Movie quotes too true to be funny

Movie quotes too true to be funny

This is a discussion on Movie quotes too true to be funny within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; Just to be clear, I don't take anything out of Hollyweird seriously, but these threads recently about limiting this food, or that sugary drink made ...

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Thread: Movie quotes too true to be funny

  1. #1
    Distinguished Member Array 4my sons's Avatar
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    Movie quotes too true to be funny

    Just to be clear, I don't take anything out of Hollyweird seriously, but these threads recently about limiting this food, or that sugary drink made me remember a scene in Demolition Man that I think sums up a lot of us here on this forum and highlights our disdain for the "Elitist - Let me save you from yourself because I am better" attitude.

    Edgar Friendly (played by Denis Leary) You see, according to Cocteau's plan, I'm the enemy, 'cause I like to think; I like to read. I'm into freedom of speech and freedom of choice. I'm the kind of guy who likes to sit in a greasy spoon and wonder, "Gee, should I have the T-bone steak or the jumbo rack of barbecued ribs with the side order of gravy fries?" I WANT high cholesterol. I wanna eat bacon and butter and BUCKETS of cheese, okay? I want to smoke a Cuban cigar the size of Cincinnati in the non-smoking section. I want to run through the streets naked with green Jell-o all over my body reading Playboy magazine. Why? Because I suddenly might feel the need to, okay, pal? I've SEEN the future. Do you know what it is? It's a 47-year-old virgin sitting around in his beige pajamas, drinking a banana-broccoli shake, singing "I'm an Oscar Meyer Wiener".
    I'm sure this was just intended to be funny, and build the character of the opposing forces in the story line, but it kind of rings with an air of truth about what is going on.

    Do you have a movie quote that was intended to be funny but made you think?

    Denis Leary and George Carlin (R.I.P.) IMHO are the two funniest comedians who can stand there and have your sides splitting open with laughter as they pick on you mercilessly.
    Last edited by 4my sons; June 14th, 2012 at 04:44 PM.
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    "fundamental principle of American law that a government and its agents are under no general duty to provide public services, such as police protection, to any individual citizen." [Warren v. District of Columbia,(D.C. Ct. of Ap., 1981)]
    If I have to explain it, you wouldn't understand


  2. #2
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    Array Xader's Avatar
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    That whole dang movie is filled with prophesy!

    Things predicted by Demolition Man:
    GPS navigation
    tablet videoconferencing
    Schwarzenegger in politics
    Scott Peterson

    Cracked.com just did an article on it (warning: crude humor)

  3. #3
    Senior Member Array Lotus222's Avatar
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    Lol, it is funny. ...And sad but true.

    "He who sacrifices freedom for security deserves neither."

    It seems our forefathers knew what was going to happen - or at least what people would attempt to do. They were living it, at the time. Demolition Man did a good job of making it futuristic.

    You're not allowed to even have large sodas in New York, now. I wonder what the people will let them take away tomorrow...

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    Member Array denver's Avatar
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    Oh My God!!!!! If the script stays true, all resturants will be Taco Bell. That fight will be right up there with me giving up my guns. I can just see it now, me in front of Popeye's with a chicken leg in one hand and my Ak in the other yelling you can have em when you pry my cold dead greasey hands off the barrel and bone.
    Spade115, l1a1, atctimmy and 3 others like this.
    If you find yourself in a fair fight, your tactics suck.

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    VIP Member Array suntzu's Avatar
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    Lori: No wonder you're having nightmares. You're always watching the news.

    From Total Recall. Lori talking to Quiad.
    l1a1 and ericb327 like this.

