Silly story

This is a discussion on Silly story within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; This popped into my head when I was reading the .357 Sig fake special forces guy story and I didn't want to hijack that thread. ...

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    Silly story

    This popped into my head when I was reading the .357 Sig fake special forces guy story and I didn't want to hijack that thread.

    So this thread is about silly stories you have told non-military folks or folks that asked too many stupid questions about your service.

    Here's mine:

    Preface: As a veteran of many BB gun fights in my youth I carry three BBs in me to this day. I carry two in my torso and one in my left hand.

    Just before my wedding in 99 I had a nasty mountain bike crash at Big Bear in Socal. I thought I was going to be OK but after making the trip back East to my home town I was in enough pain to require a trip to the ER (I had cracked ribs).

    I went to the ER and while waiting for my X-rays to come back the nurse starts blabbing away like she knew me. After a while I figured out who she was. We had gone to school together (K through 12) and she had bulked up to the point that, even though I knew he well, I didn't recognize her.

    We talk about old times and where I had been all these years. I tell her that I had served 5 years in the Navy.

    At some point during our conversation about my time in the service the doctor comes in with my X-rays and asks "Have you ever been shot?!!?". Before I can answer he shows me the X-rays and you could clearly see two metal objects in my chest. Now I'm not a jerk about this kind of thing but I just couldn't resist pulling his chain. I told him that those pieces of metal were shrapnel and he (and my old friend) ate it up. They both leaned in closer and asked how it happened.

    I spouted of some sort of story about the gulf war and an Iraqi land mine. There was a big explosion and blah blah blah. I was honestly expecting the nurse (who knew me and my BB gun fighting history) to call BS but she never did. They both sat and listened to my crappy land mine story with such rapt interest that I finally felt bad for them and told them I was kidding and that they were just BBs.

    The nurse who then remembered how my brother used to shoot the crap out of me laughed. The doctor was not as amused. In fact, he was seriously peeved at me. He, being a big muckety muck, was not used to people jerking his chain. He told me I wasn't funny and huffed off.

    A little while later, as I was leaving, a small group of nurses (including my old friend) told me that they were very pleased that I had tricked the doctor. He wasn't very popular and they liked that I pulled a fast one on him. : )
    Last edited by atctimmy; September 2nd, 2012 at 01:50 PM.
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    Some people just don't have a sense of humor. They are fun to play with. Good job.
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    Not really military related, except for happening at a friends farewell party before he went to basic. My friend's family had a non shedding dog that would get a haircut in the late spring, which in this case was the day before the party.
    My friend's sister-in-law, being a bag of hammers, asked "what happened to the dog?". She was toldn "OMG, you didn't hear? He got run over by the lawn mower.".
    About five minutes later she asks, "Is he going to be OK?"
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    I don't shine people on about my time in the navy although I should because that actually sounds fun! Anyway when people find out I was a submariner, I always get the same question amoung others...how deep does a submarine go. Well my answer is always that's one of those numbers I can't talk about, but they press the question and ask something rediculous like well can't they go like 30,000 feet down. I just shake my head but I guess most don't understand that you get 44 psi for every 100 feet of depth and the sheer surface area of a submarine can't handle all that much combined pressure so I guess the real number is very underwhelming.

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    That's awesome!!!
    "Don't start none, won't be none!"

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    Quote Originally Posted by Doodle View Post
    I don't shine people on about my time in the navy although I should because that actually sounds fun! Anyway when people find out I was a submariner, I always get the same question amoung others...how deep does a submarine go. Well my answer is always that's one of those numbers I can't talk about, but they press the question and ask something rediculous like well can't they go like 30,000 feet down. I just shake my head but I guess most don't understand that you get 44 psi for every 100 feet of depth and the sheer surface area of a submarine can't handle all that much combined pressure so I guess the real number is very underwhelming.
    You sound like a hoot!
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    Ex Member Array Doodle's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Brad426 View Post
    You sound like a hoot!
    Thanks?
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    Reminds me of Uncle B.S. stories from comedian Tim Wilson.

    "Uncle Timmy....where were you in January 1991?"

    Uncle Timmy: Lemme see....Jan 1991...oh yeah...Kuwait...no...wait...Iraq...Used Camel Salesman riding along with a guy named Ali, the Information Minister for President for life Hussein.....blah...blah.
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    I just tell them about the pretty sights and beaches. How clear the water was.
    Semper Fi
    "Marines don't surrender-they win or die." from Brute

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    I was a missile combat crew commander on Titan II ICBMs. I was seriously asked once, by a totally sober individual, did I ever have to launch. I told him "only once." He nodded his head sagely and said "Wow!" I don't see the gentleman anymore, but I feel sorta bad about the joke.
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    Excellent! Timmy, don't ever lose that sense of humor. The people who can't laugh at their own gullibility just ain't worth your time. The ones that can - well, they're just real folks. Well done.
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    The funniest part of the whole situation, at least to me, was the fact that I told them up front that I was a sailor. Neither of them wondered what a sailor was doing on land getting hit by a land mine.
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    Quote Originally Posted by atctimmy View Post
    The funniest part of the whole situation, at least to me, was the fact that I told them up front that I was a sailor. Neither of them wondered what a sailor was doing on land getting hit by a land mine.
    There are 2 possibilities,Navy Corpsman,or Navy Seal...when you first started out I thought you were gonna go the Seal route
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    Quote Originally Posted by dukalmighty View Post
    There are 2 possibilities,Navy Corpsman,or Navy Seal...when you first started out I thought you were gonna go the Seal route
    Yes, as a Navy man I'm quite familiar with how it could have happened. They didn't know that and they didn't ask.

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    Awesome! Forget that guy! If you can't laugh at yourself you dont get to laugh at anyone else! Good story Timmy!!
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