Any Funny Evaluations Out There?

Any Funny Evaluations Out There?

This is a discussion on Any Funny Evaluations Out There? within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; I am moving this month and was going through some old files and found copies of NCOER's I wrote awhile back. I only had to ...

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Thread: Any Funny Evaluations Out There?

  1. #1
    VIP Member Array suntzu's Avatar
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    Dec 2011

    Any Funny Evaluations Out There?

    I am moving this month and was going through some old files and found copies of NCOER's I wrote awhile back. I only had to write a handful of bad NCOER's while in. But here were a few of the bullet statements that I had used for the bad evals. Granted they were for 3 NCO's over 22 years:

    "ponders while others are in action" (I am not the first to use that one.)

    "non multi-faceted NCO with no oral, written and computer skills"

    "was not selected over more junior noncommissioned officers to fill squad leader position"

    "Finished two mile run with slowest time on record in Battalion- 51:22" We made her finish the run. She thought we would just fail her after 20 minutes and allow her to quit.

    "Does not support Army Equal Opportunity programs" (he called the platoon leader a big butted b word and n word)

    "knowledge, skills and abilities are less than juniors, peers and superiors"

    "this NCO is competent at the Corporal level of ability" (he was a SSG)

    "Failed to use sound judgement resulting Class D aircraft mishap" The idiot drove a truck onto the runway with out a radio and no comms with ATC. Caused a plane to skid off of runway.

  2. #2
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    Array Rock and Glock's Avatar
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    Nov 2005
    Colorado at 2,650'
    I recommended a staff member attend the Roadway School of Truck Driving in lieu of accounting training. Then I made sure they had additional options.

    "He went on two legs, wore clothes and was a human being, but nevertheless he was in reality a wolf of the Steppes. He had learned a good deal . . . and was a fairly clever fellow. What he had not learned, however, was this: to find contentment in himself and his own life. The cause of this apparently was that at the bottom of his heart he knew all the time (or thought he knew) that he was in reality not a man, but a wolf of the Steppes."

  3. #3
    VIP Member Array goldshellback's Avatar
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    May 2007
    Back home in Louisiana!
    I've written a couple before but they usually got 'edited' before going up to the department head or the 'old man' for the bottom line signature.

    I actually turned my book of bullets over to my relief just before I retired. Those are some good 'uns though sunny
    "Just getting a concealed carry permit means you haven't commited a crime yet. CCP holders commit crimes." Daniel Vice, senior attorney for the Brady Campaign to Prevent Gun Violence, quoted on Fox & Friends, 8 Jul, 2008

    (Sometimes) "a fight avioded is a fight won." ... claude clay

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