"Tactical" Items For Sale On Ebay! (Humour)

"Tactical" Items For Sale On Ebay! (Humour)

This is a discussion on "Tactical" Items For Sale On Ebay! (Humour) within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; Be sure to check the comments, and questions and answers section.............. Tactical Assault Rocks from CroMagnum Arms International(CAI) with Magnum Spoon | eBay Tactical Assault ...

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Thread: "Tactical" Items For Sale On Ebay! (Humour)

  1. #1
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    Smile "Tactical" Items For Sale On Ebay! (Humour)

    Last edited by SIXTO; January 30th, 2013 at 11:58 PM. Reason: Removed the exclamation icon, as this thread has no urgency or importance
    WHEC724 likes this.
    CCW permit holder for Idaho, Utah, Pennsylvania, Maine and New Hampshire. I can carry in your country but not my own.


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    I couldn't help myself. i had to add to the insanity.

    I asked the seller

    "Why does anyone need an assault rock? These assault rocks will have blood flowing in the streets...Oh the humanity!"


    The assault rock is back. These have been flying off the shelf since Cain first took the tactical advantage against Abel.

    ^^^^^ Funny stuff.
    I havenít heard any of the journalists who volunteered to be waterboarded asking to have their fingernails wrenched out with pliers, or electrodes attached to their genitals.

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    Over $90 paid for both rocks, amazing.
    When you have to shoot, shoot. Don't talk.
    "Don't forget, incoming fire has the right of way."

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    ^ And im sure after his $89 salary, his profit will go to the NRA

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    Quote Originally Posted by atctimmy View Post
    I couldn't help myself. i had to add to the insanity.

    I asked the seller

    "Why does anyone need an assault rock? These assault rocks will have blood flowing in the streets...Oh the humanity!"

    ^^^^^ Funny stuff.
    I own a PT 745 PRO Taurus. It's been just an assault rock from day 1
    msgt/ret and atctimmy like this.
    I carry to protect myself and my loved ones from the BG's. Not to solve societies problems. That said: if more carried the deterrent would only have a positive overall effect on those problems.