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    Member Array KWAG's Avatar
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    Woodrow Call: I hate rude behavior in a man. I won't tolerate it.
    No damn man kills me and lives.
    Nathan Bedford Forrest

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    Member Array eeeZnow's Avatar
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    Not so much a quote, but how about Idiocracy? The WHOLE movie.
    nedrgr21 likes this.
    "They have gun control in Cuba. They have universal health care in Cuba. So why do they want to come here?" ~ Paul Harvey

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    Liberty, Property, or Death - Jonathan Gardner's powder horn inscription 1776

    Tu ne cede malis, sed contra audentior ito.
    ("Do not give in to evil but proceed ever more boldly against it.")
    -Virgil, Aeneid, vi, 95

  9. #9
    VIP Member Array wmhawth's Avatar
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    Not a quote intended to be funny but I always liked John Wayne's:
    John Bernard Books (The Shootist):
    "I won't be wronged, I won't be insulted, and I won't be laid a hand on. I don't do these things to other people and I expect the same from them."

  10. #10
    VIP Member Array Spirit51's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by wmhawth View Post
    Not a quote intended to be funny but I always liked John Wayne's:
    John Bernard Books (The Shootist):
    "I won't be wronged, I won't be insulted, and I won't be laid a hand on. I don't do these things to other people and I expect the same from them."

    Funny? I thought those were words to live by.
    msgt/ret likes this.
    A woman must not depend on protection by men. A woman must learn to protect herself.
    Susan B. Anthony
    A armed society is a polite society. Manners are good when one has to back it up with his life.
    Robert Heinlein

  11. #11
    VIP Member Array suntzu's Avatar
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    The title from the movie Invictus comes from the fact that Mandela had the poem written on a scrap of paper on his prison cell while he was incarcerated. In the movie, Mandela gives the “Invictus” poem to his national rugby team’s captain Francois Pienaar before the start of the Rugby World Cup. This poem is written by the English poet William Ernest Henley. But that is not the quote I like. In fact the quote I like is never in the movie.

    In reality, Mandela provided Pienaar with an extract from Theodore Roosevelt’s “The Man in the Arena” speech from 1910 which is another really inspiring piece of text. The speech is notable for the passage -

    It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again; because there is not effort without error and shortcomings; but who does actually strive to do the deed; who knows the great enthusiasm, the great devotion, who spends himself in a worthy cause, who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement and who at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly. So that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat.

    This is in my top 5 favorite quotes. I read it to my hockey team when they were at the National's. Never saw a bunch 12 year olds look so serious.

    In hindsight I should have read it to the parents LOL
    atctimmy and l1a1 like this.

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    Distinguished Member Array claude clay's Avatar
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    i wasn't dead; i was in Buffalo

    de nero when he returns to nyc after 30 years in once upon a time in america
    ------------------
    help on the name of this movie...it was like one long spoof....hes being pushed up the stairs and the BG keeps poking him in the back with the gun,
    so he says "its a gun. ua shoot people with it; not try to push it through them"
    -----------------------------------
    Arthritis sucks big-big
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    Why do those elected to positions of power than work so hard
    to deny those same opportunities to the same people who empowered them

  13. #13
    Distinguished Member Array ericb327's Avatar
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    Chief Brody: I think we are gonna need a bigger boat!!! Jaws

    Doc Holliday: Why Ike, whatever do you mean? Maybe poker's just not your game Ike. I know! Let's have a spelling contest!

    Ron Burgundy: I'm proud of you fellas. You all kept your head on a swivel, and that's what you gotta do when you find yourself in a vicious cock fight.
    l1a1 likes this.
    For to win one hundred victories in one hundred battles is not the acme of skill. To subdue the enemy without fighting is the acme of skill. (Sun Tzu) The Art of War

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  14. #14
    Distinguished Member Array ericb327's Avatar
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    From Idiocracy.

    Narrator: The years passed, mankind became stupider at a frightening rate. Some had high hopes the genetic engineering would correct this trend in evolution, but sadly the greatest minds and resources where focused on conquering hair loss and prolonging erections.
    For to win one hundred victories in one hundred battles is not the acme of skill. To subdue the enemy without fighting is the acme of skill. (Sun Tzu) The Art of War

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    Senior Member Array Cold Shot's Avatar
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    dr. strangelove - the whole movie - best comedy ever
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