Doug Giles
Jun 10, 2012

He covers Zombie Rounds eariler in the article than what I posted below. Thought this was pretty funny.

.....Jumped over page 1 (stuff you already know) to get to the funny stuff of this sattire.........

Given the supernatural strength and hallucinations this new drug from hell spawns Iím steppiní it up a notch in what Iím carrying on my person and what Iím loaded with in my house.

For personal defense I think Iíll rock it old school with an S&W 29 .44 Magnum with a 6.5-inch barrel. Not the most concealable, but OMG is she gorgeous when drawn.

My load of choice? Well, Iíve seen over and over what Barnesí X-Bullets do to animals when hunting in the field, so I think Iíll chamber my S&W with Barnesí XPB FBs in the 225 gr. option. I doubt the criminal cranking on Bed, Bath & Beyondís best could take one of these to the vitals and continue to feel invincible. Indeed, they create quite the terminal wound channel; itís about the size of your fist (FYI zombies).

For home defense Iím going to stick with the ultimate zombie zapper, the 12-gauge pump riot gun stuffed to the hilt with three-inch yummy magnums. Man, oh man. Is this a zombie stopper, or what? I wonít tell you what I intend to do with these sweeties at the house Ö thatíll be just for me and the zombie dumb enough to cross the sacred threshold of my dwelling.

As for all these various self-defense scenarios my family might encounter, we will practice, practice, practice double tapping center mass at the target range at different angles and in different situations until we become zombie flawless. Yes, practice makes perfect, and I want my kin to get to a place where we donít care if someone is straight tripping on Herbal Essenceís finest; it will be hard for him to eat our cheek meat with a fist-sized wound channel through his heart and one through his lungs.

In Dougís world the innocent person should live and the attacking bath salt zombie should die.

Apocalypse Wow!

Read the Article at: My Guns and Loads to Dispatch Zombies Baking on Bath Salts - Doug Giles - Townhall Conservative Columnists - Page 2