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    Q: Does this Rock come wit a certificate of authenticity? I don't want to buy any of those fake Chinese import rocks that just break when you use them. 15-Jan-13
    A: It will come with a certificate of authenticity.
    Q: Will you ship to New York? It would need to be quick because the grip on this assault rock would count as a "military" feature and may be banned tonight. 14-Jan-13
    A: I will ship to New York. Auction ends tomorrow so you should probably do everything you can so you can get grandfathered in. I'll ship it right out for you.
    Q: Can this work in conjunction with pocket sand? 14-Jan-13
    A: It could be quite the combo.
    Q: Sheesh, that looks like it could leave quite nasty cuts or bruises, and could be pretty noisy. Is it possible to get them with a coating of moss, so as to cushion some of those sharp edges? (Or at least make the blows a bit quieter?) 14-Jan-13
    A: Something like a pillow sack can help to suppress the noise from a blow. If you are looking to do less damage might I recommend you arm yourself with a smile and hugs.
    Q: I have been informed that the weapon you are advertising for sale (or a model just like it) was involved in a unprovoked attack and eventual death of one Mr, Goliath (first name unknown) by a Mr. David (last name unknown). Can you confirm or deny that this was the weapon of choice used in the criminal attack? Surely you must have heard of it ...it made the news...even got written up in a book! 14-Jan-13
    A: Some of our original designs are based off of David's rock. It's nice seeing a properly armed citizen defending himself and others. What could have happened had he not had his assault rock?
    Q: Hello: If I have multiple assult rocks, do I need a special permit for a "high capacity rock holder"? Thank you. 14-Jan-13
    A: No permit necessary if you live in the free states.
    Q: Hi, I'm looking at your AR, I think I saw these being endorsed by Chuck Norris, is this the same model? If not, I think I would need more than just 1, do you have more available? 14-Jan-13
    A: We will have a commercial featuring Chuck Norris coming out soon. He is going to karate kick California into the ocean, that's all I can give away right now.
    Q: Do you believe in the saying.. "I will give up my Rock, when they take it from my dead cold Hands".. as I don't want to support those with constitutionrockphobia. 14-Jan-13
    A: I can assure you, when they come for my rock, I will give it to them one swing at a time.
    Q: Hi. Can you assemble these rocks either with a "sand button" or in a "featureless" configuration (i.e. without sharp points) so that they're California-legal? We like black rocks here, too, but we have to jump through some extra hoops to fill our 10-rock buckets. 14-Jan-13
    A: Maybe we can line up a rock show loophole purchase, own your rock in California in protest and contact your state reps and let them know they are idiots. Better yet, move to the free states as soon as possible.
    Q: Is this the Standard Ar and if so, Can it be customized with the New Improved STICK attachment? 14-Jan-13
    A: This is the standard A2 configuration, it will accept most common aftermarket attachments.
    Q: Anything in camo coming soon? 14-Jan-13
    A: Yes, we have some in the works, keep an eye on our auctions for it.
    Q: Hi, I'd hate to invest in this only for it to be taken away. Do you know if this AR will be grandfathered in if AWB comes into play? 14-Jan-13
    A: We hope they will be grandfathered. If they aren't they should be worth a lot on the underground assault rock market. If they come for your assault rock, give it to them one swing at a time.
    Q: Do you offer this in blue for traning purposes? 14-Jan-13
    A: We do not offer any less than lethal assault rocks so we can not in good conscience offer a training model.
    Q: I live in an National Rocks Act of 1934 friendly state. Do you plan to sell any full auto Assault Gravel (made prior to 1986 of course)? I'd be very interested. 14-Jan-13
    A: Keep an eye out on future auctions, we will have something hitting the market shortly.
    Q: If bans are enacted, will I be able to legally keep more than 10 AR's in a single box? Perhaps if I stencil the word "coal" on the outside of the box, I could keep more than 10 AR's in a box, close at hand near the front door? 14-Jan-13
    A: The coal trick may be a good bet. I also recommend keeping an assault rock on your side at all times. Assault rock on a rope will also be available soon for shower protection.
    Q: I am concerned about the finish. In the second picture it looks as if some of the black evilness wore off on your index finger. Is this a concern, or will it still function as intended with a little bit of Whale Oil? 14-Jan-13
    A: That's not the finish on my finger, just a touch of leprosy. This finish is pebble proof.
    Q: Two questions: 1) Can this rock be modified to inflict less harm? 2) Is this EPA compliant? 14-Jan-13
    A: No, no, and screw the EPA.
    Q: Is it available in "flat dark earth" or "coyote brown" ? Do SEALS use this brand of assault rock on missions or is this the preferred assault rock of Delta? 14-Jan-13
