. Went to investigate and it turned out to be a 3 ft king snake (we have cotton mouths and copperheads, so caution is the rule in our house when in comes to snakes). When I told them it was a snake my wife ran straight from our garage out into the street (not looking both ways first) and into the yard of the house accross the street screaming the whole time. My 16 yrs old ran back into the house, but because she had flip flops on, she slipped on the tile and bang her knee real good. My 13 yrs old ran towards the cat (the cat got bit on the paw by a cotton mouth last year) to scoop her up, but the cat ran away and my daughter had too much momentem and face planted on the diveway scrapping her hands and knees. This all happened simultaneously while I stood there watching them. I scooped up the snake with a shovel and placed it behind our house near the bayou.

    Needless to say, dinner was delayed. Had to bandage up the 13 yrs old, ice down the 16 yrs old and my wife refused to go back into the garage to get in the car. We picked her up from the neighbors yard when we finally got under way.

    This is a true story.
    Cowbilly32 likes this.

  10. #10
    VIP Member
    Array oneshot's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    Location
    +42.893612,-082.710236 , Mi.
    Posts
    8,401
    Quote Originally Posted by paaiyan View Post
    *facepalm*

    But I laughed.
    ^^^Absolutely!!!!^^^^^^^^^^^^

    LMBO.
    If you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans.

    Washington didn't use his freedom of speech to defeat the British, He shot them!

    Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it whether it exists or not, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedy." -- Ernest Benn

  11. #11
    VIP Member Array Spirit51's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Location
    West Central Missouri
    Posts
    2,248
    Now I have stopped laughing enough to respond. I don't know which was funnier....the first one or txman's real story. Thanks for both. BTW hubby kept asking me what I was laughing at....I told him to read it his own self.
    A woman must not depend on protection by men. A woman must learn to protect herself.
    Susan B. Anthony
    A armed society is a polite society. Manners are good when one has to back it up with his life.
    Robert Heinlein

  12. #12
    New Member Array MommaBear's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Location
    CA
    Posts
    5
    Quote Originally Posted by txron View Post
    Had a snake in the garage two nights ago. My wife, 2 daughters and I were heading to dinner when I saw the our cat hunkered down and concentrating on something in the corner of the garage next to my car. Went to investigate and it turned out to be a 3 ft king snake (we have cotton mouths and copperheads, so caution is the rule in our house when in comes to snakes). When I told them it was a snake my wife ran straight from our garage out into the street (not looking both ways first) and into the yard of the house accross the street screaming the whole time. My 16 yrs old ran back into the house, but because she had flip flops on, she slipped on the tile and bang her knee real good. My 13 yrs old ran towards the cat (the cat got bit on the paw by a cotton mouth last year) to scoop her up, but the cat ran away and my daughter had too much momentem and face planted on the diveway scrapping her hands and knees. This all happened simultaneously while I stood there watching them. I scooped up the snake with a shovel and placed it behind our house near the bayou.

    Needless to say, dinner was delayed. Had to bandage up the 13 yrs old, ice down the 16 yrs old and my wife refused to go back into the garage to get in the car. We picked her up from the neighbors yard when we finally got under way.

    This is a true story.
    Nice! I read that to my 5 year old and he had a good laugh over it.

  13. #13
    VIP Member Array Spirit51's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Location
    West Central Missouri
    Posts
    2,248
    The neighbor's cat just jumped around my flower garden and got a small snake. He played it a while then ran home with it. I wonder what damage it will do at HIS house. Hope he comes back and repeats it. They don't bother me, but if my daughter knows about it...I will play heck getting her to come over and help me with yard work.
    A woman must not depend on protection by men. A woman must learn to protect herself.
    Susan B. Anthony
    A armed society is a polite society. Manners are good when one has to back it up with his life.
    Robert Heinlein

  14. #14
    VIP Member
    Array msgt/ret's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    North Carolina
    Posts
    7,546
    Quote Originally Posted by Yoda View Post
    "I looked at my Mother in Law and turned the car into the ditch"

    "I don't like 'Ol Sneaky Snake" <some here will recognize this song.
    Here it tis Sneaky snake-Tom T Hall. - YouTube
    When you have to shoot, shoot. Don't talk.
    "Don't forget, incoming fire has the right of way."

  15. #15
    VIP Member Array dukalmighty's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Location
    texas
    Posts
    15,179
    That was pretty good,somebody apparently had way toooo much time for thinking.
    The danger in my house isn't snakes..It's COCKROACHES,she will destroy stuff unassing the location where she saw it
    "Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country,"
    --Mayor Marion Barry, Washington , DC .

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast

Links

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  

Search tags for this page

are green garden snakes dangerous
,

garden snake nc

,

garden snakes can be dangerous

,
garden snakes dangerous
,

garden snakes in nc

,

garden snakes nc

,
garter snake nc
,

green garden snake

,
green garden snakes
,
green garden snakes can be dangerous
,
nc garden snakes
,
north carolina garden snakes
Click on a term to search for related topics.