Your Favourite Darwin Award Winning Story?

This is a discussion on Your Favourite Darwin Award Winning Story? within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; For those who aren't familiar with the Darwin Awards, from the site Darwin Awards. Homo sapiens sapiens decline, Neo Sapiens rise. April 2012 , they ...

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Thread: Your Favourite Darwin Award Winning Story?

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    Smile Your Favourite Darwin Award Winning Story?

    For those who aren't familiar with the Darwin Awards, from the site Darwin Awards. Homo sapiens sapiens decline, Neo Sapiens rise. April 2012 , they are "Named in honor of Charles Darwin, the father of evolution, the Darwin Awards commemorate those who improve our gene pool by removing themselves from it."

    There are many great stories, this is my favourite....................

    3 February 1990, Washington

    The following mind-boggling attempt at a crime spree appeared to be the robber's first, due to his lack of a previous record of violence, and his terminally stupid choices:

    1. His target was H&J Leather & Firearms. A gun shop.

    2. The shop was full of customers - firearms customers.

    3. To enter the shop, the robber had to step around a marked police patrol car parked at the front door.

    4. A uniformed officer was standing at the counter, having coffee before work.

    Upon seeing the officer, the would-be robber announced a holdup, and fired a few wild shots. The officer and a clerk promptly returned fire, covered by several customers who also drew their guns, thereby removing the confused criminal from the gene pool.

    No one else was hurt.

    1990 Darwin Award: Wrong Time, Wrong Place

    Any more out there anyone would like to share?
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    Ex Member Array RayBar's Avatar
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    Sounds like a suicide,cause,I don't think anyone can be that dumb.

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    Senior Member Array highvoltage's Avatar
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    Holds up to scrutiny:

    snopes.com: Gun Shop Robber

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    My fav is the guy who used a live round as a fuse and promptly "shot" himself.
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    My favorite was the guy that strapped a rocket on his car without thinking through the burn time and length of the road. A turn in the road was flanked with a rock wall and the guy became a grease spot on the wall.

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    Mine was the burglar, who was trying to break through a glass skylight in a building, at night. So, needing both hands, and a light, his maglite gets held between his teeth. Long story short, glass breaks, and burglar does a faceplant, installing maglight sized hole through the back of his head.
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    Quote Originally Posted by GunnyBunny View Post

    1. His target was H&J Leather & Firearms. A gun shop.
    I used to live just up the street from this shop. However, it was about 6 years after this shooting had taken place. I had never known about it until sometime after we had moved. But I totally remembered the shop (never went in though as I wan't into guns at that time).
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    I have one.

    Young man had gotten into another fight with his wife and she decided to leave him...for good. He went to his parents and decided to take their meds for a overdose attempt. He did this the last time she left...he took their Valium. Wife came running back and he got a good nights sleep. Nothing more. But THIS time he took his father's med that controlled his father's tachycardia (fast heart rate). He took the entire bottle. We tried to tell him his window of survival was quickly closing, he kept telling us that he had done this a year ago without any real problems...and his wife came back.
    We told him different meds do different things and this one was a real threat...but to no success. He kept saying he would be ok based on his last "game".

    The police, hospital, his parents (wife was no where to be found) or us (EMS) could not force him to go as long as he was conscious. After almost a hour...he lost consciousness and then applied consent kicked in, but too late.
    We did CPR all the way in to the hospital. They tried everything including a pacemaker....with no success. With the meds that he took, there was no way that heart would start beating again.

    Guy didn't mean to kill himself, but he did. He just did it to get his wife to feel sorry for him. A suicide attempt that wasn't meant to work....did. Put him in line for the Darwin Award.
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    The 'Dirty Belly' clan of Green County, PA. Circa '81 - '84. We called them that because one of the brother's personal hygiene was so bad he got a belly button infection.... Long story (back woods PA).

    That family tree had a few problems.

    I know that this is now accounted as Urban Legend, so be it. I know it is accounted to Carbon County, PA. So be it.

    All I can say, as a volunteer fireman at the time.... I visited the site of similar hapenstance. Though, not as dramatic. But there were 3 degree burns...... And rednecks!

    Below is the 'Go To'. Something similar happened in Green County, PA.... southwest of Graysville. Southeast of Wind Ridge/Jacktown, Pa.

    .................................................. ..........................
    URBAN LEGEND: RACCOON ROCKET
    1998 Urban Legend: Raccoon Rocket

    (1998) In rural Carbon County, Pennsylvania, a group of men were
    drinking beer and discharging firearms from the rear deck of a
    home owned by Irving Michaels, age 27. The men were firing at a
    raccoon that was wandering by, but the beer apparently impaired
    their aim. Despite an estimated 35 shots fired by the group, the
    animal escaped into a 3' diameter drainage pipe 100 feet away
    from Mr. Michaels' deck.

