Little Timmy writes to Santa

Little Timmy writes to Santa

This is a discussion on Little Timmy writes to Santa within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; Dear Santa, How are you? How is Mrs. Claus? I hope everyone, from the I have been a very good boy this year. I would ...

Results 1 to 9 of 9
Like Tree6Likes
  • 2 Post By ANGLICO
  • 1 Post By ccw9mm
  • 3 Post By oneshot

Thread: Little Timmy writes to Santa

  1. #1
    VIP Member
    Array ANGLICO's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Location
    I'm the guy next door that is polite, but does not tell you crap.
    Posts
    4,015

    Little Timmy writes to Santa

    Dear Santa,

    How are you? How is Mrs. Claus? I hope everyone, from the

    I have been a very good boy this year. I would like an X-Box 360 with Call of Duty IV and an iPhone 4 for Christmas. I hope you remember that come Christmas Day..

    Merry Christmas,
    Timmy Jones

    * *

    Dear Timmy,

    Thank you for you letter. Mrs. Claus, the reindeer and the elves are all fine and thank you for asking about them. Santa is a little worried all the time you spend playing video games and texting. Santa wouldn’t want you to get fat. Since you have indeed been a good boy, I think I’ll bring you something you can go outside and play with.*

    Merry Christmas,
    Santa Claus

    * *

    Mr. Claus,

    Seeing that I have fulfilled the “naughty vs. Nice” contract, set by you I might add, I feel confident that you can see your way clear to granting me what I have asked for. I certainly wouldn’t want to turn this joyous season into one of litigation. Also, don’t you think that a jibe at my weight coming from an overweight man who goes out once a year is a bit trite?

    Respectfully,
    Tim Jones

    * *

    Mr. Jones,

    While I have acknowledged you have met the “nice” criteria, need I remind you that your Christmas list is a request and in no way is it a guarantee of services provided. Should you wish to pursue legal action, well that is your right. Please know, however, that my attorney’s have been on retainer ever since the Burgermeister Meisterburger incident and will be more than happy to take you on in open court. Additionally, the exercise I alluded to will not only improve your health, but also improve your social skills and potentially help clear up a complexion that looks like the bottom of the Burger King fry bin most days.

    Very Truly Yours,
    S Claus

    * *

    Now look here Fat Man,


    I told you what I want and I expect you to bring it. I was attempting to be polite about this but you brought my looks and my friends into this. Now you just be disrespecting me. I’m about to tweet my boys and we’re gonna be waiting for your fat butt and I’m taking my game console, my game, my phone, and whatever else I want. WHAT EVER I WANT, MAN!

    T-Bone

    * *

    Listen Pizza Face,

    Seriously??? You think a dude that breaks into every house in the world on one night and never gets caught sweats a skinny G-banger wannabe? “He sees you when you’re sleeping; He knows when you’re awake”. Sound familiar, genius? You know what kind of resources I have at my disposal. I got your stuff wired, Jack. I go all around the world and see ways to hurt people that if I described them right now, you’d throw up your Totino’s pizza roll all over the carpet of your mom’s basement. You’re not getting what you asked for, but I’m still stopping by your crib to stomp a mud hole in you’re butt and then walk it dry. Chew on that, Petunia.

    S Clizzy

    * *

    Dear Santa,

    Bring me whatever you see fit. I’ll appreciate anything.

    Timmy

    * *

    Timmy,

    That’s what I thought..... you little jerk!

    Santa
    Jeanlouise and aus71383 like this.
    Socialism Kills! Time proven, with a very large body count! We are a Constitutional Republic....... not a Democracy, get it correct!

    Don't be mistaken for a Gecko45: http://lonelymachines.org/mall-ninjas/

    Watch: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=14qTdp-Dd30

    ANGLICO Images


  2. #2
    mkh
    mkh is offline
    Distinguished Member Array mkh's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Location
    Foxhole somewhere in NE FL
    Posts
    1,675
    Awesome! I am so sending that to my email list.

