The most interesting pistolero in the world!

This is a discussion on The most interesting pistolero in the world! within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; Some of you may wonder what Sixto looks like, but I have recently discovered he stars as the bearded fellow in the Dos Equis commercials. ...

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  1. #1
    Ex Member Array Doodle's Avatar
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    The most interesting pistolero in the world!

    Some of you may wonder what Sixto looks like, but I have recently discovered he stars as the bearded fellow in the Dos Equis commercials. By his own admission he is aged for the camera to add credibility to the masses but the chicks are all his. Here are a few of his exploits.

    He's fluent in all languages, including three that only he speaks.
    Midgets look up to him.
    Ghosts fear him.
    He tips an astonishing 100%.
    Once while sailing around the world, He discovered a short cut.
    When sailing the wind is always at his back.
    Panhandlers give him money.
    He does Calculus in his head.
    He always rounds to five decimal points.
    He divorced his wife because he caught her littering.
    His 7th Inning stretch could last through the 9th....
    He's never not sat up straight.
    As a toddler he taught others to walk.
    At the book store people crowd to see him read.
    Athletes seek his autograph.
    His passport requires no photo.
    He can keep one eye on the past while looking into the future.
    When fishing at some point he has to call it quits.
    He's never found a penny that wasn't heads up.
    When he drives his new car off the lot it increases in value.
    His 1913 Duesenberg still has that new car smell.
    Though he can't walk on water he's never slipped on ice.
    Chuck Norris secretly envies him.

    Feel free to add to his list of exploits

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  3. #2
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    Array SIXTO's Avatar
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    Thanks for posting the modest version, I wouldn't want to waste bandwidth or bore everyone with my nuances.
    "Just blame Sixto"

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    Senior Member Array Sig35seven's Avatar
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    Sasquatch took a picture of him.
    "Confidence is food for the wise man but liquor for the fool"

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    Ex Member Array Doodle's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SIXTO View Post
    Thanks for posting the modest version, I wouldn't want to waste bandwidth or bore everyone with my nuances.
    Yeah that list would get ridiculous!

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    Distinguished Member Array Ghettokracker71's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sig35seven View Post
    Sasquatch took a picture of him.


    "To blame a gun for a mans decision is to foolishly attribute free will to an inanimate object"- Colion Noir.

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    Ex Member Array Doodle's Avatar
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    They are only called the virgin islands because he hasn't been there... Yet.

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    VIP Member Array goldshellback's Avatar
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    SIXTO has already been to Mars, that's why there's no sign of life.
    atctimmy, kal0, OldVet and 1 others like this.
    "Just getting a concealed carry permit means you haven't commited a crime yet. CCP holders commit crimes." Daniel Vice, senior attorney for the Brady Campaign to Prevent Gun Violence, quoted on Fox & Friends, 8 Jul, 2008

    (Sometimes) "a fight avioded is a fight won." ... claude clay

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    Ex Member Array Doodle's Avatar
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    Dolphins pay to swim with him.
    lordofwyr likes this.

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    mosquitoes don't bite him out of respect.

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    He lives vicariously through himself.
    He once taught a German shepherd to bark in Spanish.
    He never says something tastes like chicken – not even chicken.
    He’s been known to cure narcolepsy, just by walking into a room.
    He once had an awkward moment, just to see how it feels.
    His beard alone has experienced more than a lesser man’s entire body.
    Even his enemies list him as their emergency contact number.
    He’s a lover, not a fighter, but he’s also a fighter, so don’t get any ideas.
    When it is raining, it is because he is thinking of something sad.
    His shirts never wrinkle.
    He is left-handed. And right-handed.
    If he were to mail a letter without postage, it would still get there.
    He has amassed an incredibly large DVD library, and it is said that he never once alphabetized it.
    You can see his charisma from space.
    The police often question him, just because they find him interesting.
    He once punched a magician. That’s right. You heard me.
    If a monument were built in his honor, Mt. Rushmore would close… due to poor attendance.
    His blood smells like cologne.
    His organ donation card also lists his beard.
    On every continent in the world, there is a sandwich named after him.
    He doesn’t believe in using oven mitts, nor potholders.
    His reputation is expanding faster than the universe.
    His cereal never gets soggy. It sits there, staying crispy, just for him.
    The pheromones he secretes have been known to affect people miles away, in a slight but measurable way.
    His hands feel like rich brown suede.
    He owns three sports cars and rents five.
    He once taught a horse to read email for him.
    He once brought in $13 million at a charity bachelor auction, which was a lot of money at the time.
    Respected archaeologists fight over his discarded apple cores.
    He is the most interesting man in the world.
    Doodle, atctimmy and shooterX like this.

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    Distinguished Member Array bigmacque's Avatar
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    The Eikothalon competition was scratched because they couldn't find anyone that could compete with him.
    Doodle likes this.
    I'm in favor of gun control -- I think every citizen should have control of a gun.
    1 Thess. 5:16-18

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    Ex Member Array oldrwizr's Avatar
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    His 1911 was made in 1906.

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    Ex Member Array Doodle's Avatar
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    His charm is so contagious, scientists are scrambling for a vaccine.

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    Ex Member Array Doodle's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bigmacque View Post
    The Eikothalon competition was scratched because they couldn't find anyone that could compete with him.
    I thought I was just not in the know so I googled Eikothalon... No results so what the heck is a Eikothalon? This is NOT where someones says SIXTO knows what a Eikothalon is.

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    Distinguished Member Array bigmacque's Avatar
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    Penta- , Deca - , Eiko -

    5, 10, 20
    I'm in favor of gun control -- I think every citizen should have control of a gun.
    1 Thess. 5:16-18

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