This is a discussion on How do you make a tissue dance? within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; Originally Posted by QKShooter OK I've told this one on DC before. A giraffe walks into a bar and sez.... Hey Everybody...The highballs are on ...
A fish swims into a concrete wall and says "dam"
A baby seal walks into a club
Bill: What to hear a dirty joke?
Fred: Sure do!!!!!
Bill: 3 pigs fell in the mud.....
"One of the greatest delusions in the world is the hope that the evils in this world are to be cured by legislation."
--Thomas B. Reed, American Attorney
Second Amendment -- Established December 15, 1791 and slowly eroded ever since What happened to "..... shall not be infringed."
A woman decides she wants to have a baby even if it's with a total stranger so she gets naked and sits on her front porch waiting for the first man to come along.She yells at the first guy who passes by.
hey you wanna have sex?
He says yes and starts toward her she asks so what are we going to name the baby?
He turns and walks away.Then she thinks okay I'll wait till after before I ask the next guy that.
Next guy comes she says wanna have sex he says yes they go inside and have sex when they are done she's says so what do you want to name the baby he gets up goes the the bathroom takes off a condom ties it in a knot and flushes it then says Harry Houdini jr. If he gets outta this.
"Death Overcomes All"
"All it takes for Evil to triumph is for Good men to stand by and do nothing"
Two peanuts were walking down the road one was "asalted".
I see a like button, but were is the "dislike" or more appropiatly the "roll my eyes" button.
"Gun Free Zones" is where only criminals carry guns.
A priest, a rabbi, and a duck all walk into a bar, the bartender says, "Hey, is this a joke?"
"That I cannot do."
"Give this to, uh, Clemenza. I want reliable people, people who aren't going to be carried away. After all we're not murderers in spite of what this undertaker thinks."
Certified Glock Armorer
NRA Life Member
Sorry,can't tell any of mine here.
It is pardonable to be defeated but never surprised.
2 Ruger alaskan .454s
This doctor says to his patient...
"I've got really bad news for you...and then some worse news."
Patient: What's the bad news?
Doctor: I'm afraid that you've only got 24 Hours to live.
Patient: OMG! What could be worse news than that???
Doctor: I forgot to call you yesterday.
Liberty Over Tyranny Μολὼν λαβέ
Seems our local police department was broken into last night. The thieves took nothing but the toilet seats and even worse, now the police have nothing to go on.
It's kind of like how some people have a sudden and insatiable desire to talk about vampires after the Twilight series became popular, except zombies are much less gay and more likely to exist one day
How do you datch a polar bear?
You kick him in the Ice Hole ; )
A Native Floridian = RARE
IT'S OUR RIGHTS>THEY WANT TO WRONG
How do you fix a broken pizza?
"I don't know who invented Yoga and I don't know who invented pants. But I do know that I'd like to shake the hand of the man who put those two ideas together."
What do you call a man with no arms or legs in a pool?
When you have to shoot, shoot. Don't talk.
"Don't forget, incoming fire has the right of way."