  3. #3
    VIP Member
    Array OldVet's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Location
    Hiding inside a bottle of Jim Beam Black.
    Posts
    17,672
    I think I peed my pants!!!!

    I'm sorry, but I'm flat out stealing this one to send on!
    Retired USAF E-8. Lighten up and enjoy life because:
    Paranoia strikes deep, into your heart it will creep. It starts when you're always afraid... Buffalo Springfield - For What It's Worth

  4. #4
    VIP Member Array oakchas's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Location
    Iowa
    Posts
    7,568

    Re: Little Timmy writes to Santa

    Gosh, that's almost as funny as jeanlouise's here: Do you really want to mess with Santa?


    But I still laughed, even the second time!
    Rats!
    It could be worse!
    I suppose

  5. #5
    VIP Member
    Array ANGLICO's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Location
    I'm the guy next door that is polite, but does not tell you crap.
    Posts
    4,015
    So Sorry. I did not realize that jeanlouise had posted this............................ My apologies.

    At least I 'cleaned' up the language............... ROFLAO= at me.

    Thanks for pointing that out oakchas!

    Mods - might want to just delete or merge this thread I started. I defer to Ms. jeanlouise! Love it.
    Socialism Kills! Time proven, with a very large body count! We are a Constitutional Republic....... not a Democracy, get it correct!

    Don't be mistaken for a Gecko45: http://lonelymachines.org/mall-ninjas/

    Watch: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=14qTdp-Dd30

    ANGLICO Images

  6. #6
    VIP Member Array ccw9mm's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    USA
    Posts
    28,434
    Timmy needs to brush up his musical skills. I'm sure he could think of a snappy "Santa, Baby" lyrics rewrite that would put the big guy in his place. "Pizza face" indeed!

    "Santa baby, suckin' on the bottle this year, I see
    Never one to skip the single malt, apparently
    Hurry down the chimney tonight ... if you can fit

    Na na na, ta da da deee ...
    "

    Jeanlouise likes this.
    Your best weapon is your brain. Don't leave home without it.
    Thoughts: Justifiable self defense (A.O.J.).
    Explain: How does disarming victims reduce the number of victims?
    Reason over Force: The Gun is Civilization (Marko Kloos).
    NRA, SAF, GOA, OFF, ACLDN.

  7. #7
    VIP Member
    Array Jeanlouise's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    Location
    Almost Heaven
    Posts
    2,226
    Quote Originally Posted by ANGLICO View Post
    So Sorry. I did not realize that jeanlouise had posted this............................ My apologies.

    At least I 'cleaned' up the language............... ROFLAO= at me.

    Thanks for pointing that out oakchas!

    Mods - might want to just delete or merge this thread I started. I defer to Ms. jeanlouise! Love it.
    NO! Don't delete it, it's funny as all get out no matter who posts it You did do a better job cleaning up than I did but you changed the really bad work to "jerk"...I just ended on a high note.
    It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.

    http://www.timeanddate.com/countdown...eaves%20office

  8. #8
    VIP Member
    Array oneshot's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    Location
    +42.893612,-082.710236 , Mi.
    Posts
    8,758
    I thought it sounded like the letter was from atctimmy.

    What do I know?
    ANGLICO, Jeanlouise and pfries like this.
    I would rather die with good men than hide with cowards
    If you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans.
    Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it whether it exists or not, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedy."

    M&Pc .357sig, 2340Sigpro .357sig

  9. #9
    StarPD45
    Guest StarPD45's Avatar
    LOL
    Sent on.

Sponsored Links

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  

Search tags for this page

dear santa from timmy jones
,

little timmy and santa

,
little timmy santa letter
,
little timmy writes santa
,
little timmy writes to santa
,
timmy jones santa
,
timmy v santa
,

timmy vs santa

,
timmy writes
,

timmy writes a christmas letter

,

timmy writes a letter to santa

,

timmy writes to santa

Click on a term to search for related topics.