    A: We will be coming out with new colors in the future. This isn't alway the assault rock that is issued, but it is preferred by 9 out of 10 special forces members.
    Q: I am interested in a steel jacketed model. Is this a legal item or is it categorized as a "cop killer"? 14-Jan-13
    A: The steel jacketed was deemed a "cop killer" and banned several years ago.
    Q: Will you ship this to any FFL? 14-Jan-13
    A: I will ship this to any front door.
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    Q: My wife wants a AR. But,she doesn't like the black. Do you offer the AR in pink or any Girly colors? 14-Jan-13
    A: This assault rock can be painted whatever color you like. Currently we are just offering black and natural finish, more will be available soon.
    Q: What is the measurement? That thing looks way under 16 inches. Is a federal tax stamp required for legal ownership? 14-Jan-13
    A: There is no NFA tax stamp currently required. Dianne Feinstein is trying to retroactively get then under NFA jurisdiction. Contact your politicians now.
    Q: There a no apparent safeties on this unit. I don't see how you can sell this. Rocks kill people, People don't kill people! 14-Jan-13
    A: The only safety you need is in between your ears. The assault rock will need to be watched so it doesn't wander off on it's own.
    Q: Hi Is there an aftermarket Laser sight avail for this? 14-Jan-13
    A: There are several aftermarket laser sights available, I am sold out at the moment.
    Q: Does this AR come with a safety? 14-Jan-13
    A: The only safety you need is in between your ears.
    Q: Is this the same kind of assault rock that was used to kill Osama Bin Laden? 14-Jan-13
    A: I can neither confirm nor deny.
    Q: Does this come in wood grain finish? The all black is really really scary! 14-Jan-13
    A: Don't be so racist.
    Q: You are awesome.... That is all. 13-Jan-13
    A: Just doing my job, making sure America stays free and armed.
    Q: Hi I am a midget with with short arms.Do i need any special licence? 13-Jan-13
    A: No, I do not believe that midgets with short arms need licenses. You don't need a license for an assault rock either.
    Q: As the photos do not disclose a "made in America" label, how can I be assurred that this is a genuine product of CroMagnum Arms international (made in America)and not just another Chinese knock-off??? 13-Jan-13
    A: We are CroMagnum Arms International, there is no middle man. I can assure you this is an American Assault Rock.
    Q: Is there anywhere that teaches one how use this tactical rock? I prefer to not use the term "assault" as it frightens people and makes this tool sound very scary. Also how easy is the break down and cleaning? 13-Jan-13
    A: Training can be found, but I do not endorse any particular one. Cleaning is as simple as soap and water with a stiff brush.
    Q: If you wrap this in a heavy foam pad, would this de-militarize it and thereby allow it to be shipped to Californicate??? Thanks 13-Jan-13
    A: I don't know about de-militarizing it, sounds like a good silencer to me. For California purchases, the best thing is to head to the nearest free state and take part in a good old rock show loophole purchase.
    Q: Just wondering is this assault rock has already been properly zeroed in. If so, at what yardage?. 13-Jan-13
    A: The arm is what will need to be zeroed in.
    Q: i compete in long range rock throwing and am inquiring about the accuracy of your rock. is this a standard mil-spec assault rock or a match grade rock? 13-Jan-13
    A: This is a mil-spec model but is very accurate. Keep an eye out for future match grade options.
    Q: Can this rock be used repeatedly at high speed or is it necessary to strike with it then rest second or two? Or can I just rapidly use it over and over as fast as I can creating massive carnage? Thanks. 13-Jan-13
    A: This rock can strike as fast as the ARm can be swung.
    Q: We live in New Jersey, where it's almost impossible to get a concealed carry permit for this rock, unless you are a cop or a judge. Can you confirm that this rock will be legal in my draconian state? I'm concerned about the size and shape and that it may not conform to the looooong list of requirements here in NJ. I only get to buy one rock per month under NJ law, and I want to make sure this rock is legal in my state. Thanks in advance. 13-Jan-13
    A: I say buy it, carry it, don't tell anyone.
    Q: Hi, we're holding a Friends of NRA banquet in April. Is there any chance we could get Tactical Assault Rock to our event? 13-Jan-13
    A: That may be possible. You could either win the auction or since it's for the NRA I could probably send you a different assault rock.
    Q: If I hit it with a hammer, will it break into more than 10 pieces thus constituting a high capacity assault rock? 13-Jan-13
    A: If you hit it hard enough with a big enough hammer it is possible.
    Q: Is this AR available in a Left Hand model? 13-Jan-13
    A: This assault rock is ambidextrous.
    Q: Hi, would you be prepared to ship to the UK? There are no import restrictions at my end.... I'm pretty sure that that these are ITAR exempt.... 13-Jan-13
    A: If its legal I can ship it. Just be careful about letting them know you have a black assault rock.

