'Texas Security System'

'Texas Security System'

This is a discussion on 'Texas Security System' within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; Email I just received - new to me: "HOW TO INSTALL A TEXAS HOME SECURITY SYSTEM 1. Go to Goodwill and buy a pair of ...

Results 1 to 15 of 15
Like Tree15Likes
  • 4 Post By anglertoo
  • 6 Post By oakchas
  • 1 Post By msgt/ret
  • 1 Post By linuss
  • 2 Post By sfchemist
  • 1 Post By oakchas

Thread: 'Texas Security System'

  1. #1
    Member Array anglertoo's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Location
    North Central Connecticut
    Posts
    47

    'Texas Security System'

    Email I just received - new to me:

    "HOW TO INSTALL A TEXAS HOME SECURITY SYSTEM

    1. Go to Goodwill and buy a pair of size 14-16 men's work boots.

    2. Place them on your front porch, along with a copy of Guns & Ammo Magazine.

    3. Put four giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazines.

    4. Leave a note on your door that reads...

    Bubba,

    Me, Marcel, Donnie Ray and Jimmy Earl went for more ammo and beer. Be back in an hour. Don't mess with the pit bulls. They got the mailman this morning and messed him up bad. I don't think Killer took part, but it was hard to tell from all the blood. Anyway, I locked all four of 'em in the house. Better wait outside. Be right back.

    Cooter"
    “To see what is right and not do it, is want of courage”. Confucius


  2. #2
    Senior Member Array KBSR's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2012
    Location
    Gulf Coast, MS
    Posts
    653
    Hahaha That's awesome. :)

  3. #3
    VIP Member Array oakchas's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Location
    Iowa
    Posts
    7,558
    Epic Fail

    Criminals cain't read.

    If they could, they'd never take their guns into a Gun Free Zone...

    Sheesh!

    atctimmy, JoJoGunn, OD* and 3 others like this.
    Rats!
    It could be worse!
    I suppose

  4. #4
    VIP Member
    Array msgt/ret's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    North Carolina
    Posts
    7,639
    Should be right next to the “Trespassers Will Be Eaten” sign.
    JoJoGunn likes this.
    When you have to shoot, shoot. Don't talk.
    "Don't forget, incoming fire has the right of way."

  5. #5
    Ex Member Array Doodle's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    Location
    Tomball TX
    Posts
    948
    Not amused (from Texas)

  6. #6
    Member Array linuss's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2012
    Location
    DFW
    Posts
    303
    Quote Originally Posted by Doodle View Post
    Not amused (from Texas)
    I am, but I'm also a Yankee living in Texas :)
    Hopyard likes this.

  7. #7
    VIP Member Array oakchas's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Location
    Iowa
    Posts
    7,558
    Quote Originally Posted by Doodle View Post
    Not amused (from Texas)
    Yeah, didn't sound too "Texas" to me either... More like the Appalachian region... At least that's the drawl I "heard."
    Rats!
    It could be worse!
    I suppose

  8. #8
    VIP Member
    Array OldVet's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Location
    Hiding inside a bottle of Jim Beam Black.
    Posts
    17,321
    I'm amused, but then I'm in Florida. Here they just post signs that say "Fuget about it!"
    Retired USAF E-8. Lighten up and enjoy life because:
    Paranoia strikes deep, into your heart it will creep. It starts when you're always afraid... "For What It's Worth" Buffalo Springfield

  9. #9
    VIP Member Array JoJoGunn's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Location
    West Virginia
    Posts
    2,967
    Quote Originally Posted by Doodle View Post
    Not amused (from Texas)
    I live in West Virginia, you know, Redneck Almost Heaven.

    I know people who really are like this funny post.
    "A Smith & Wesson always beats 4 aces!"

    The Man Prayer. "Im a man, I can change, if I have to.....I guess!" ~ Red Green

  10. #10
    New Member Array sfchemist's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    Location
    Montana
    Posts
    13
    I live in Montana where a Sheriff was once quoted as saying: "We consider car jacking as attempted suicide." This may be an anecdotal story but it certainly has a ring of truth to it.
    JoJoGunn and msgt/ret like this.
    If someone has a gun and is trying to kill you, it would be reasonable to shoot back with your own gun.
    - Dalai Lama, Tibet

  11. #11
    VIP Member Array oakchas's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Location
    Iowa
    Posts
    7,558
    Quote Originally Posted by sfchemist View Post
    I live in Montana where a Sheriff was once quoted as saying: "We consider car jacking as attempted suicide." This may be an anecdotal story but it certainly has a ring of truth to it.
    Surely some of them are successful? Suicides, that is.
    JoJoGunn likes this.
    Rats!
    It could be worse!
    I suppose

  12. #12
    New Member Array sfchemist's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    Location
    Montana
    Posts
    13
    Here's an interesting twist to carjacking, not sure if this is true but it is certainly plausible and worth keeping in mind as an exercise in situational awareness:

    MUSINGS FROM MONTANA: New Carjacking Scheme-Forewarned is Forearmed
    If someone has a gun and is trying to kill you, it would be reasonable to shoot back with your own gun.
    - Dalai Lama, Tibet

  13. #13
    VIP Member Array oakchas's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Location
    Iowa
    Posts
    7,558
    Quote Originally Posted by sfchemist View Post
    Here's an interesting twist to carjacking, not sure if this is true but it is certainly plausible and worth keeping in mind as an exercise in situational awareness:

    MUSINGS FROM MONTANA: New Carjacking Scheme-Forewarned is Forearmed
    And don't forget that guy in the parking lot that lays in wait under your vehicle to slash both your Achilles tendons with his razor, causing you to instantly fall and be drug under the vehicle, mugged, and left for dead as he drives off.
    Rats!
    It could be worse!
    I suppose

  14. #14
    VIP Member Array Crowman's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Location
    West Allis WI
    Posts
    2,761
    I notice a hint of Czechoslovakian in the original post.....
    "One of the greatest delusions in the world is the hope that the evils in this world are to be cured by legislation."
    --Thomas B. Reed, American Attorney

    Second Amendment -- Established December 15, 1791 and slowly eroded ever since What happened to "..... shall not be infringed."

  15. #15
    VIP Member Array oakchas's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Location
    Iowa
    Posts
    7,558
    Quote Originally Posted by Crowman View Post
    I notice a hint of Czechoslovakian in the original post.....
    Sorry, your linguistics are off... it's Bohunk... (Bohemia, Czech and Slovak)... I'm sure... errr wait... it Polock... yeah, that's the ticket...

    No offense meant to my many friends of both Bohemian and Polish heritage, they tell me the best ethnic jokes, ever... and the they put me in a choke hold for laughing... Darned Polunks, anyway.
    Rats!
    It could be worse!
    I suppose

Sponsored Links

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  

Search tags for this page

funny e-mail on texas security system
,
go to goodwill and buy a pair
,

how to install a texas home security system 1. go to goodwill and buy a pair of size 14-16 men's work boots. 2. pla

Click on a term to search for related topics.