Southern confidence

This is a discussion on Southern confidence within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; President Barack Obama was in the Oval Office when his telephone rang."Hello, President Obama" a heavily accented southern voice said. "This is Jimmy Boy, down ...

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Thread: Southern confidence

  1. #1
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    Southern confidence

    President Barack Obama was in the Oval Office when his telephone rang."Hello, President Obama" a heavily accented southern voice said. "This is Jimmy Boy, down here at Bump's Catfish Shack, in Vicksburg , and I am callin' to tell ya'll that we are officially declaring war on y'all!"

    "Well Jimmy Boy," Barack replied, "This is indeed important news! How big is your army?"

    "Right now," said Jimmy Boy, after a moments calculation "there is myself, my cousin Tom, my next-door-neighbor and brother Gerald, and the whole dart team from JD's Bait Shop. That makes eight or maybe nine depending if Bump can close the store.

    Barack paused. "I must tell you Jimmy Boy that I have one million men in my army waiting to move on my command."

    "Wow," said Jimmy Boy. "I'll have to call ya back!"
    Sure enough, the next day, Jimmy Boy called again. "Mr. Obama, the war is still on! We have managed to acquire some infantry equipment!"

    "And what equipment would that be Jimmy Boy?" Barack asked.

    "Well sir, we have two combines, a bulldozer, and my brother Mike's farm tractor."

    President Obama sighed. "I must tell you Jimmy Boy, that I have 16,000 tanks and 14,000 armored personnel carriers. Also I've increased my army to one and a half million since we last spoke."

    "Lord above", said Jimmy Boy, "I'll be getting back to ya."

    Sure enough, Jimmy Boy called again the next day. "President Obama! I am sorry to have to tell you that we have had to call off this here war."

    "I'm sorry to hear that" said Barack. "Why the sudden change of heart?"

    Well, sir," said Jimmy Boy, "we've all sat ourselves down and had a long chat over sweet tea, catfish, greens and pie and come to realize that there's just no way we can feed that many prisoners."

    SOUTHERN CONFIDENCE CANNOT BE SHAKEN
    NMB, PAPADALE1, OldVet and 6 others like this.
    "A first rate man with a third rate gun is far better than the other way around". The gun is a tool, you are the craftsman that makes it work. There are those who say "if I had to do it, I could" yet they never go out and train to do it. Don't let stupid be your mindset. Harryball 2013

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  3. #2
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    nope...not messin with the South!
    It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.

    http://www.timeanddate.com/countdown...eaves%20office

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    New Member Array tarheelddavi's Avatar
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    HAH! Ya'gotta love us Southerners

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    that is the truth!!!!!!!!

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    Fightin' words, without a doubt: "We're shuttin' down the Catfish Shack and the Bait Shop."
    niks likes this.
    Your best weapon is your brain. Don't leave home without it.
    Thoughts: Justifiable self defense (A.O.J.).
    Explain: How does disarming victims reduce the number of victims?
    Reason over Force: The Gun is Civilization (Marko Kloos).
    NRA, GOA, OFF, ACLDN.

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    Quote Originally Posted by ccw9mm View Post
    Fightin' words, without a doubt: "We're shuttin' down the Catfish Shack and the Bait Shop."
    Doesn't get more serious than that!
    It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.

    http://www.timeanddate.com/countdown...eaves%20office

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    funny
    Turn the election's in 2014 to a "2A Revolution". It will serve as a 1994 refresher not to "infringe" on our Second Amendment. We know who they are now.........SEND 'EM HOME. Our success in this will be proportional to how hard we work to make it happen.

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    Very good, I got quite a chuckle out of that.

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    Distinguished Member Array Black Knight's Avatar
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    Always heard "The South is gonna rise again".

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    And then, there are Tennessee, and Texas. davy crockett and santa anna - YouTube
    PAPADALE1 likes this.
    "When you have to shoot, shoot, don't talk."
    Tuco

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