    Q: Will you be offering a model with a bayonet lug? Because that Sir, would be the schnitz! 18-Jan-13
    A: We are working on a model now that will include all evil features.
    Q: My friends and I wonder if the spoon handle some quad rails? I would like to mount a crimson trace laser to the spoon. T. Jefferson, B. Franklin, J. Adams. 18-Jan-13
    A: We do not offer quad rails at this time, I would recommend tactical black duct tape.
    Q: Is a form 1 required? Does the tactical rock have swivel sling studs? 17-Jan-13
    A: No NFA forms are required at this time. The assault rocks have do not have any attachment points, but the assault spoon does include an attachment point for a single point sling.
    Q: By the description of this auction you just ship within the United (?) States... [Questionmark put there on intend] Well, I'm a German legal gun owner and since you'll donate the benefits to the NRA: actually I don't care if you'll ship it to me or not! It's for a good cause!!! That's why I didn't contact you before placing a bid: usually I ask sellers, if they would consider shipping internationally. I closely follow the news these days and Mr. O's show today (16 Jan 2013) was indeed something else to watch... I really like your humor in such a sad context - let's hope common sense wins against propaganda! BEST! 17-Jan-13
    A: I can probably make a special exception and ship to you. Thank you for your support.
    Q: Is this item exempt from the latest NY weapons ban?. It looks like it is barely legal -- I noted that the photo shows only 7 assault rocks, the maximum allowed per magazine (pants pocket). 16-Jan-13
    A: It may be fine as far as magazine capacity, but New York may have an issue with the three round burst capability.
    Q: I was wondering if this Magnum spoon has enough force to knock some sense into The Feinstein? Also does this come with an option for pink grips and pink rocks? I am a woman and want to look fashion foward when I wear my Magnum spoon and get unreasonably questioned by local law enforcement in Sacramento. 16-Jan-13
    A: The Feinstein is an impenetrable barrier of stupidity. I fear nothing can break through. Should you win the auction, I think we could work something out with a high tech pink coating. You should at least be looking good when you are getting tasered by California police.
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    Q: I noticed you do not sell to California residents. Do you do Face To Face sales at the local rock shows in Vegas, or do you have a store? Do you require proof of residency on these transactions to ensure that no California residents get these rocks? 13-Jan-13
    A: I can do a sale face to face utilizing the rock show loop hole.
    Q: I'm so glad I was able to find an Assault Rock here on ebay, I've been looking in every local gun shop and sporting goods store and can't find one anywhere on the shelves. Being weary that I may not win this auction, do you know if you will be able to offer anymore Assault Rocks in the near future? 13-Jan-13
    A: I will be offering more assault rocks in the future. We are doing our best to meet demands. I suggest bidding to the max of your credit card. You can also check out my assault spoon with eleven assault pebbles included(considered high capacity by many politicians and liberals everywhere).
    Q: Is this AR a pre-ban model? As I understand it, under my state's AR ban, the rock has to have been manufactured prior to 1000000000 B.C. for it to be legal. 13-Jan-13
    A: I have not done any scientific dating on this particular assault rock but I do believe it is preban. I would encourage you to call and write your politicians to let them know how ignorant they are.
    Q: Hi Are you guys associated with CroMagnum International Arms?? I believe that they put out a Secret Rock for use in specialised incidents that is silenced and has no serial number and is there fore untraceable. Regards 13-Jan-13
    A: We are CroMagnum Arms International. We have not yet been forced to serial number any of our assault rocks and silencing can be accomplished with a thick pillow case when the need arises. The Tactical Assault Rock is perfect for all of your clandestine missions.
    Q: Thank You for having the courage to post this devistating weapons system. I hear that a lad named David was able to defend his school against a giant with one of these. I will be bidding. Thank you for your courage. 13-Jan-13
    A: I can not say that I am courageous, just doing my job. David on the other hand sure had some rocks.
    Q: I'm a bit short on cash flow because of the economy,would you consider old used 79 Shovelhead Harley parts in trade?? Guaranteed rusted in the USA!! Also may have a few 68 Camaro or 70-72 Chev Truck pts laying around?? I really need one of these for protection as I cannot afford ammo any longer! Thank you for your time and understanding! 79shovelheadrider 13-Jan-13
    A: I am sorry but I can not accept trades at this time as all proceeds are going to the NRA-ILA.
    Q: If I win the auction, I'm thinking of accessorising the tactical A-Rock. Will it accept the following attachments: Swivel studs for a sling or bipod, 2X power red dot scope or laser? Bayonet attachment? Suppressor? Any advice would be appreciated. 13-Jan-13
