Best Divorce Letter Ever

Best Divorce Letter Ever

This is a discussion on Best Divorce Letter Ever within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; Found this on face book, lol. THE BEST DIVORCE LETTER EVER :- My Dear Husband, I'm writing this letter to tell u that I'm leaving ...

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Thread: Best Divorce Letter Ever

  1. #1
    Member Array Acrid's Avatar
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    Best Divorce Letter Ever

    Found this on face book, lol.


    THE BEST DIVORCE LETTER EVER :-

    My Dear Husband, I'm writing this letter to tell u that I'm leaving you. I've been a good wife to u for the last 20 years and I have nothing to show for it, and the last 2 weeks haven been hell. Your boss called to tell me that u left your job today which was the last straw. Last week, you came home and u didn't even notice I had a new hairstyle, had cooked your favorite meal and even wore a brand new night gown. You ate in 2 minutes and went straight to sleep after watching your TV soaps. You didn't tell me u love me anymore, u didn't want sex or anything that connects us as husband and wife. Either u are cheating on me or u don't love me anymore. Whatever the case, I'm gone.... YOUR EX-WIFE

    P.S. Don't try to find me. Your BROTHER and I are moving to New Zealand together! Have a great life!....

    REPLY :

    Dear Ex-Wife, Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true u and I have been married for 20 years, although a good woman is a far cry from what u have been. I watch TV soaps so much becoz they down out your constant whining and bitching. Too bad that doesnt work anymore. I did notice when u got a hairdo last week, but the 1st thing that came to my mind was 'you look just like a boy!'. Since my father raised me not to say anything if u can't say something nice, I didn't comment. When u cooked my favorite meal, u must have got me confused with MY BROTHER becoz I haven't eaten prawns for 7 years. About the new night gown, I turned away from u becoz the $299.99 price tag was still on it, and I prayed it was a coincidence that my brother had just borrowed $300 from me that morning. After all of this, i still loved u and felt we could work it out. So when I won the $20 million Lotto on Saturday, I left my job and bought 2 tickets for us to Paris, but when I got home u were gone. Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I hope u have fulfilling life u always wanted. My lawyer said that the LETTER u wrote ensures u won't get a dollar from me. So take care... Signed.... Your Ex-Husband, Rich As Hell And Free!

    P.S. I don't know if I ever told u this, but my brother CARL was born CARLA. :P .I hope that's not a problem.





    "A free people ought not only to be armed and disciplined, but they should have sufficient arms and ammunition to maintain a status of independence from any who might attempt to abuse them, which would include their own government." - George Washington


  2. #2
    Senior Member Array Cold Shot's Avatar
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    Very weird, this thing called marriage.

  3. #3
    Distinguished Member Array kapnketel's Avatar
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    I'd rather be lucky than good any day

    There's nothing that will change someone's moral outlook quicker than cash in large sums.

    Majority rule only works if you're also considering individual rights. Because you can't have five wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for supper.

  4. #4
    Member Array lyz_grace's Avatar
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  5. #5
    VIP Member Array oakchas's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by lyz_grace View Post
    Yeah, figures... a woman don't like your little joke...



    Oh c'mon lyz... I was just pokin' the bear...
    lyz_grace likes this.
    Rats!
    It could be worse!
    I suppose

  6. #6
    Member Array Illusive Man's Avatar
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    I love that letter!!!
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    A man, without force, is without the essential dignity of humanity. Human nature is so constituted, that it cannot honor a helpless man, although it can pity him; and even this it cannot do long, if the signs of power do not arise.

  7. #7
    Member Array lyz_grace's Avatar
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    Hahaha, guess I walked into that one. I was more concerned with why anybody over the age of 13 would be writing a letter with "u" and "becoz."

  8. #8
    Member Array erick619's Avatar
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    hahaha!
    I do not love the bright sword for its sharpness, nor the arrow for its swiftness, nor the warrior for his glory. I love only that which they defend.

    (J.R.R.Tolkien [Faramir], The Two Towers

  9. #9
    Member Array MoMan's Avatar
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    Niiice!!

  10. #10
    Ex Member Array Piratesailor's Avatar
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    Hysterical....ok.. Maybe just really funny... Lmao

  11. #11
    VIP Member Array Eagleks's Avatar
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    LOL >... I love it.
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