The Afghani quarterback
This is a discussion on The Afghani quarterback within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; The coach had put together the perfect team for the Chicago Bears. The only thing that was missing was a good quarterback. He had scouted ...
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January 11th, 2013 11:01 AM
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The Afghani quarterback
The coach had put together the perfect team for the Chicago Bears. The only thing that was missing was a good quarterback. He had scouted all the colleges and even the Canadian and European Leagues, but he couldn't find a ringer who could ensure a Super Bowl win.
Then one night while watching CNN he saw a war-zone scene in Afghanistan . In one corner of the background, he spotted a young Afghan Muslim soldier with a truly incredible arm. He threw a hand-grenade straight into a 15th story window 100 yards away.
KABOOM!
He threw another hand-grenade 75 yards away, right into a chimney.
KA-BLOOEY!
Then he threw another at a passing car going 90 mph.
BULLS-EYE!
"I've got to get this guy!" Coach said to himself. "He has the perfect arm!"
So, he brings him to the States and teaches him the great game of football. And the Bears go on to win the Super Bowl.
The young Afghan is hailed as the great hero of football, and when the coach asks him what he wants, all the young man wants is to call his mother.
"Mom," he says into the phone, "I just won the Super Bowl!"
"I don't want to talk to you, the old Muslim woman says. “You are not my son!"
"I don't think you understand, Mother," the young man pleads. "I've won the greatest sporting event in the world. I'm here among thousands of my adoring fans."
"No! Let me tell you!" his mother retorts. "At this very moment, there are gunshots all around us. The neighborhood is a pile of rubble. Your two brothers were beaten within an inch of their lives last week, and I have to keep your sister in the house so she doesn't get raped!" The old lady pauses, and then tearfully says,
"I will never forgive you for making us move to Chicago !!!!
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January 11th, 2013 11:01 AM
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January 11th, 2013 11:04 AM
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HAHAHahahahahahahahahah....... I did NOT see that coming. Good one!
"Just getting a concealed carry permit means you haven't commited a crime yet. CCP holders commit crimes." Daniel Vice, senior attorney for the Brady Campaign to Prevent Gun Violence, quoted on Fox & Friends, 8 Jul, 2008
(Sometimes) "a fight avioded is a fight won." ... claude clay
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January 11th, 2013 11:06 AM
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Being from Chicago and a Bears fan, I find this post completely funny!
I'd rather be lucky than good any day
There's nothing that will change someone's moral outlook quicker than cash in large sums.
Majority rule only works if you're also considering individual rights. Because you can't have five wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for supper.
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January 11th, 2013 11:06 AM
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Retired USAF E-8. Avatar is OldVet from days long gone - 1978. Oh, to be young again...
Paranoia strikes deep, into your heart it will creep. It starts when you're always afraid... "For What It's Worth" Buffalo Springfield
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January 11th, 2013 11:12 AM
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January 11th, 2013 11:17 AM
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NRA Member
Certified Kitchen Gunsmith
"Of all tyrannies, a tyranny sincerely exercised for the good of its victims may be the most oppressive."
- C.S. Lewis
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January 11th, 2013 11:40 AM
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This BEARS fan finds it extremely funny.
"The pistol, learn it well, carry it always ..." ~ Jeff Cooper
"Dilgentia Vis Celeritas"
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January 11th, 2013 11:46 AM
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BigJon
"Better to keep your mouth shut and be thought a fool than to open it and remove all doubt" ~ Mark Twain
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January 11th, 2013 11:55 AM
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If 'mental illness' is a main cause of gun-grabbing sentiments, then mental illness is the true enemy.
The March of Dimes worked. There's an opportunity there for being pro-active in defense of your rights.
Alternatlvely, please just actually give actual money occasionally.
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January 11th, 2013 11:57 AM
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January 11th, 2013 01:09 PM
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Chicago?!? Who'd have thought!
The place of peace, prosperity and NO gun crime!
"A Smith & Wesson always beats 4 aces!"
The Man Prayer. "Im a man, I can change, if I have to.....I guess!" ~ Red Green
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January 11th, 2013 01:21 PM
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You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, "I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along." . . . You must do the thing you think you cannot do. Eleanor Roosevelt
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January 11th, 2013 01:27 PM
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Best one I've heard all week!
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January 11th, 2013 01:34 PM
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Da Bears...... 
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January 11th, 2013 01:36 PM
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Retired USAF E-8. Avatar is OldVet from days long gone - 1978. Oh, to be young again...
Paranoia strikes deep, into your heart it will creep. It starts when you're always afraid... "For What It's Worth" Buffalo Springfield
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