    A: It will accept all standard assault rock accessories. I find that the best silencer is a pillow case or other similar device.
    Q: Hello, do standard accessories mount to the rock like other brands? Thanks in advance. 13-Jan-13
    A: This assault rock can accept all standard assault rock accessories.
    Q: Do you think the progressive gun-grabbers will be switching over to tactical assault rocks as the weapon of choice for their armed security? I mean, since they claim guns don't make society safer, yet continue to surround themselves with people who carry guns for, uh, protection, it would only make sense that they'd switch the SS over to assault rocks now that they're available. Right? Since guns don't make anyone safer and all. Many of these noted gun-grabbers also have CCW themselves. Was just curious if you think they'll actually follow their own advice, ditch the guns, and begin to carry assault rocks on themselves, or if they'll just continue to be hypocrites they've thus far proven themselves to be? Just trying to ascertain if there may be a run on assault rocks and a resulting multiple months long back order because of it like we've seen in the past with firearms, parts, and ammo. Sorry for the lengthy question, just trying to suss out the sitch. Thanks. 13-Jan-13
    A: We are already experiencing a run on assault rocks and we are doing everything we can do keep production up with demand. I believe assault rocks will be next on their list. I do not believe the gun grabbers will get rid of their armed security or their own guns. They are much smarter than the common people and they can handle it while we can't. This isn't about guns. This is about power.
    Q: D you plan on making a multicam or flat dark earth version for use overseas and are these the same ones that the seal team 6 are currently testing? 13-Jan-13
    A: This model is very similar to the one used by all special forces you have heard about, even the ones you haven't heard about. We are currently working on new surface finishes and camo patterns.
    Q: Is the same sort of Assault Rock used so effectively in the middle East? 13-Jan-13
    A: This is much higher quality rock than the type used by insurgents in the middle east. It is however very similar to the assault rocks used by special forces in secret wars across the world. You can be rest assured, this is the most tactical assault rock on the market.
    Q: Will this AR be of any use in the coming Zombie Apocalypse? Will I need two to achieve the "Double Tap?" 13-Jan-13
    A: I believe assault rocks will become the prevalent device used after Z-Day. You will need two assault rocks to achieve a double tap.
    Q: Will this accept pre-ban babnana clips? 13-Jan-13
    A: If you can manage to find any, you can load it into pre-ban-bananas.
    Q: What caliber and grain is this assault rock? Too funny, thanks! 13-Jan-13
    A: This assault rock is a 7500 grain 4.5ACP.
    Q: Hello I was wondering if you had 30 of these and a high capaicity assualt rock Banana clip? I know the banana clips are impossable to find now but I only have about 100 of them on hand. Thanks givememytoys. 13-Jan-13
    A: I currently have banana clips back ordered six years.
    Q: Can I mount a rail system to this? 13-Jan-13
    A: It is compatible with some rail systems although I do not offer any.
    Q: Hey, Is the A-Rock available in a larger caliber? I am a pretty big guy and if the grip isn't just right I am not sure I can be accurate at a sufficient range? Thanks. 13-Jan-13
    A: We will be coming out with assault rocks in larger calipers.
    Q: Does the transfer of the AR need to be handled by someone with a FRL (Federal Rock License)? 13-Jan-13
    A: No FRL transfer is necessary at this time.
    Q: Good morning, I am currently a FF/Emt in the state of Ma. We are unable to carry a concealed weapon while on duty other than a pocket knife or trauma shears will this AR be exempt? 13-Jan-13
    A: I think you should be fine carrying an assault rock while on duty. When in doubt, just do it and don't tell anyone.
    Q: Does it have provisions for a hi-capacity "Clip" (known as a magazine to the intelligent individuals) to be mounted so it can be used to automatically spray-fire into a crowd? I am also curious if it has provisions for a bayonet lug and a carry handle? 13-Jan-13
    A: This particular model does not have a carry handle or a bayonet lug. Burst fire can be achieved by throwing multiple rocks at once.
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    Q: Will you in the future offer a tactical rawhide sling,to convert this AR to the magnum version. 13-Jan-13
    A: We are currently working on a sling. There is no ETA yet as we have everyone working on getting as many assault rocks to the market as quickly as possible.
    Q: Would I require one for importation to the UK? I only ask because customs once impounded a very nasty looking pair of nail clippers I had on my key ring. 13-Jan-13
    A: I do not believe that any rocks can be shipped to or owned in the UK.
    Q: Will I need to register my assault rock, and is there a waiting period? 13-Jan-13