    Determined to terminate the animal, Mr. Michaels retrieved a can
    of gasoline and poured some down the pipe, intending to smoke the
    animal out. After several unsuccessful attempts to ignite the
    fuel, Michaels emptied the entire five-gallon fuel can down the
    pipe and tried to light it again, to no avail.

    Not one to admit defeat by wildlife, the determined Mr. Michaels
    proceeded to slide feet-first approximately 15 feet down the
    sloping pipe to toss the match. The subsequent rapidly-expanding
    fireball propelled Mr. Michaels back the way he had come, though
    at a much higher rate of speed. He exited the angled pipe "like
    a Polaris missile leaves a submarine," according to witness
    Joseph McFadden, 31.

    Mr. Michaels was launched directly over his own home, right over
    the heads of his astonished friends, onto his front lawn. In
    all, he traveled over 200 feet through the air. "There was a
    Doppler Effect to his scream as he flew over us," McFadden
    reported, "followed by a loud thud." Amazingly, he suffered only
    minor injuries.

    "It was actually pretty cool," Michaels said, "Like when they
    shoot someone out of a cannon at the circus. I'd do it again if
    I was sure I wouldn't get hurt."
    Last edited by ANGLICO; May 20th, 2012 at 02:51 AM.
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    Member Array paching's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ANGLICO View Post

    (1998) In rural Carbon County, Pennsylvania, a group of men were
    drinking beer and discharging firearms from the rear deck of a
    home owned by Irving Michaels, age 27. The men were firing at a
    raccoon that was wandering by, but the beer apparently impaired
    their aim. Despite an estimated 35 shots fired by the group, the
    animal escaped into a 3' diameter drainage pipe 100 feet away
    from Mr. Michaels' deck.

    Determined to terminate the animal, Mr. Michaels retrieved a can
    of gasoline and poured some down the pipe, intending to smoke the
    animal out. After several unsuccessful attempts to ignite the
    fuel, Michaels emptied the entire five-gallon fuel can down the
    pipe and tried to light it again, to no avail.

    Not one to admit defeat by wildlife, the determined Mr. Michaels
    proceeded to slide feet-first approximately 15 feet down the
    sloping pipe to toss the match. The subsequent rapidly-expanding
    fireball propelled Mr. Michaels back the way he had come, though
    at a much higher rate of speed. He exited the angled pipe "like
    a Polaris missile leaves a submarine," according to witness
    Joseph McFadden, 31.

    Mr. Michaels was launched directly over his own home, right over
    the heads of his astonished friends, onto his front lawn. In
    all, he traveled over 200 feet through the air. "There was a
    Doppler Effect to his scream as he flew over us," McFadden
    reported, "followed by a loud thud." Amazingly, he suffered only
    minor injuries.

    "It was actually pretty cool," Michaels said, "Like when they
    shoot someone out of a cannon at the circus. I'd do it again if
    I was sure I wouldn't get hurt."
    Sounds like a skit from Jeff Foxworth's redneck jokes
    Why?? Because at the last second, the Police are minutes away.

  13. #12
    Member Array Naufragia's Avatar
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    Here's a pretty good one:

    Man attempts to shoot at a squirrel scampering up his leg but instead shoots himself in the foot



    "The squirrel, meanwhile, managed to escape."

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    Distinguished Member Array ericb327's Avatar
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    Lady at the range shooting her brand new gun could not get it to fire. She looked down the barrel (finger on the trigger). Her palm was not engaging the safety. I came behind and grabbed the gun as she muzzeled me with it. I explained the problem to her and let her know she almost shot herself in the face and me also. I packed up my guns and told the range owner he should get a range officer.
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    VIP Member Array suntzu's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ericb327 View Post
    Lady at the range shooting her brand new gun could not get it to fire. She looked down the barrel (finger on the trigger). Her palm was not engaging the safety. I came behind and grabbed the gun as she muzzeled me with it. I explained the problem to her and let her know she almost shot herself in the face and me also. I packed up my guns and told the range owner he should get a range officer.
    Isn't that going against the spirit of Darwinism?

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    Quote Originally Posted by JoeFriday View Post
    My favorite was the guy that strapped a rocket on his car without thinking through the burn time and length of the road. A turn in the road was flanked with a rock wall and the guy became a grease spot on the wall.
    Gotta love thos JATO'S!
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