funny but true. - Page 2

funny but true.

This is a discussion on funny but true. within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; Originally Posted by Ksgunner Worked pretty well where I grew up!! This statement is completely meaningless. How do you know what worked well? Spankings obviously ...

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  1. #16
    Senior Member Array Cold Shot's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ksgunner View Post
    Worked pretty well where I grew up!!
    This statement is completely meaningless. How do you know what worked well?

    Spankings obviously have an effect, but what are children really being taught? "Don't do this, because it equates to pain?" That 's really a good way to raise a confidant, critically thinking person, in my opinion.

    I realize that if a child is acting like a brat, he may shape up with spankings, but no one has a good reason as to why. It's always, "it worked for me when I was a kid," or "I have well behaved children." People who study this stuff (Psychologists, Sociologists, Neurologists, etc.) have come up with more than anecdotal evidence that dismisses spankings as ineffective.

    I'm not necessarily opposed to it, but it seems like an easy way out.


  2. #17
    VIP Member Array Ksgunner's Avatar
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    I know it worked well because myself and my 5 brothers and 1 sister all turned out to be outstanding good American folks with no criminal records, jail time or other problems that are so current today. And my Father did this without the help of "(Psychologists, Sociologists, Neurologists, etc.) "
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    Having the fear of God put in me at a young age seemed to have worked out pretty well.

    Seems to be working with my boys as well, they actually think about what will happen to them if they get caught doing something wrong and decide against it.
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  4. #19
    Distinguished Member Array bigmacque's Avatar
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    I only caught the switch/paddle about three or four times, and I turned out okay. I have a few siblings that took a lot more time than I did to catch on. So it's a lot of things, including the individual childs decision to snap to or not.
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  5. #20
    Distinguished Member Array Arborigine's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by chiefjason View Post
    I worked in the field with at risk teenage boys. I was trained in physical restraint and therapeutic crisis intervention when it still used one and two person restraints. I can assure you that those physical restraints (which were very near brawls at times), were key to teaching those boys that there were serious consequences for behavior that was way over the line. They key to it was using the physical aspect to end the behavior immediately and following that up with debriefing and counseling when it was over. .
    Sometimes that looks best served by putting them in oil drums and rolling them downhill. LOL. Someone who has never had a beating or has been overly sheltered has no idea what waits for them in life. They leave home as sheep for the slaughter.
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  6. #21
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    The thing is, you want your kids to do the right thing because it's THE RIGHT THING, not just because they'll get spanked if they don't. If you aren' t around to spank them, would they do it then? You aren't always going to be there.

    I've seen some incredible brats in my life but they were always the product of permissive parenting where the kid was allowed to "express" themselves and not made to behave. That's horrible parenting IMO.
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  7. #22
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    When kids are little, you can't really reason with them and their natural tendencies are to push/explore limits - just like little animals. Until they develop rational thought and the ability to equate actions and consequences corporal punishment gets to the point quick and is remembered, unlike verbal cues directed to an underdeveloped mind. The ones parents don't get through to retain more of the attributes of animals and that's what we see making up more and more of our society. All those psychologists and sociologists are the same ones who come up with the useless studies declaring 3k+ kids are killed with guns each year, that you're 93% more likely to get killed by a gun in your own home, etc. How many times has it switched btwn eggs are good for you and eggs are bad for you? My perception is the vast majority of those studies serve a limited number of purposes including 1) the right to claim "I got published", 2) further personal/professional agendas, and 3) acquire grant money and very few are actually well designed, independent, unbiased research.

  8. #23
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    I got a few "spankings" when I grew up, I think I turned out fine. My kids got a few spankings growing up (less than me) and they've turned out fine.

    Kids are kids and they are not all from the same cookie-cutter, they are different, and sometimes different approaches are needed. I have two 4 year old identical twin grandson's, both raised in the same household with the same parents. One of them needs more discipline than the other, in fact they are surprisingly different than each other. Genes do funny things.
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  9. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cold Shot View Post
    Research indicates that hitting children isn't the most effective way of doing things.
    My research indicates otherwise. I have found that there is nothing better at breaking a tantrum than a SOLID swat on the rear with a wooden spoon. It works with every kid I have ever been around. Kids learn fast what they can and can't get away with.

    You want to hear something interesting? Children with deaf parents don't cry. Do you know why? Because it doesn't work and they don't get what they want. It works the same way with tantrums. When kids get a whack on the bottom instead of getting what they want they stop having tantrums.

    Quote Originally Posted by chiefjason View Post
    Sure, if it's the only thing you do. But if it's just one of many options there is really nothing wrong with it. I don't anticipate spanking my girls any more. Mainly because I have in the past. Funny that I get lots of compliments on how well behaved, kind, and well mannered they are. Unlike some other kids. I'll assure you that spanking played a part. And equating hitting with spanking is loading the statement with negative meaning that is not there if it's used for discipline. Generally, my kids were warned where things were headed if they did not straighten up. And they chose the path they took, so they chose the consequences that were laid before them as well. Going straight to spanking was only for things I considered quite serious, and was rare.

    I'll tell you what's hateful. Raising bratty, selfish little brutes that have never heard the word "no". Setting your kids up to fail in real life because they were raised in a fantasy world. Picking self esteem over self respect or self discipline. That's hating your kids via bad parenting.