    A: There is no registration or waiting period currently. Call your elected officials to keep it that way.
    Q: What model number is it? Doe's this one turn into a paper weight ass well? 13-Jan-13
    A: This is the Tacticool Black model. During clandestine operations it can double as a paperweight.
    Q: Do you have any in wood grain? Since it's black, I could never use it for hunting. 13-Jan-13
    A: Keep an eye out, we will be coming out with a hunting model soon.
    Q: Is this a pre-ban model? 13-Jan-13
    A: This is extremely per-ban.
    Q: Is this rock free floated? Is it mil-spec? 13-Jan-13
    A: It is mil-spec, for what military I can no longer recall. It is free floated for short bursts while in the air.
    Q: I would like to get a rock for protection. But, I 've hear that black rocks are evil. Will this rock suddenly launch itself at an innocent family member or bystander? p.s. I am an avid hunter! 13-Jan-13
    A: Assault rocks have been known to develop a mind of their own so you will have to be careful. If it does happen the rock will be blamed so there is no need to worry. We will be having a special hunter version coming out soon.
    Q: Is this a "high capacity" assault rock, or a "normal capacity", assault rock? 13-Jan-13
    A: I believe they are one and the same.
    Q: If you paint a "go faster" stripe down the side of it, does it make it go further and faster when you throw it. As if it does i think this make all the difference in a tactical situation. 13-Jan-13
    A: This assault rock will accept go faster stripes and it will make it go faster and further. No other assault rock on the market can do that.
    Q: I am very concerned about the future. If I wanted to make multiple purchases from you and completely outfit a full arsenal, are there any current restrictions on the number of assault rocks I can buy in a year? 13-Jan-13
    A: There are currently no restrictions on the number of assault rocks you can purchase.
    Q: Can I attach 30 smaller rocks to this A-Rock to be able to engage more targets If I need to? Or is that illegal as I can only use this A-rock once with one throw. I've heard its illegal in California is that true? 13-Jan-13
    A: Thirty rocks may be pushing it, but you can throw multiple rocks on the burst fire setting. It sounds fun, so I'm assuming it's illegal in California.
    Q: Does it come with the shoulder thing that goes up? 13-Jan-13
    A: It does not come with the shoulder thing that goes up. I have been doing a bit of research into what Carolyn McCarthy meant by the shoulder thing that goes up. Nearest I can tell is that she has an issue with the alien technology utilizes by The Predator. Without getting a chance to examine the Predator device myself, I can not confirm if it will work in conjunction with the assault rock.
    Q: Do you sell a rack for mounting the AR in the back window of my pick up truck? 12-Jan-13
    A: I do not currently carry a truck rack for assault rocks. You should be careful displaying your assault rocks as you may be more likely to get tickets in some areas.
    Q: Is this supposed assault rock (a-rock for short) a angry and mentally ill pet rock, left over from the 70's craze ? If so, shouldn't you try to help it, and try to nurture it back to fun and healthy pet rock it once was... I mean don't warm and fuzzy hugs, and an award for every proper wiping of one's arse, be sufficient to rescue this poor little fella ? Won't you please think of the children! 12-Jan-13
    A: Those are different rocks. Pet rocks are lazy, dirty, hippie rocks. We tried rehabilitating them to become productive members of society, it was pointless. Assault rocks pretty much just kick arse for a living.
    Q: I have been thinking about one of these ARs ..But im not sure if i can import it to Canada. Do you know if its legal ..Being an assult rock and all ? 12-Jan-13
    A: I am not sure of Canada's laws, it's up to the bidders to verify the legality of owning assault rocks where they live. As long as we do not ban assault rocks here, might I suggest moving?
    Q: Are these AR's available in hollow point? 12-Jan-13
    A: While this assault rock is not a hollow point it could be modified with the proper tooling. If modified it will cause +25 splash damage on impact but will not be reusable.
    Q: Because the rock is black, will it give me the extra oomph I need to protect myself and my family from criminals who will be ignoring any gun bans placed on the lawful citizens? 12-Jan-13
    A: It will indeed give you extra oomph. Once an assault rock is black it basically will be like using a much larger caliber rock with the ability to throw it faster, you will also look much cooler. I am not sure what you mean about criminals having guns after a ban. It is well known that after a ban all guns will miraculously be vaporized.
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  10. #10
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    Since there is no copyright on ebay posted questions and answers I just had to post them here to save them forever.
    They are timeless and classic.
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