So True
This is a discussion on So True within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; Katie Couric, Charlie Gibson, Brian Williams and a tough old US Marine Sergeant were captured by terrorists in Iraq .
The leader of the terrorists ...
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Post By dukalmighty
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Post By Brad426
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December 20th, 2012 07:45 PM
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So True
Katie Couric, Charlie Gibson, Brian Williams and a tough old US Marine Sergeant were captured by terrorists in Iraq .
The leader of the terrorists told them he'd grant each of them one last request before they were beheaded and dragged naked through the streets.
Katie Couric said, 'Well, I'm a Southerner, so I'd like one last plate of fried chicken.' The leader nodded to an underling who left and returned with the chicken. Couric ate it all and said, 'Now I can die content.'
Charlie Gibson said, 'I'm living in ' New York , so I'd like to hear the song 'The Moon and Me one last time.'
The terrorist's leader nodded to another terrorist who had studied the Western world and knew the music.
He returned with some rag-tag musicians and played the song. Gibson was satisfied.
Brian Williams said, 'I'm a reporter to the end. I want to take out my tape recorder and describe the scene here and what's about to happen. Maybe, someday, someone will hear it and know that I was on the job till the end.' The leader directed an aide to hand over the tape recorder and Williams dictated his comments. He then said, 'Now I can die happy.'
The leader turned and said, 'And now, Mr. US Marine, what is your final wish?' 'Kick me in the ass,' said the Marine. 'What?' asked the leader, 'Will you mock us in your last hour?' 'No, I'm NOT kidding. I want you to kick me in the ass,' insisted the Marine. So the leader shoved him into the yard and kicked him in the ass. The Marine went sprawling, but rolled to his knees, pulled a 9 mm pistol from inside his cammies and shot the leader dead. In the resulting confusion, he emptied his sidearm on six terrorists, with his knife he slashed the throat of one with an AK-47, which he took, and sprayed the rest of the terrorists - killing another 11!
In a flash, all of them were either dead or fleeing for their lives. As the Marine was untying Couric, Gibson and Williams, they asked him, 'Why didn't you just shoot them all in the first place? Why did you ask him to kick you in the *ass?'
'What!?!' replied the Marine, 'and have you three ******** report that I was the aggressor?'
"Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country,"
--Mayor Marion Barry, Washington , DC .
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December 20th, 2012 07:45 PM
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December 20th, 2012 07:46 PM
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I have a very strict gun control policy: if there's a gun around, I want to be in control of it.
Clint Eastwood
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December 20th, 2012 07:47 PM
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You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, "I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along." . . . You must do the thing you think you cannot do. Eleanor Roosevelt
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December 20th, 2012 07:49 PM
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It is pardonable to be defeated but never surprised.
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December 20th, 2012 07:55 PM
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Originally Posted by
Brad426
Did that really happen?
Retired manager of the universe.
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December 20th, 2012 07:56 PM
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Originally Posted by
Jeanlouise
Ouch!
I have a very strict gun control policy: if there's a gun around, I want to be in control of it.
Clint Eastwood
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December 20th, 2012 08:02 PM
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December 20th, 2012 08:07 PM
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Originally Posted by
Brad426
Ouch!
Retired manager of the universe.
NRA member
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December 20th, 2012 10:27 PM
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So, did you send this to NBC yet?

Retired USAF E-8. Avatar is OldVet from days long gone - 1978. Oh, to be young again...
Paranoia strikes deep, into your heart it will creep. It starts when you're always afraid... "For What It's Worth" Buffalo Springfield
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December 21st, 2012 01:30 AM
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It's sad to say, but if it actually did happen, those three libtards probably would have reported that the Marine was the aggressor!
Live to ride, ride to live. Harley Road King

And keep a .45 handy

Kimber Custom TLE II
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