A Pirate Walks Into A Bar.....

A Pirate Walks Into A Bar.....

This is a discussion on A Pirate Walks Into A Bar..... within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; A pirate walked into a bar, and the bartender said, "Hey, I haven't seen you in awhile. What happened? You look terrible. "What do you ...

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Thread: A Pirate Walks Into A Bar.....

  1. #1
    Member Array waynesan's Avatar
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    A Pirate Walks Into A Bar.....

    A pirate walked into a bar, and the
    bartender said, "Hey, I haven't seen you in awhile. What happened? You
    look terrible.

    "What do you mean?" said the pirate, "I feel fine."


    "What about the wooden leg? You didn't have that before."

    "Well," said the pirate, "We were in a battle, and I got hit with a
    cannon ball, but I'm fine now."

    The bartender replied, "Well, OK, but what about that hook? What
    happened to your hand?"

    The pirate explained, "We were in another battle. I boarded a ship and
    got into a sword fight. My hand was cut off. I got fitted with a hook
    but I'm fine, really."

    "What about that eye patch?"

    "Oh," said the pirate, "One day we were at sea, and a flock of birds
    flew over. I looked up, and one of them pooped in my eye."

    "You're kidding," said the bartender. "You couldn't lose an eye just
    from bird poop."

    "It was my first day with the hook."
    Raising children is like being pecked to death by a chicken every day.


  2. #2
    Member Array Naufragia's Avatar
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  3. #3
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    Aaarrgh!! Shiver me timbers but that's an OLD joke. Aaargh!
    If you have never broken your gun or bled on your gun in training, you're doing it wrong!
    Train hard, live easy.

  4. #4
    Senior Member Array RKflorida's Avatar
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    Good one! Seems like if you haven't heard an old one in a long time, they become new ones again! Thanks

  5. #5
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    That was a good one.
    Liberty Over Tyranny Μολὼν λαβέ

  6. #6
    VIP Member Array goldshellback's Avatar
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    Didn't 'see' that one coming......
    "Just getting a concealed carry permit means you haven't commited a crime yet. CCP holders commit crimes." Daniel Vice, senior attorney for the Brady Campaign to Prevent Gun Violence, quoted on Fox & Friends, 8 Jul, 2008

    (Sometimes) "a fight avioded is a fight won." ... claude clay

  7. #7
    VIP Member Array JDE101's Avatar
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    An "oldie", but a goodie!
    Live to ride, ride to live. Harley Road King And keep a .45 handy Kimber Custom TLE II

  8. #8
    VIP Member Array ghost tracker's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by goldshellback View Post
    Didn't 'see' that one coming......
    Avast, neither did he.
    goldshellback likes this.
    There are only TWO kinds of people in this world; those who describe the world as filled with two kinds of people...and those who don't.

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    Good one! Never heard that one before!
    It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.

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  10. #10
    VIP Member Array Eagleks's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jeanlouise View Post
    Good one! Never heard that one before!
    Me neither... good one.
    I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts. --- Will Rogers ---
    Chief Justice John Roberts : "I don't see how you can read Heller and not take away from it the notion that the Second Amendment...was extremely important to the framers in their view of what liberty meant."

  11. #11
    Ex Member Array Piratesailor's Avatar
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    Lmao...

  12. #12
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    An african, a muslim, and illegal alien walk in to a bar.

    The bartender asks, "How can I help you Mister President?"
    msgt/ret, pfries and Spirit51 like this.

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