For all retired aircrew: Relive an airlift mission

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Thread: For all retired aircrew: Relive an airlift mission

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    For all retired aircrew: Relive an airlift mission

    Ah the memories this brings back but would go back to it in a heartbeat.

    Here is a way for you to relive an airlift mission for the romance and adventure of flying.

    That “Romance and Adventure” will all come back to you if you follow the steps of this “practice trip” at home:

    1. Stay out of bed all night.

    2. Sit in your most uncomfortable chair, in a closet, for nine or ten hours facing a four foot wide panoramic photo of a flight deck.

    3. Have four noisy vacuum cleaners on high, out of sight but within hearing distance and operating throughout the night. If a vacuum cleaner fails, do the appropriate restart checklist.

    4. Halfway through your nocturnal simulator course, arrange for a bright spotlight to shine directly into your face for two or three hours, simulating flying an eastbound flight into the sunrise.

    5. Have cold, overcooked food served in a cardboard box midway through the night.

    6. Have cold cups of coffee delivered from time to time. Ask your spouse to slam the door frequently.

    7. At the time when you must heed nature’s call, force yourself to stand outside the bathroom door for at least ten minutes, transferring your weight from leg to leg, easing the discomfort.

    8. Leave the closet after the prescribed nine or ten hours, and go out to your back yard and turn on your sprinklers and stand out in the cold and “rain” for twenty minutes, simulating the wait for the crew bus.

    9. Head for your bedroom, wet and with your B-4 bag and helmet bag. Stand outside the door till your wife gets up and leaves, simulating the wait while the maid makes up the quarters.

    10. When your spouse inquires, “What in the hell have you been doing?” just say, “Recalling the allure of all night flying to romantic places.” as you collapse into bed.

    11. If you are a purist do this 14 nights in a row.

    Hope you enjoy your sim session.
    blanco64 and shadowwalker like this.
    When you have to shoot, shoot. Don't talk.
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    Re: For all retired aircrew: Relive an airlift mission

    Funny stuff. I tell people if they want to simulate flying in a B-52, lock themselves in the trunk of a 65 Impala on a hot summer day and have someone drive down a twisty dirt road while they do math problems.
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    5. Have cold, overcooked food served in a cardboard box midway through the night.
    I was a USAF Security Specialist SP in the mid 70's and we were served those during alerts,we called them "Box Nasties"
    "Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country,"
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    Quote Originally Posted by dukalmighty View Post
    I was a USAF Security Specialist SP in the mid 70's and we were served those during alerts,we called them "Box Nasties"
    SPs have one of the hardest jobs and they were always outstanding. Outstanding in the rain, outstanding in the cold, outstanding in the heat but they were always there protecting us and the aircraft. Thank you for your service.
    When you have to shoot, shoot. Don't talk.
    "Don't forget, incoming fire has the right of way."

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    VIP Member Array dukalmighty's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by msgt/ret View Post
    SPs have one of the hardest jobs and they were always outstanding. Outstanding in the rain, outstanding in the cold, outstanding in the heat but they were always there protecting us and the aircraft. Thank you for your service.
    You ain't kidding,unless we were on a SAT or BAF mobile unit
    "Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country,"
    --Mayor Marion Barry, Washington , DC .

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