    Spanking can't be the only option. But it needs to be an option.

    I worked in the field with at risk teenage boys. I was trained in physical restraint and therapeutic crisis intervention when it still used one and two person restraints. I can assure you that those physical restraints (which were very near brawls at times), were key to teaching those boys that there were serious consequences for behavior that was way over the line. They key to it was using the physical aspect to end the behavior immediately and following that up with debriefing and counseling when it was over. Without the physical intervention of the restraint they generally felt free to do whatever they pleased even if it was potentially harmful to themselves or others. That's pretty much the method I have carried over to parenting. Any spanking is followed up by explaining to them why I did it, what got them there, and what they needed to do next time.
    Great post CJ.

    Quote Originally Posted by Cold Shot View Post
    This statement is completely meaningless. How do you know what worked well?

    Spankings obviously have an effect, but what are children really being taught? "Don't do this, because it equates to pain?" That 's really a good way to raise a confidant, critically thinking person, in my opinion.

    I realize that if a child is acting like a brat, he may shape up with spankings, but no one has a good reason as to why. It's always, "it worked for me when I was a kid," or "I have well behaved children." People who study this stuff (Psychologists, Sociologists, Neurologists, etc.) have come up with more than anecdotal evidence that dismisses spankings as ineffective.

    I'm not necessarily opposed to it, but it seems like an easy way out.
    What they are learning is that there are consequences for behaving in a particular manner. In my home good behavior equals more privileges, praise and affirmation. Bad behavior will get your toys taken away and a 15 minute stint in time out. Hitting a sibling, telling a fib or throwing a tantrum gets you the wooden spoon (plus the other lesser punishments).

    Spanking works, it works well and anyone who says otherwise is selling something.

    ETA: If learning about consequences and then modifying their behavior accordingly isn't critical thinking then I don't know what is.
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  10. #25
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    Since we're all using anecdotal evidence; I'll say that my son is graduating from college this Saturday. He's going into law enforcement. He's a funny, easy going, quiet guy who has never been in trouble, loves animals, has common sense and is fully aware of the good, the bad and the ugly of life. Never once was he spanked.
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  11. #26
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    As many have said it is an option. It need not be the only option. There are many options in the real world and pain is one of them. Go to your room - Jail, yardwork - community service, spanking - getting your butt whipped for doing something stupid. It is all training and socialization. That is why it CAN be beneficial. It CAN have a positive effects. It CAN also have negative effects. It works for some, not for others. It is one of many tools in the parenting repertoire.
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  12. #27
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    Quote Originally Posted by BigJon10125 View Post
    As many have said it is an option. It need not be the only option. There are many options in the real world and pain is one of them. Go to your room - Jail, yardwork - community service, spanking - getting your butt whipped for doing something stupid. It is all training and socialization. That is why it CAN be beneficial. It CAN have a positive effects. It CAN also have negative effects. It works for some, not for others. It is one of many tools in the parenting repertoire.
    I also think, like with most things, the degree you're doing it to makes a big difference. A quick little swat on the bottom to get their attention is one thing. Getting out the belt and really hurting your child is another thing entirely.
    It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.

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  13. #28
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jeanlouise View Post
    Since we're all using anecdotal evidence; I'll say that my son is graduating from college this Saturday. He's going into law enforcement. He's a funny, easy going, quiet guy who has never been in trouble, loves animals, has common sense and is fully aware of the good, the bad and the ugly of life. Never once was he spanked.
    I'm very happy for you.

    I don't think spanking is the ONLY way. IMO defining standards and then being consistent in you application of punishment when a child falls below those standards is the key. If a parent doesn't want to spank that's OK, as long as they have the ability to consistently discipline to the standard they have set.

    IMO disciplining a child involves something a child does not like, be it a spank, a LONG time out or the loss of a privilege or toy. As long as you are consistent in your methods and consistent in upholding a standard of behavior then you are good (IMO). In this way a child can understand/learn what is acceptable and what is not.

    Quote Originally Posted by Jeanlouise View Post
    I also think, like with most things, the degree you're doing it to makes a big difference. A quick little swat on the bottom to get their attention is one thing. Getting out the belt and really hurting your child is another thing entirely.
    I agree here too. I give my kids ONE whack with the wooden spoon. It almost never fails to deliver the message.

    ETA: I will say that with two of my three children I have been tested in this. My oldest would straighten up and fly right with only the rarest need for a spank.
    My middle child is much wilder and strong willed. I have actually had to spank her more than once. Around 3 1/2 she was having a monster tantrum and when I spanked her she got worse. So after about a 30 second pause I spanked her again. I told her that she needed to change her behavior and I would keep it up all night if that is what it would take.
    She persisted and soon after she got her third spank, each one a little harder than the last. After spank 3 or 4 she realized that I was not going to stop and I meant everything I had said. Her tantrum abruptly stopped and that was that. She has never tested that boundary again because she knows I will not back down. She knows I will go all in.

  14. #29
    VIP Member Array BigJon10125's Avatar
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    Nothing says you messed up like a shoe flying across the room at your head! Teaches coordination, situational awareness, and consequences!
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  15. #30
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    Quote Originally Posted by atctimmy View Post
    I'm very happy for you.
    LOL...I didn't mean to brag, just point out that not spanking doesn't always equal a self absorbed brat.

    The "stare" almost always worked for me.
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    It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.

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