2012 What guns does Santa Carry?

This is a discussion on 2012 What guns does Santa Carry? within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; "The Night Santa Went Crazy" Down in the workshop all the elves were makin' toys For the good Gentile girls and the good Gentile boys ...

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Thread: 2012 What guns does Santa Carry?

  1. #16
    VIP Member Array Rob99VMI04's Avatar
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    "The Night Santa Went Crazy"


    Down in the workshop all the elves were makin' toys
    For the good Gentile girls and the good Gentile boys
    When the boss busted in, nearly scared 'em half to death
    Had a rifle in his hands and cheap whiskey on his breath
    From his beard to his boots he was covered with ammo
    Like a big fat drunk disgruntled Yuletide Rambo
    And he smiled as he said with a twinkle in his eye,
    "Merry Christmas to all - now you're all gonna die!"

    The night Santa went crazy
    The night St. Nick went insane
    Realized he'd been gettin' a raw deal
    Something finally must have snapped in his brain

    Well, the workshop is gone now, he decided to bomb it
    Everywhere you'll find pieces of Cupid and Comet
    And he tied up his helpers and he held the elves hostage
    And he ground up poor Rudolph into reindeer sausage
    He got Dancer and Prancer with an old German Luger
    And he slashed up Dasher just like Freddy Krueger
    And he picked up a flamethrower and he barbequed Blitzen
    And he took a big bite and said, "It tastes just like chicken!"

    The night Santa went crazy
    The night Kris Kringle went nuts
    Now you can't hardly walk around the North Pole
    Without steppin' in reindeer guts

    There's the National Guard and the F.B.I.
    There's a van from the Eyewitness News
    And helicopters circlin' 'round in the sky
    And the bullets are flyin', the body count's risin'
    And everyone's dyin' to know, oh Santa, why?
    My my my my my my
    You used to be such a jolly guy

    Yes, Virginia, now Santa's doin' time
    In a federal prison for his infamous crime
    Hey, little friend, now don't you cry no more tears
    He'll be out with good behavior in 700 more years
    But now Vixen's in therapy and Donner's still nervous
    And the elves all got jobs working for the postal service
    And they say Mrs. Clause, she's on the phone every night
    With her lawyer negotiating the movie rights

    They're talkin' bout - the night Santa went crazy
    The night St. Nicholas flipped
    Broke his back for some milk and cookies
    Sounds to me like he was tired of gettin' gypped

    Wo, the night Santa went crazy
    The night St. Nick went insane
    Realized he's gettin' a raw deal
    Something finally must have snapped in his brain
    Wo, something finally must have snapped in his brain
    Tell ya, something finally must have snapped... in his brain
    “Are you a thermometer or a thermostat, do you reflect or become what is happening in the room or do you change the atmosphere, reset the temperature when you come into the room”?--Chuck Swindoll

    Its not about guns...Its about Freedom!

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  3. #17
    VIP Member Array high pockets's Avatar
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    Several Hellfires mounted to the bottom of the sleigh.
    CLASS3NH likes this.
    "If you make something idiot proof, someone will make a better idiot."

    - Anon

  4. #18
    Member Array IronMike's Avatar
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    When I play Santa I carry my Ruger .454 Alaskan...after all the North Pole ain't much further.
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    It is pardonable to be defeated but never surprised.
    2 Ruger alaskan .454s
    Ruger P95
    Rem 870
    Barrett .50BMG

  5. #19
    Distinguished Member Array BigStick's Avatar
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    Gun toting Santa sign causes controversy in Turlock | abc30.com

    Well, this Santa caused a little controversy. He had some sort of sixgun, but the painting wasn't really exact enough to tell what it was. He is "Old School" though, right? So I can definitly see him with the revolver.
    Walk softly ...

  6. #20
    Member Array Hobo_Hunter's Avatar
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    An MP5. "Now I have a machine gun, Ho Ho Ho!"
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  7. #21
    VIP Member Array varob's Avatar
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    Santa carries a Peacemaker of course.
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    Don't believe what you hear and only half of what you see!
    -Tony Soprano

  8. #22
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    Array 1 old 0311's Avatar
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    Pair of 27's?

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  9. #23
    VIP Member Array JoJoGunn's Avatar
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    I think you are all wrong. Santa is old, very, very old.

    He carries a flintlock pistol in .45 caliber or maybe an 1851 Navy Colt percussion cap revolver.

    He has been known to pack that hand-made Pennsylvania rifle in .36 caliber just in case he has to pop a squirrel in a chimney some place.

    Just my thoughts on this one.
    Hobo_Hunter likes this.
    "A Smith & Wesson always beats 4 aces!"

    The Man Prayer. "Im a man, I can change, if I have to.....I guess!" ~ Red Green

  10. #24
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    Asking Santa for some ar mags this year! Nice stocking stuffers

  11. #25
    VIP Member Array CLASS3NH's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by gasmitty View Post
    I'd bet his sleigh has a Dillon M134...
    YEAHHHHHHHHHH Baby!!!!!!!
    Why Waltz when you can Rock-N-Roll

  12. #26
    VIP Member Array CLASS3NH's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by WHEC724 View Post
    For Al-queda leaders, he's making a list and checking it twice.

    Gotta LOVE those belt feds.............
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    Why Waltz when you can Rock-N-Roll

  13. #27
    Senior Member Array Zsnake's Avatar
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    Evidently ya'all don't watch the traditional Christmas Movies.....

    He carries a Red Ryder BB Rifle!!!!
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  14. #28
    Member Array Gunnie's Avatar
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    I'm thinking 6in nickel python for general use. And when he's working out side he's packing the anaconda (abominable snowmen trying to get the rain deer). He Santa Claus he dont have to worry about cost look at some of the things he's gotten all of us.
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  15. #29
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    Quote Originally Posted by JoJoGunn View Post
    I think you are all wrong. Santa is old, very, very old.

    He carries a flintlock pistol in .45 caliber or maybe an 1851 Navy Colt percussion cap revolver.

    He has been known to pack that hand-made Pennsylvania rifle in .36 caliber just in case he has to pop a squirrel in a chimney some place.

    Just my thoughts on this one.
    I'm thinking along the same lines, although I'd think a blunderbuss would be a little more suitable.
    "Just blame Sixto"

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