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Best Divorce Letter Ever
Found this on face book, lol.
THE BEST DIVORCE LETTER EVER :-
My Dear Husband, I'm writing this letter to tell u that I'm leaving you. I've been a good wife to u for the last 20 years and I have nothing to show for it, and the last 2 weeks haven been hell. Your boss called to tell me that u left your job today which was the last straw. Last week, you came home and u didn't even notice I had a new hairstyle, had cooked your favorite meal and even wore a brand new night gown. You ate in 2 minutes and went straight to sleep after watching your TV soaps. You didn't tell me u love me anymore, u didn't want sex or anything that connects us as husband and wife. Either u are cheating on me or u don't love me anymore. Whatever the case, I'm gone.... YOUR EX-WIFE
P.S. Don't try to find me. Your BROTHER and I are moving to New Zealand together! Have a great life!....
REPLY :
Dear Ex-Wife, Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true u and I have been married for 20 years, although a good woman is a far cry from what u have been. I watch TV soaps so much becoz they down out your constant whining and bitching. Too bad that doesnt work anymore. I did notice when u got a hairdo last week, but the 1st thing that came to my mind was 'you look just like a boy!'. Since my father raised me not to say anything if u can't say something nice, I didn't comment. When u cooked my favorite meal, u must have got me confused with MY BROTHER becoz I haven't eaten prawns for 7 years. About the new night gown, I turned away from u becoz the $299.99 price tag was still on it, and I prayed it was a coincidence that my brother had just borrowed $300 from me that morning. After all of this, i still loved u and felt we could work it out. So when I won the $20 million Lotto on Saturday, I left my job and bought 2 tickets for us to Paris, but when I got home u were gone. Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I hope u have fulfilling life u always wanted. My lawyer said that the LETTER u wrote ensures u won't get a dollar from me. So take care... Signed.... Your Ex-Husband, Rich As Hell And Free!
P.S. I don't know if I ever told u this, but my brother CARL was born CARLA. :P .I hope that's not a problem.
"A free people ought not only to be armed and disciplined, but they should have sufficient arms and ammunition to maintain a status of independence from any who might attempt to abuse them, which would include their own government." - George Washington
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Very weird, this thing called marriage.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by
lyz_grace
:scruntiny:
Yeah, figures... a woman don't like your little joke...
:rofl:
Oh c'mon lyz... I was just pokin' the bear...
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Hahaha, guess I walked into that one. I was more concerned with why anybody over the age of 13 would be writing a letter with "u" and "becoz."
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Hysterical....ok.. Maybe just really funny... Lmao
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